“There’s a cure?!” asked the girl that kills everything she touches.  “Hey shut up we’re perf” replied the girl that makes clouds. 

For real though. Storm has stopped an entire tsunami before. “Makes clouds my ass” she can conjure lightning and tornadoes and is revered as a god in her tribe. She literally changes atmospheric pressure and that’s how she flies. So fuck you. Storm is flawless.

I think you missed the part where the GIRL WHO KILLS EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES wants to NOT KILL EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES and everyone dismisses her incredible misfortune just because the lady who is the AVATAR OF THE STORM won the fucking SUPERPOWER LOTTERY

“Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!” decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.

“There is no cure,” said Johnny Five-Dicks. “There’s nothing wrong with us.”

The last comment literally always cracks me up

i am weeping with laughter

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

one of the most fascinating youtube subcultures imo is the MRE taste testing community…like those folks who get their hands on military ready to eat meals and do unboxings and taste tests of them? because usually theyre perfectly normal and just interested in testing what militaries around the world eat right now. but some of these folks go the extra mile. they go so hard they threaten to destroy themselves with their own hubris. some of these people are flying towards the sun at alarming rates and are going to not only melt their wings but also their 100 year old preserved foods, causing them to plummet to their deaths, their corpses reduced to stewing in the seawater mixed with the remains of the WWII soviet pea soup they brought with them. im watching a dude eat meat from a 1902 british military ration right now. my dude is deadass out here calmly trying to become the last casualty of the fucking second boer war. as an archivist and general antiques lover ive put my hands on some horrifyingly old and dirty things but the idea of ingesting legitimate american civil war hardtack makes me want to get my stomach surgically removed and i am just so FASCINATED by these people who see these military antiques and think “nice, there’s lunch right there”

“the smell is just awful” SIR you are BOILING cow meat that predates the FIRST WORLD WAR you are boiling beef from a cow that existed at the same time as ELIZABETH CADY STANTON sir this can of beef was canned during the fucking DREYFUS AFFAIR what pray tell WHAT did you EXPECT from this TURN OF THE CENTURY CAN OF MEAT

Patient: ..... Therapist, why are you giggling like a lunatic and rubbing your hands together in a manner that could only be described as “gleeful”?

you and me both, Miss Piggy

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

At least some of Superstore’s problems come from the fact that they’ve got Jonah slotted into some kind of dumb rich guy role even though that’s never been his actual character.

It wasn’t his character in season 2, as an example. Or even parts of season 3. All his anxiety and gambling addiction seem barely there. If at all.

lol, that was pretty much the entire thought process behind in full costume dress. “Surely this is all a prank, right?”

Had to label the old trash barrels so the collectors would know to take them

This should be the last post on tumblr before it is shut down.

tumblr is like wading through everyone else’s garbage until you find something good and go “ah. this is good” and take it and display it in your own garbage pile

I think the biggest problem I have with Superstore this season is the lack of physical display of affection between Amy and Jonah and the fact that it doesn’t really feel like their relationship has evolved since they’ve gotten together. The thing we’ve always loved about them is that they acted as a couple before being in one when it came to their attitude towards each other, how they worked well together, balanced each other out, made each other laugh like no other while being a great team and being there emotionally for each other. What they were never really good at was telling how they feel, showing their affection (which is why it got so messy at the end of season 3, because saying things isn’t easy for them). So when they got together, I wasn’t necessarily hoping for a thousand more talks and jokes (those are like an added bonus to a relationship that has them since the beginning) but I was hoping for physical display of affection so that they could find a way, their way, to say to the other (without having to ebzr it out in words) that they cared and loved and had desire and affection. Maybe not a hundred kisses since they’re at work but hugs, hands holding when they leave, hand on a shoulder /waist or on the back, a kiss on the cheek for encouragement or as a thank you…just something to say hey I’m here and we’re together and I love being near you. But we got none of that. And I don’t know why we’re not allowed to see them being affectionate towards each other when they have no reason not to be? When they love each other and have been in a relationship for months?

But it makes me feel underwhelmed about their relationship when I’ve been rooting for it since day one and just want them to be happy together

I agree with all of this.

Yup. It feels like a bait-and-switch. They gave us the thing, but now we .... don’t get the thing?

In an attempt to remember the tune to Old Macdonald, I just ended up with this:

And on that farm he had some ducks

Loudly plotting treason

-George Orwell, Animal Farm

I just guffawed in a goddamn club waiting for the headliner to take the stage. LOUDLY PLOTTING TREASON

SUPERSTORE COMPLAINT.

As someone with $100k+ of student debt, I feel eminently qualified to say that there is no way Jonah has not thought about this literally constantly. I think about my debt constantly and it led me to a career that I love.

I felt like something about this felt wrong, like how is it just now occurring to him? Thanks for saying that.

(these are very nice gifs!)

And the balance of my debt is going to forgiven in six and a half years! Jonah's going to have to pay all his off! The notion that Dina's just pointed out new information to him is ludicrous.

Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

Cancelling plans is okay. Treating yourself to an early night is okay. Taking some time away from your responsibilities is okay. Resigning as Prime Minister is okay. Revoking Article 50 is okay.

It’s called self care.

This is Shibam, Yemen

Also called “The Chicago of the Desert.”

Guess when those high-rises were built?

If you guessed the 1970s, you guessed wrong.

Way wrong.

Shibam is an estimated 1,700 years old.

The minaret of the Al-Muhdhar Mosque at the nearby city of Tarim is 53 metres (175 ft) high, and recognized as one of the tallest earth structures in the world.

What the entire hell. 

Dec 4, 2018 // Dec 10, 2018 #he jump

This is not normal.