chinese college girls slay (cr: 哭天喊地六仙女）

Home Ownership Was a Mistake

This is for @trickybonmot, who may or may not use some of these stories in a fic.

Okay. So.

In the year of our lord 2010, my wife and I were lucky enough to be gifted $20k by my parents, which in those days (given it was a historically low point for real estate prices in Seattle) was enough for a down payment on a house. It was an astounding confluence of luck and privilege that led to us being homeowners, because if they gave us the same money now it would go precisely nowhere.

Anyway, it was not enough money for a large house, or a fancy house. We looked at a lot of places, only some of which were move-in ready (and one of which was absolutely just a tear-down) and eventually settled on our current place, which is a 1910 bungalow with a detached garage that was finished and turned into a studio.

Was it the most aesthetically pleasing house when we bought it? No. The walls were white, the carpet was light beige, and the paint had seen better days. That said, it was move-in ready and the owner was pretty desperate to sell, so we took it!

The inspector let us know that some of the wiring was still the old knob-and-tube, so we'd want that updated sooner rather than later, but it looked pretty good. About half the outlets were grounded, so it didn't stop us from plugging in three-prong appliances. We just had to use more extension cords than maybe we'd prefer.

The Electrical

The first big house thing we paid for was to have the entire place rewired. Our circuit breaker was a mystery, we didn't have enough outlets, and we were tired of being stuck with specific layouts of our stuff due to the lack of grounded outlets. We were expecting about half the wiring to be up to code, and the rest would need an update.

Spoiler alert: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

The rewiring took about a week, and every morning the electrician sat down with us and told us what new fire trap he'd uncovered.

"Yeah, so the knob and tube wiring going to the lights in the ceiling? Knob and tube gets hot when it's running, and yours is under three layers of insulation."

"You know how you thought your outlets were grounded? They weren't, actually, the ground wire just went elsewhere into the house and wasn't connected to anything."

"So there's wiring in your crawlspace? Whoever put that in nailed some sheets of wood paneling over it, so we had to rip the wood paneling out to access it."

I think the job was about $15k when it was done, we had many many more outlets, and our house was no longer one bad day from lighting itself on fire. Victory, I guess?

The Studio Window

This was leaking a bit, and we knew it was leaking when we moved in. (South facing walls get all the weather in our region.) We were not handy enough to replace it ourselves at the time and we also didn't have money because I got laid off shortly after we bought the house and was making my living doing costume commissions. Solution: Trade costuming work to an acquaintance who did carpentry.

The window, we discovered, was not so much a finished window as it was a single sheet of glass sandwiched between some boards.

Badly.

The carpenter was not entirely she that she was qualified for the job, but she did manage to remove the single sheet of glass and replace it with a window that was insulated and actually capable of opening. She used caulk around it. It was way better than we had before. Maybe someday we'll have both studio windows replaced by a contractor who actually does windows, but this is not that day!

The Siding

The cedar shingles were no longer cutting it at a certain point, so we had the house resided. (Houses are money pits, in case you didn't know.) This was a $30k job (MONEY PIT!) and had several layers of badness.

Bad: Our house had no insulation. It was cedar shingles over the original siding, with nothing in between that original siding and our INTERIOR WALLS. There was occasionally a newspaper. Our PM asked if we wanted insulation? And we said yes, please!!! We did not have a lot of time to think about insulation or research the best type, so it's just sheets of the pink fiberglass stuff in there, but it exists and we have it now!

Worse: Underneath our laundry room was a horrorshow. The laundry room is an addition that was added to our house probably sometime in the 50s? And, uh...

Well, the siding guys pulled off the siding, took a look at what was under it, and immediately called the project manager. The project manager came out, took a look, and then called us. He said that the siding guys thought it really needed to be reinforced and stabilized before they re-sided it, which is very fair, because I think the people who built it originally were drunk when they did it. It was a fucking Wild West cowboy construction situation under there.

Yes, you heard that right: A LOAD-BEARING SHINGLE.

Our project manager also informed us that the siding guys couldn't do the reinforcement, because they're just siding guys. They don't do structural. This is very fair.

It also needed to be done by Monday so we could stay on schedule for the siding work.

We learned this on Friday.

I immediately called my general contractor dad and got his voicemail, because (I remembered belatedly) he was in Mexico getting dental surgery. There was absolutely no way we could get another contractor out to do the work over a single weekend.

It was up to us.

