Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.” Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?” Client: “Open what?” Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?” Client: “My…my…?” Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?” Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.” Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?” Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?” Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?” Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.” Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?” Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?” Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?” Client: “My what?” Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?” Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.” Me: “An error message?” Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.” Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?” Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.” Client: “Move it?” Me: “Yes. Move it.” Client: “My e-mail!”
mer-squared
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
New Years Eve (2017) will be the only day when every adult was born in the 1900s, and every minor was born in the 2000s.
this thread is the absolute holy grail of repeated self owns
blackpanthersdick
This thread is making me wet
bwellesley
filthywhitebitch
“I voted for a guy who wants to take rights away from people I love and got backlash for it :(”
“I voted for a Vice President who caused an AIDS outbreak as governor of Indiana while also supporting conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT legislation and now my gay son won’t talk to me :-(”
It’s your parents’ fault for raising you that way, it’s your fault for staying that way.
cobaltdays-deactivated20210208
When you’re at church and you hear the Grindr message sound and see multiple men with their wives and children reach into their pockets to silence their phones
Time for Childhood for you 90s/Early 2000s kids
Born in 1999 and remember all of this. Particularly the dangerous scooters.
stappls
My childhood
Damn it I’m old. Wtf do kids use now?
watsonsparker
prettybluescarf
[discovered]
[immediately mocked by scientists]
me as a discovery
THEY’RE ROASTING HIM
David: *plays a secret chord* The Lord: nice! You: meh
me: man i sure am hungry but i dont know what to eat
brain: then just fucking eat nothing
me: understandable have a good day
please look at my cat’s feet
ankle tattoos? lol what a hipster
there’s a copy of the declaration of independence on the bulletin board in my western civ class
today while my teacher was out of the room i stole it and put this up in its place
my teacher laughed and asked who took it but nobody told on me so i got away with it
i did it i stole the declaration of independence
macklemore-fujisaki
nic cage is proud
