just once i wanna put the blade of my sword under a pretty boy’s chin and tilt their head up so i can see both fear and arousal in their eyes is that too much to ask

I want George Washington replaced with Dolly Parton on the dollar bill and I want people to call it a Dolly bill and no sir I have not been smoking this idea is reasonable and sound thank you and good day.

THE MUMMY year 1999 | director Stephen Sommers

“Wait for the tongue” [source]

Ezra the service dog gets a well deserved break to go to meet her favorite character Stitch

Erza

apparently this is a thing in Japan too, and it gets translated as “Mundane Halloween.” There are loads of photos online and they’re all so good?????

“Person going to work on a windy day"

“Woman who’s having her bang cut but the hairdresser is nowhere to be found"

"Zookeeper in charge of the pandas"

oh my god two words in that just UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

All hope is lost so quickly I can’t stop laughing.

danish tv is the best thing ever

“Okay :(”

He went straight to Acceptance. He didn’t even go through the five stages of grief. He just started at Acceptance.

What do they want her to do, force feed Michael Myers Activia until he shits himself to death?

i do whatever the fuck i want to do

Via @iamdylancurran (Twitter)

fuck..

What..the..fuck, Google???

I’m surprised that this post doesn’t contain a link to turn off all of these settings (maybe another version of this post does, who knows)

Go to https://myaccount.google.com/activitycontrols and this will take you to a page which states what information Google is currently tracking. Each section has a blue slider next to it. Click it and it will come up with a confirmation box, scroll through it and select “pause” and you should be good to go.

I would go to this link regularly to make sure the sliders haven’t reset, too.

season 1 episode 1 of the muppet show outclasses anything snl has ever done

UNMUTE THIS 💀💀

I’m actually fucking dead. I just… I can’t stop watching this. That fucking triple take at the end gets me every time

Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead

Oh my gosh… Friend…

Pop Culture References in Shrek 2 (1/?)

Click the gifs for more information

OH MY GOD, IM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS ON MY DASH.

I´VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT FOR AGES. 

I C A N N O T breathe

THAT LAST LIKE .01 SECOND

OH MY G OD