My wife and I (mostly my wife) went HAM on it. We rented big jacks from the tool library to prop the laundry room up while we replaced one of the entirely rotten support poles. One of the big telephone poles was so wrecked with dry rot we could kick it out of place. (It didn't even touch the BIG ROCK that was supposed to be its foundation!!! It was floating!!!) Several of the joists were also fucked, so we ran new joists alongside them and married them together. My wife dug holes while crouched in a 4' high space, filled the holes with gravel, compacted it by putting a piece of wood on top of it and hitting it with a mallet, and then installed an entire additional support system from 4x4s and deck blocks. She actually attached the support system TO THE FUCKING HOUSE, which was a big improvement from the way it was originally held on by vibes and paint.

Here's a tasty little before and after:

(Yeah, see how that visible joist at the front just... stops at the far left? There's a new joist right behind it now.)

This was completed with resounding cries of, "Good enough!" and "It's better than it was before!" The siding guys thought it was fine and sided over it. Someday hopefully we will be able to afford to tear the whole thing down and rebuild it with a properly poured foundation, but in the meantime the spin cycle on the washing machine no longer shakes the whole house. Victory?!

Ridiculous: The purple paint saga. My wife and I are lesbians who tend toward maximalism in our decoration style. Construction companies find this baffling. We paid extra to our siding company to get the extended color choices (if you order the siding with the color baked in it lasts longer, but you're limited to a particular range of colors) and spoiler alert: 90% of them are boring as fuck. We basically paid extra to have access to 400 shades of white and 400 more shades of beige. There were like three saturated colors in the whole book. Pathetic.

Anyway, we chose the one nice teal that was available and decided we'd paint the door purple, since all the purple colors were gray at best. The project manager then forgot to put in our order, and when he remembered he'd forgotten, ordering our siding through his company would have pushed back the start time by six weeks. We could still make the original start time if we ordered through a different company doing the same thing, though!

Me, immediately: And we wouldn't be restricted to your color palette, right? Him: Yeah, they can do custom colors. Me, slapping down a color card called "Fully Purple": MAKE IT PURPLE.

Bless this man, he went to the siding company and asked for Fully Purple. They told him they couldn't do that color, and also is he sure anyone wants this color? He called them on the phone and informed them yes, we did want that color, and also that he'd worked for them and he knew damn well they could do that color, they'd just have to custom mix it, so they needed to do their fucking jobs. Suitably chastened, they finally sent us a sample of the siding, and it was... okay. It was purple for sure, but a little de-saturated. Not the purple of our hearts.

I asked if they'd actually started manufacturing our siding yet or just sent the color sample. The project manager confirmed they hadn't, and if we ordered this imperfectly-purple siding now, it would be several weeks before we could get started.

"We're gonna paint," I decided, and our project manager put in the orders.

The paint store called him and said, "Hey, are you sure you want this color?" Yes, he assured them, that's the right color.

The guys doing the painting opened up the can and then called him and said, "Are you sure this color?" and he told them yes! They want that color!

At this point I told him he should just start responding with, "They're lesbians!!! Yes! They want the purple! They're lesbians!!!"

Eventually we cleared every hurdle god and the construction industry put in front of us, and now our house is Fully Purple.

It also has insulation, wiring that won't kill us, and a laundry room that hopefully won't collapse anytime soon. We got a heat pump installed that took shockingly little time and worked immediately, and our next project will be having the roof redone. Check back in to find out what fresh horror awaits us then! I think it'll be a second roof under our existing roof made of lead and asbestos tiles, probably!

I would like to be clear that me and my wife love our gay little purple house, and we are glad we bought an old house instead of new construction, even with all the bizarre home "improvements" from the previous owners that we've had to remove and redo. Why?

Anyway, I bet you want to see what we've done with the inside of the place, huh?

We keep getting real estate spam calls and texts asking if we want to sell our house, and no!!! We don't!!! WE FUCKING LIVE HERE!!!! Come look at what I've done to my house and tell me to my face these are the choices of someone who gives a fuck about resale value!!! I LIVE HERE!!!

children existing in public spaces is genuinely like. necessary for the continuation of society. it doesnt have to be your kids you dont have to volunteer at a daycare or whatever but you need to be able to tolerate the presence of someone who is learning how to exist as a human and interact with people

This is the real photo

Who on God’s green earth photoshopped their butt cracks to be larger and smaller. Why would anyone do this.

Look, my big advice for trans people when it comes to presentation is "you can not get over the thing you're scared of without doing the thing you're scared of." You are not going to just one day wake up more confident to wear the clothes you want. You just have to pick a day and do it. Force yourself. Don't like, make it into some huge adventure where you're anxious the whole time. Check the mail. Go get drive through. Idk something easy, but while taking that big plunge.

Same thing with hrt. Just go fucking get it. The longer you second guess yourself the longer you're going to be miserable. If there is no immediate concern for safety, go get hrt. Now. Im serious. Stop waiting. Stop arguing with yourself. Theres a long wait? Get your name on the list now then. Self med if you need.

