i think it’d be funny if there was a scene where cam and pal are trying to figure out “why is nona’s hair growing so fast??” and they have half a book written with all their theories on nona’s lyctoral regeneration concerning hair growth and then one day corona sees their research and is like “oh that? that’s a classic ianthe prank. she once made babs’ hair grow at twice that rate for a whole month. i had to cut his hair every five hours to keep him presentable” and there goes like eight months research down the drain

#when there's a variable you don't understand sometimes it's just. ianthe (ianthe) via @gideonisms

lmao just saw someone say that they were 20 pages into gtn for the first time and felt a totally reasonable violent surge of envy. like imagine getting to read tlt for the first time again. hey ive got an idea why don’t we just kill the section of my brain that r

Hey, good ol’ demotivational posters! Have some from about 13 years ago: 

The really fun ones turned into conversations.

I had a dream that Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were solving a murder mystery in a giant mansion. Legolas kept eating popcorn.

Part II

boris has brought you a pool noodle

fearsome

boris accepts and appreciates the boris fanart

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

Something I love about Tumblr that you don’t really get on Reddit, is the brief flashes of fandoms I’m entirely unfamiliar with, like some large beast in the undergrowth.

Right now, it’s The Locked Tomb. Never even HEARD of it before coming here, but I see impressions of it everywhere. It’s like, teenagers wearing skeletons? Or something?

Do I dare seek it out? Will it wear MY skeleton?

I JUST LOVE THE FACT THAT THE SUBMARINE HAS A MANUAL WINDOW CRANK

I wanted to post some more of the silly comics I've drawn of my cat

this is objectively one of the worst opinions on history i’ve ever read thank you grimes.

Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

Jimmy Budgett

Wasted away again in Meageritaville

"Why does Batman need to be a billionaire?"

"He has to fund the Justice League. They often have a space program."

"But couldn't he do more good if he just invested-"

"The Earth is routinely invaded by aliens, gods, and the forces of an extraterrestrial god of tyranny."

He has, like, three charitable organizations he funds, named after his father, his mother, and Alfred.

Between both Bruce and Batman’s contributions, Gotham should be a better city than it is, and the only reason it isn’t is DC Editorial Mandate that basically says Gotham has to get worse and worse and worse or there’s no Batman stories they can tell (and, obviously, they have no other characters besides Batman).

There’s a reason Batman thinks the city is literally cursed.

I want to see Bruce Wayne go off

"Oh, oh, just charity my way out of dealing with the Penguin, a living, breathing 19th century Marxist's cartoon of the bourgeoisie? Just fund anti-Clayface measures? Crack down on corporations who put out shapeshifting cosmetics? What socio-economic pressures turn botonists into actual fucking dryads?! What inspires anti-animal terrorism? THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL KIND OF ECO-FASCISM!"

For the record, Gotham is canonically curse, because it sits on some sort of evil swamp. I think.

There are like, half a dozen curses. The Lazarus Pits are leaching into the water, Slaughter Swamp is an unconnected body of water a few miles outside of the city that also ressurects people (see Solomon Grundy), the Bat-demon Barbatos and his followers (the Court of Owls) have been fucking up the city psychically and financially, the malevolent influence of the warlock Doctor Gotham's tomb in the center of the city, the madness hypersigil of Amadeus Arkham (in Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth), there were several outposts of subterraneans and aliens beneath the city during the Silver Age, constant chemical warfare that makes it the equivalent of a WWI trench managed by MK-ULTRA, it's in New Jersey, and I think God just hates it

tired: Batman could do more good by running charities than by fighting criminals

wired: Batman could save literally every other city on the planet simultaneously with the amount of effort and resources he’s pumped into Gotham, which is a lost cause, but this is his city damnit.

Inspired: Batman’s diligence is containing the menace that is Gotham’s madness from escaping too far from city limits.

For all his billions, for all his activity, for all his efforts, Gotham is a bonfire fed by the madness of mortal people, cultivated by dark powers and just existing there makes living souls like kindling for it. And left to its own devices,it’d become a breeding ground for supernatural unrest that no mere social service system or social awareness of activist campaign, no government program, no actions of a singular vigilante, could ever hope to undo.

Batman is single handedly if need be but fortunately not alone so often, holding back the noxious psychic influences of warp and wyrd entities and what they do to the very environment and landscape through the power of sheer, unbridled humanity.

Ascended: Gotham is containing Batman, because the forces of evil, consciously or not, have figured out that if let loose, this motherfucker and his sprawling adoptive family would've solved every crime in the world ever, so they throw literally everything they have at his home town in hopes that he stays there.

Because they were foolish and let Alan Scott escape. They aren’t making that mistake again.

