Arguing with an Aries

The hands

this is truly the best video that has ever blessed this website

Before vs After Adoption

[source]

Truthfully the most precious thing I have ever had the privilege to repost.

This makes my heart so happy. ❤️❤️❤️

me: time for sleepy :)

my garbage body: hot hot hot no cold no HOT bad bad, throw up??? no, hungry, NO remember that mistake you made at work. Internalize it. Never forget. Back hurt yes headache YES hot yes roll over r-RA RA RASPUTIN, RUSSIA’s GREATEST LOVE MACHI-

god my neighbor just called me and she’s like… is this your chicken in our driveway… like who else has a chicken in this neighborhood yes it’s my chicken… so i get over there and kylo hen is chilling in their driveway eating some specs and stuff and there’s this actual crowd of people around her and i’m like… hi sorry mb let me get her… and oh my god… they’re like do you need us to call someone?? should we get help?? how should we do this?? do you need a net? like bitch it’s a chicken not a fucking komodo dragon. so i just… i was kind of joking around so i crouched down and patted my thighs and all the chickens are trained to come to me on sight because me = food… so i got down there and went “here girl!! come here!!” and the chicken comes running over and this group of actual adult ass individuals were staring at me like i was the fucking pied piper… and i didn’t know what to say…. so i just kind of walked back to my yard with the chicken following me and none of them moved or said a damn word and i think i literally just convinced them this chicken is trained like a dog…

your chicken’s name is kylo hen

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

Buy these Cool Cat Glasses here > Link

sideways scene (x)

“have you met my friend daniel he walks like this”

IM DYING

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

The way they all fell down.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WINDOW?”

does anyone else constantly get the feeling that you’re running out of time?? and for no reason!! i could be lying in bed in the middle of summer vacation and my mind is like “hurry up!!! before it’s too late!!!” and i’m just like “hurry up and do what?? leave me alone wtf!!!”

Sir that is too big a bite

Don’t tell him what to do

He is causing a scene

I just choked on my sandwich holy shit

one shot, one kill

Damn

me as hell