Be happy and love yourself.

heres a midi of hips dont lie with a banjo as the vocals

i cant believe this

this sounds like it belongs in a legend of zelda game

I’m totally serious when I say I absolutely love this I’ve listened to it like twelve times now it’s fantastic 10/10

Click reblog as soon as the banjo came in. That is amazing.

I have missed this post

….it actually does sound like LoZ music 

just imagine 

link dancing to this

Whoa there buster! Let’s calm the horses. Hold your tits.

some of you just cannot accept that “i just don’t like it” is a complete reason to not engage with media or a facet of media

funniest possible advice

Feel like I haven’t drawn for ages so…the usual kind of warm-up

It took way too much scrolling to find any wangxian on my dash this morning so I’m fighting back

don’t get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE meta that explains suibian’s unsealing behavior via either The Power of Brotherly Love or the loyalty between A Boy and His Sword (or both), but i also think it’s fun to imagine that suibian was just making ad hoc decisions about whether to unseal every time someone tried to unsheathe it based on its own mysterious agenda that we are never privy to.

like, take episode 20 when lan wangji and jiang cheng take over the wen outpost and that lan disciple hands suibian to lan wangji. lan wangji tries and fails to unsheathe suibian and we assume that it’s because he doesn’t have wei wuxian’s core, BUT. what if it’s because suibian was super offended by the way the lan disciple gave it to lan wangji instead of to jiang cheng, who was actually standing in between them at the time? the disciple had to REACH ACROSS jiang cheng to give it to lan wangji. um, rude much?? so maybe suibian was like “seriously? right in front of wei wuxian’s brother’s salad?” and refused to come out in solidarity. no one gets to disrespect wei wuxian’s family like this!!

in episode 42 when wei wuxian is recovering after his nephew-inflicted stab wound, he asks lan wangji if suibian really sealed itself, and in true second jade fashion, instead of using his words, the guy just tugs on the hilt to demonstrate that he’s unable to unsheathe it. suibian was probably trying to be helpful! wei wuxian had asked if suibian was sealed, and if suibian had allowed lan wangji to unsheathe it in response to that question, wei wuxian would have interpreted that behavior to mean “no, suibian was not sealed.” suibian doesn’t have a mouth and lan wangji wasn’t using his, so this was the only logical way to communicate that it had, indeed, been sealed at least some of the time.

during the golden core reveal, jiang cheng of course unsheathes suibian. is this because of the golden core, or is it because wen ning says it’s because of the golden core? at this point suibian is probably pretty tired of the shitty yunmeng bro dynamic. it wants them to get back together! it misses vibing with sandu! wen ning is giving it a perfect opening to sow the seeds for eventual reconciliation: prove to jiang cheng that the core inside him is wei wuxian’s so he’ll have hard evidence of how important he is to his brother even if said brother can’t say it in words. all suibian has to do is strategically unseal whenever jiang cheng is unsheathing it and stay sealed for everyone else! easy peasy.

wen ning shoving suibian in jiang cheng’s face: PULL IT OUT!

suibian: huh, i wonder what he’s going for here. whatever, should be interesting. i’ll bite.

jiang cheng: so what if i pull it out?!

jiang cheng: *angrily unsheathes suibian*

surprised pikachu jiang cheng: the seal was lifted?

wen ning: nope. it’s still sealed. if you try to get anyone else to unsheathe it, they won’t be able to.

suibian: oho, what’s this? they won’t, huh? *popcorn.gif*

jiang cheng: so why can i pull it out?

suibian: yeah wen ning, why can he? :D

wen ning: because it recognizes you as wei-gongzi.

suibian: i WHAT NOW?? oh, this is gonna be good.

jiang cheng: what are you talking about? why me?!

wen ning: because the golden core…

suibian: go on…

wen ning: …circulating spiritual energy inside your body…

suibian: oh, i think i see where this is going!

wen ning: ….is his.

jiang cheng: *face of extreme emotional devastation*

suibian: okay yeah, i can work with this.

#suibian: i am surrounded by emotionally constipated men who refuse to open their goddamn mouths #i don’t even HAVE a mouth but i am FIXING THIS #passive aggressively if i must. it’s not like i have a lot of options! i’m a frickin sword!!

via @p0tato-kn1shes

Hollow

artbyjulia.png on Instagram

#like...why use this baby word when you can just say how you feel about it

Found this in the original post tags and I just... SIGH

Here’s the thing, anon. Squick isn’t just ‘I don’t like this’, it’s ‘I think this is gross and it makes me deeply uncomfortable but I pass no judgement on those who enjoy it, because I acknowledge that everyone is different and those same people may have the same visceral reaction some of the things I enjoy’ and was originally made popular in the kink community.

