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Iclarion

@saraialbuja

Whatever it is I am, a bit of flesh, a bit of breath, a bit of soul

When tumblr collapses I will email you all a monthly newsletter with my diary entries and make collages to simulate my reblogs. and I will want you ladies to do the same and also possibly send back a heart to "like" it

have you ever loved a lyric so much that when you hear it feels like your heart is trying to burst out of your body

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you need to be earnest. you need to tell people that you love them. you need to speak on how you’re feeling honestly. you need to be sentimental. you need to stop letting the fear of other people laughing at you have so much control over how you express yourself. you need to get over yourself. you need to be embarrassing but true.

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need to lay in bed and be kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and—

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

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“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.” (mikko harvey)

listening to music with headphones is so awesome especially when it shoots straight into your brain and you can pick out all its little layers like sandwich ingredients

love when you stop a cat from doing something and instead of understanding that they shouldnt be doing that theyre just like. ah sorry my good sir you seem to have interrupted me. no worries let me just shimmy past you and get a taste of that pan of hot oil. please.

i hate you breathlessness i hate you brain fog i hate you dizziness i hate you tremors i hate you joint pain i hate you fatigue i hate you racing heart