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the twink you want obliterated

@satyric-scheming / satyric-scheming.tumblr.com

65 prop warning: this slut known to the state of california to enjoy bruising, electric shocks, and other consensual harm

about

sideblog for horny content and other kinds of oversharing. Invasive questions, kink memes, etc. are welcomed and appreciated in the invasive question receptacle. Please don't follow if we first met at work or school, 'cause that would be weird for me. tagging + kink info under the cut

I find a lot to admire in furry culture, so much so that I sometimes wish I could be part of it, but unfortunately the actual furry part just doesn't do it for me. not even a little. to me anthro art has about as much sex appeal as a pile of [carefully trying to think of an object that is not a popular fetish] roofing tiles. it's not even a squick or a turnoff it's just so distantly related from anything I find erotic that it feels out of place in a sexual context. but god, I wish more artists outside that culture would come up with anything as innovative as sinkdog

Your dom handing you a toy that’s wayyyy too big for you and saying “you’re taking the whole length. You can squirm or cry, you can take as long as you need, and I’m happy to help, but one way or another, you’re taking all of this inside you.”

highlights from a completely unhinged conversation about sex machines we had last night at the bill gates fun domicile (i was told i should repost this on tumblr)

modding a reciprocating saw into a sex toy is already a thing

that is in fact what i’m referencing, yes. i just don’t think it’s a great approach

like, reciprocating saws move pretty damn fast and the way you control the speed is usually with the trigger mechanism, so it’s somewhat difficult to put in a safety limit (to avoid tearing). (this is the benefit of the force feedback mechanism — if the shear force is unexpectedly high you can slow down the machine or even dispense lube if you have that set up.)

theyre also meant to be handheld tools so it’s hard to bolt them down to stuff. and as someone who has used a dremel tool for hours modifying robot skins in a panic before a video shoot, if you’re holding ANY vibrating handheld power tool constantly for an extended period of time your hands are likely to go numb and you might fumble the thing or drop it. the natural instinct is of course to hold on tighter when that happens, fully compressing the trigger and operating the saw at max power at a randomly chosen angle. i don’t like the sound of that at all

reciprocating saws are also just… kind of ugly? theyre not elegant theyre what you use if you need to hack up some drywall in a pinch. less finesse even than a jigsaw. NO precision whatsoever. not sexy!!!

tips for grindr dudes who want to fuck me

  • you have decent odds if you're a 22-40yo top or vers and signal that you're easy to communicate with and chill (distinct from "well-meaning" or "horny") about me being trans
  • odds go up if you're a dom, I can identify at least one nonsexual shared interest, you seem comfortably self-assured, you're aesthetically pleasing to me (hard to unpack, partial overlap with "conventionally attractive"), you're offering a backrub (massage kink is so underrated), you signal commitment to safer sex (e.g. recently tested, on PreP) and/or you have a thick cock
  • I am much pickier about vibes than bodies
  • if your profile is not very informative you'll have to message first
  • your messages must have reasonable grammar and decent spelling.
  • honesty is good. more honesty either 1) lets us avoid an awkward and unsatisfactory meeting or 2) makes me MUCH more interested. all upside, if you're not a creepy fucker
  • insecurity is an instant turnoff
  • message someone else if you're "straight", "curious", or otherwise imply you're not sure you're into dudes and comfortable with this fact about yourself
  • chasers get blocked. be fucking subtle about it or pay me.
  • if your first message to me is "bred??", or you're a cis guy with the display name "Pansexual" (instead of being pan and normal about it), you are not being subtle
  • at least half of y'all are confused about what a trans man is so don't be too disappointed
  • if you immediately launch into a detailed fantasy I assume you plan to treat me like a prop instead of a person
  • I am a sub, I am not your sub. you don't get to give me orders before we've even met, and I'm cautious about what I'll do with a new person.
  • if CNC is one of the first things you mention, I'm going to worry you mean you're into actual rape. not every valid kink is valid to open with
  • rimming is a hard limit for me so if you give it a lot of emphasis I'm going to get nervous
  • all respect to the honest tickling and foot fetishist offering to be gen, sorry I cannot help you

I'm perfectly happy to be on T. I feel healthier on it, and I like everything it's done to me so far; I just want more of that. and I'm quite happy to have had liposuction-only top surgery. I'm not sure I would have gone to the trouble if I were living in a culture that was chill about men having tits, but I'm pretty enthusiastic about my flat chest.

