Untitled

im fucking crying my therapist has these little mamushka dolls in her office and the first one is so pretty like

and then it just goes downhill from there

* Goes on date *

* looks around *

“I’m sorry, will the dog in your profile photo be joining us?”

why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”

When you find a bra that fits

I hope that in 2016 I will at least stop ruining my own life

me when i swallow

I love planners, highlighters, giant calendars, nice ball point pens, to do lists, & anything else that gives me the illusion that I’m getting my life together

chews faster than i blink….

I’m the guy he skips

Pfffftt

Gay sex is weird.

can the united states just chill for one day

bitch the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake

it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point

When u see that bitch with the big tits from yesterday

Renoirs (via renoirs)