What if Gotham is the pump?

Like. What if, because Gotham is such a shitshow, anyone looking to improve their lives has their eye on being able to move out of Gotham, so whenever Bruce Wayne's charitable endeavors come somebody's way, they take it, pack their bags, and move the fuck away, and take that money with them.

Meanwhile there's an ongoing influx of people to Gotham primarily because they're flat broke and real estate in Gotham is dirt fucking cheap because it's a shitshow, and there's always places hiring because 1) they've got Bruce Wayne money to try to make a difference, 2) there's no shortage of places that need to be fixed up a little, and 3) villains are always in the market for new henchpeople.

So you're a broke millennial from any other town in the country, and you have student loans, a job that hasn't kept up with inflation, and your landlord has raised the rent three times this year so far and it's eating up two-thirds of your paycheck. You look for housing on the internet and discover that one-third of your paycheck will get you the mortgage for an actual house in Gotham, a house you own and will never have to deal with your scummy rentjacking landlord again. And Wayne Industries is hiring, and so are sixteen different disaster remediation places, and six staffing services with a sort of weird vibe to them but they offer benefits, since when do temp agencies do benefits, and sure the crime rate is high but the rest of the world's heading in that direction anyway, especially if you're homeless, which you're gonna be in like four months if that jackass your landlord raises the rent one more time, so get in losers, we're going to Gotham!

And you settle into your bigger-than-expected apartment and get a job that brings you a comfortable paycheck and you learn to live with the terrorist attacks and the explosions and the gunfire and the neighbors and the drunken billionaire swimming in the restaurant fountain, and you pay off your student loans, buy a car, suffer a few months' unemployment when your boss goes to jail for trying to assassinate the mayor and then your partner loses their job for a few months when the office gets smothered in a jungle's worth of climbing plants and you develop hospital bills when you both get caught in a hallucinogenic terror gas eruption at the mall, but hey, you'd be homeless by now in any other city, so you live with it.

And then it's a few years later and you're wanting to start a family, but the neighbor three doors down owns pet hyenas and the park was firebombed last week and someone froze all the water pipes and you crashed your car into one of the impromptu ice sculptures and you'd really like your kids to grow up in a normal city where they don't have to receive advice like "don't talk to strange plants."

So you visit one of the social work offices and get yourself a bit of assistance, save up your money, sell your house for the price of a down payment to the sort of incoming fool you were six years ago, and use your polished resume to get yourself a job someplace that doesn't have What To Do If Clown Attack on their safety training syllabus.

You came, you left, and Gotham remains. A shithole.

This is a really well thought out way in what keeps Gotham moving. Sure there’s the people that have been there they’re whole lives, families that go back generations, but these are reasons people move in. The kind of people that want out. And maybe are desperate enough to take that Job hunching.

It’s also weird to see my pithy response circle around over 20 times and end up back on my dash…

When the glimmering hope continues against the tide of the hopeless.

When the glimmering

hope continues against the

tide of the hopeless.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

woke up to my neighbor screaming “louder please, alexa!” and now ring of fire by johnny cash is positively Blasting through the morning air

SING, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC

Objectively the funniest thing to come out of twitter’s sinking ship

The best part is that person did donate $8 to Partners in Health, and so I didn’t delete the tweet.

i love when a character has something terrible happen to them and as a result they see themself as, essentially if not literally, a ghost. and so that means they only can (and have to) do what ghosts do, ie get revenge and then cease to exist. easy as that. but then halfway through this ghost vengeance they realize hey actually i might still be a human person. with human needs. that’s incredibly inconvenient, considering how much i’ve invested in this whole ghost thing

Audrey! I was trying to figure out her backstory recently. Obviously she is a plant with human intelligence like the character that inspired her. I think she was adopted by a plant enthusiast couple who were up for a challenge. They raised her on musicals and she developed a love of singing and musical theater. She intentionally pruned herself to grow into the shape of a person.

when andrew garfield’s peter parker was saving ppl in cars hanging from a bridge and that one little kid is too scared to climb up so he rips off his own mask and says “see? i’m just a guy” like. mcu really truly could never have such a simple and compassionate moment ever

BRENDAN FRASER as RICK O’CONNELL ODED FEHR as ARDETH BAY  THE MUMMY (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

I got an ask that disappeared at some point, about my existential crisis possum mug being wrecked and if I was making another.

this mug, I assume:

I did make a copy of this one, but forgot to take pictures lol. it’s still slowly drying on my shelf

I also carved a canine take on the mug too:

and I made an entirely different existential crisis possum mug just for fun

Extremely Excellent, Very Important Art.

Quotes from the Everything Everywhere All At Once Directors’ commentary, part 1 of 2