all of these are gold

oh my god

I am supposed to be being QUIET my partner is in a grad class zoom across the ROOM and these have me almost HYPERVENTILATING help help halp

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

i used to think it was just because i was growing out of it and maybe i am but man i really think the state of multiplayer games right now is pretty Bad

in 2009 i got tf2 for $20 and put my first 1k out of 4.8k hours in that game that year. i kept coming back to play the game. there were barely any unlocks back then and you had to get them through achievements (at least for some of that year). but there was no incentive to come back other than the game itself. every server was a different experience run by different people with different players. did you want a super serious game? there were servers for that with people who tried hard. and if you didnt want to do that, there were a bunch of other community made game modes and maps that were fully of silly fun shit. you could actually make some pretty decent random friends this way! and if you didnt like a server you could just hop around for hours, or quit. there was nothing to compel you to keep playing, you just Did.

today, i buy a multiplayer game, i know exactly what maps it has, what gamemodes it has, every item in the game has been shown to me and their progression line is already outlined for me. i will not see anything out of the ordinary unless the developers mess something up and promptly patch it. if i go too far out of the map im told by the game WHERE ARE YOU GOING GET BACK IN THE FIGHT and if i dont it just straight up kills me. if you somehow manage to run a modded server of the game the developers send someone to your house to break your knees.

i know that its going to incentivize me to keep playing by giving me xp for every little thing i do to make sure that if im not good at the main objective in the game i still feel like my performance is good enough to not give up and find something else to do. its going to give me "daily challenges" that are just "do thing that happens naturally in the game x amount of times" that give me more xp and if i grind away at it hard enough maybe i'll get the golden rifle bullet gun they're only giving away for THIS WEEK ONLY and i dont want to miss out on having my Video Game Master Status Symbol.

when i join a lobby, everyone has one goal and it's Win. everyone has chosen a character or loadout that is considered borderline broken to almost everyone but You Gotta do it because its the only way to Win. i am grouped up with 5 random people who have all been playing for 7 consecutive hours like its their fucking job and they have clearly exhausted every ounce of fun out of the game for the day (and their life probably) and are already really frustrated but are grinding away anyway just to say they did so. if i decide to play outside of The Meta™ i will probably be votekicked from the lobby, forcibly removed from the match and penalized because some guy who's gone 0-14 and hasn't figured out when to quit decided that's my problem now.

but its okay if all thats too frustrating, because you could spend 3 weeks doing menial video game chores OR you could spend $20 and get the thing they're hanging over your head right away which will eventually be worthless once next weeks Thing comes out and everyone's grinding a game they no longer find fun out of obligation. it is great how multiplayer experiences have just decided to become skinner box jobs you pay to work at.

Full article about the October 20th Netflix walkout is here. 

Fuck Netflix.

I really hope that the 2003 2D Clone Wars show gets a resurgence like we saw with atla when it went up on netflix. It’s really one of the most Extra™ portrayals of the jedi I’ve ever seen.

- Mace Windu absolutely obliterating a thousand commando droids with his bare hands, including what I think is the single greatest use of the force:

- Obi Wan doing a kinetic slide on a speederbike while in full clone trooper armor

- Yoda mind-tricking Captain Typho while Padme watches

- the now-infamous scene of Anakin eating live bugs (including slurping a worm like it’s a particularly tasty spaghetti noodle)

- that one fucking Jedi who was supposed to be Shaggy from Scooby-Doo

- Anakin being late to his own knighting ceremony

Bonus:

- everyone is so ripped it’s ridiculous

- C3PO strip tease

- the first appearances of Ventress and Grevious

- a truly excessive amount of force speed

- and Captain Fordo, my love

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

give me booboo wheel... i must have booboo wheel i simply must!

yes, yes...!

Kiss your dog.

This is the best thing you‘ll going to see today so just watch 😍

That’s a funny looking duck

Is the owl video cute?

Rating: CUTE

This owl is looking for the perfect bath spot, and having fun doing it— the behavior is natural and displayed freely, just an owl being an owl!

This is fucking fantastic. The Edelweiss Pirates.

Ok i need a whole ass mini series about them

For your viewing pleasure

I don’t what kind of fucking vibe this has but it is nice and chaotic.

whenever ur holding tongs and get the urge to clack them together thats the carcinization impulse rearing up in ur dna

Dead Winter Minicomics #096 A new page every Tuesday & Friday

- Discord members see new strips a day early https://discord.com/invite/y3A7aHm - $2 Patreon subscribers can read the full ~20 page buffer in advance https://patreon.com/deadwinter - Check out the main comic: http://deadwinter.cc ——————————————————————————– If you want to read this strip as a single big panel, here it is in that format! 

Also, here is a list of names and hometowns: https://pastebin.com/ZycAfx7C There are 40 characters across 20 titles! If you’d like, try naming as many people as you can before clicking the answer key.