The reason it’s called the milky way is because the first life forms to come into being in said galaxy were actually cows and milk is the ultimate life force for aliens also the reason why cows get “abducted” all the time is because the mothership is coming back for them so they can return home after a long mission of furthering their species on earth.

I need a girl that I can talk to at 3AM about aliens and conspiracy theories.

God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

Why the FUCK HE FLAT

@clonesome @rowdyhooliganism @mauriel676 @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong @happily-morgan @augustdementhe

Squish

*quietly, from under 6 blankets* what the fuck

oooooooooouuuuuuuu

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Someone you met 2 weeks ago can have better intentions than someone you met 2 years ago. Don’t let time fool you

Nothing big, just a war crime via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2INsbhD

Yes, Yes It Does

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

berries.

berries.

berries.

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

Big Tofu

The Loop