So yeah, if you want to say that every time you come across a trope or whatever you find icky then go ahead, say that every time.

Also, this term dates back to Usenet in the early nineties, so sure, go off.

This frustrates me so much because squicks and triggers are fundamentally different things and as someone with PTSD, the distinction is super useful!

Squicks are things I find personally gross but may not be gross to someone else. They don’t upset me or provoke my PTSD, they simply do not pop my corn. Example: Omegaverse. I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable and I’m not going to read it, but if you like it, you do you.

Triggers are things which directly provoke my PTSD. This means that my triggers may seem completely normal and innocuous to someone else, because my triggers are so personal and intrinsically linked to a specific event in my life. My reactions to these triggers can include panic attacks and flashbacks to this traumatic event. Sometimes being triggered can affect me for several hours or even days.

Describing something as either a squick or a trigger allows me easily establish the difference in my potential reaction to something without having to go into painful detail about why bodily fluids might make me back button quickly but poker games might leave me a crying wreck. 

Making this distinction, and having a specific word for something that is not your slice of pie, but also not an actual psychological trigger, is also REALLY important for making sure that the word “trigger” can retain its original, specific, purposeful, and collectively understood clinical meaning (both inside and outside online fannish communities).

If we encourage everyone to lump things that just make them slightly uncomfortable or simply aren’t to their taste in under the word “trigger”, it actually dilutes the meaning of the word. It makes it harder for us all to, for the most part, collectively agree on and understand what exactly is being described when the word gets used.

And that destruction of shared precise definitions is a problem! It is really useful to have the communal language to be able to clearly and quickly delineate between “this grosses me out, no thanks” and “this is going to set off a trauma episode, rattle my brain, and probably throw off the rest of my day/week as a result” while also maintaining your privacy, and to know that you will be understood in what you are saying. Not having it is actually detrimental to the effort of making our communities safe and navigable for people living with trauma. Which is a goal that is much more important to me, personally, than the idea of not being “cutesy” (a word which in this case which sounds a lot like it’s being used as a euphemism for “cringe”).

(Also, one has to wonder if people told Shakespeare he was being childish when he made up entirely new words that are still widely used in the English language today...... 🤔)

My understanding is that “squick” was also created to avoid using more judgmental terms like “gross” or “disturbing”--like yeah, I do find X kink gross or disturbing, but that’s my personal feeling, not an objective fact about the world, and if I’m explaining to my friend who is super into X that I’d prefer they leave it out of the story they’re writing me in the fic exchange, I want to use politer language!

“Squick” does sound silly, like onomatopoeia, but I think that’s part of its role--it’s a word that defuses if, again, you’re saying something squicks you in front of an audience that may include its connoisseurs. When I say I’m squicked, I’m clearly not getting onto a high horse of dignity and moral righteousness. At the same time I’m not being so indirect for the sake of politeness--”oh, it’s not my favorite thing, I’m not sure it works for me, I haven’t found a fic about it that clicks for me”--that someone could misunderstand how much I do not want to see it.

And, to reiterate, it is a grown up word made by grown up nerds in the 90s so if you think it was somehow born on and limited to Tumblr I'm going to need you to actually do some fandom history research before you ever speak authoritatively again about anything fandom-related or adjacent.

I love and deeply miss the term “squick” and really want to see it brought back. It allows dislike for its own sake and without judgement. It’s polite, gentle, and has an air of “you do you.” A squick is not a trigger. Triggers are related to trauma. You’re allowed to not like things and not have them related to anything other than just finding them unpleasant. And that aversion can be strong! That’s okay! I really don’t like watersports. Like, gag-reflex levels of aversion, but it’s not triggering. I just really don’t like it.  I feel like we’ve lost the right/ability to just... quietly not like things and move on with our lives. Not everything is for everyone, and you don’t need a reason to not like something. Just politely and quietly excuse yourself. No need to draw attention, and if someone asks you why you just say, “No, it squicks me out.” No judgement. No narrative necessary. 

There is a sad trend of trying to make everything you personally dislike morally reprehensible in some way to justify your dislike of it. You're allowed to just not like something for no real reason. You do not have to justify why you dislike something, and the word "squick" is perfect for that. It say "look I really really don't like this thing, but it's ok if you do" and that is useful.

I think the biggest problem is that a lot of these kids are VERY into the whole fandom purity culture thing, so they actually DO want to make it out to be morally reprehensible, and they DON'T think it's ok that other ppl might be into it.

Cheerfully using “squick” since 1992, because it means a specific thing and other words do not mean that thing.

Very much SAME.

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

Artist : RONPU (pixiv / twitter / weibo / IG)

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