that's all the transition I wanted. I didn't want anything else. but I have to think about it anyway, because I've been on T for 3.5 years, and I still "look like a girl". strangers almost never perceive me as male, which means they almost always perceive me as female, because those are the only options. and I find that almost unbearable.

it might be possible to improve my odds of passing by changing some of my behaviors. I only wear men's clothes, mostly in pretty classic styles - but I could ignore all my aesthetic preferences and optimize every outfit for passing. I've made some effort to adopt more masculine mannerisms - but I could scrutinize my every movement for conformity to a rigid, stereotyped masculinity. I don't wear makeup - but I could spend 20 minutes on elaborate contouring every time I plan to go out in public. I "could", but I won't, because fuck that. For me a large part of the point of physically transitioning is to gain more freedom to play with feminine aesthetics without getting kicked out of the man club completely. gender is a prison and my cell feels claustrophobic enough as it is.

I have small hands and feet, and a generally inconvenient bone structure, but there's nothing I can do about that with acceptable risks. I don't want a hysterectomy or oophorectomy - certainly not before I've had biokids, but preferably never. I don't want body sculpting - my ass is fine as hell, no surgeon has any business getting near it. I don't want facial surgery - I like my face, and I'd prefer to look a bit more masculine, but I don't want to look like a different person.

but I have to consider it anyway, because nearly everyone I meet assumes I'm a woman, and that feels almost unbearable.

what has me worried is that things feel utterly static. I don't feel like I've gotten any noticeable changes in more than a year. even comparing to old photos, I think I look about the same. I guess I have slightly more terminal hairs on my chin (but they're completely invisible even if I haven't shaved in a week). it's possible that I have some kind of biochemical fuckery going on that might be fixable. my dose is fine (0.3mL/week was too much, 0.25mL is about right), and my SHBG/bioavailable T looks fine. I am finally getting my estrogen tested, and if it's high I will try to get on some kind of antiestrogen. but it seems most probable that nothing is "wrong", I just have a very unlucky transition timeline, I can't do anything to hurry it up, and I will eventually pass if I keep waiting - but how long do I have to wait? two more years? three? four? what the hell am I going to do in the interim?

I want the people I meet to immediately recognize me as a man without question. I want to be desirable to gay men (or at least the trans-positive subset thereof.) I want to use the men's bathroom without worrying whether people think I belong there. I want my gender to be more than a polite fiction, where other people agree to use male terms of address (when they remember) and I pretend to ignore that I'm still being treated like a woman in every other way. I want to be regarded as a man in fact, without contest.

gross word vomit about how being perceived as female feels to me under the cut

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Why do people genuinely keep track of their body count? However much or how little sex you've had just be normal about it.

idk it's fun it's like when u can go to that page on a rpg that says how many chickens you kicked

I maintain a spreadsheet so I can compare notes with my fetlife mutual mr. john maynard keynes

(I also find some practical benefit to logging certain information about my sexual encounters - e.g. if there's an STI scare in the polycule it is very useful to know who could have been exposed. and I have Data on exactly how bi I am.)

whenever i see people posting like "i jerk off sooo much... sometimes i masturbate multiple times a week... sometimes even every day -_-" it makes me want to scream, not at them just like in general. that is well within the range of normal you have been lied to by a boatload of stigma around sexual desire and arousal and especially jerking off. as long as you are taking care of your other responsibilities and your body and your relationships it is okay to get off when you are horny and in an appropriate setting 👍

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in the ancestral environment trans men would hunt by firing powerful projectiles from their vagina. inserting a stone and squeezing hard etc. which can decapitate a springbok in an instant.

that's true. and I'm doing my part to keep the tradition alive. i have a vigorous training regimen including a dozen cooms per hour and daily kegel target practice.

what if the number of times you achieved orgasm floated over your head like a hologram and in order to obtain public office you had to keep it respectably low so you didn't look like a perv but not too low so as not to come across as some kind of unrelatable prude and what if gossip magazines tracked the number and you had political aides arguing in the breakroom if it was acceptable to let the number go up if their wrinkly old candidate won the primary? would that make him look like a winner? or would that be gross and tacky? meanwhile all of them have a respectable number in the 100-1000 range as is befitting a professional and they're trying real hard not to think about Jeff's, which is pretty low but several higher than yesterday...