The sun is going down...

me, getting along well with my male coworkers:

When you’re trying to act normal in front of a group of people you barely know and someone mentions one of your special interests

Ballroom at Schaezlerpalais in Augsburg | Germany

Coco (2017) dir. Lee Unkrich & Adrian Molina

vampires really should be able to get drunk they literally have to be alive forever let them have this

hc: vampires have no blood so they get drunk faster than people

charlie pulling over a shirtless carlisle at 4 am: dr cullen your blood alcohol content is literally 100% how are you not dead carlisle: au contraire im absolutely dead

I have decided on a new constellation. I call it The Bees. If you look up at the night sky and see all those sparkly dots, congratulations. You see The Bees. I have just made astrology 10000x easier, you’re welcome.

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

LOOK AT MY PRINCESS SNAPCHATS

what do you mean snapchats these belong in an art gallery

This came to me while looking at other memes in a dream

it’s too early for this

oks

me and the boys, felsírtam

tegnapról

Flags Mashup Bot is really out here trying to start World War III

pictures from the area 51 raid are honestly poetic cinema and we should all be happy that we are witnessing such a historic moment

“Mmmf”

“The Unpleasantness” that’s just me 😂

“not enough pillows”

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

my favorite thing in the entire world is fiction that takes the concept of "space ship" to its literal extreme i'm not even exaggerating that shit rocks

pics that make you yearn for a life in a universe that only exists in your daydreams

pics that make you wish Treasure Planet was a more appreciated movie