no matter how normal i get and no matter how much happier i become there will always be a suicidal sixteen year old self harming inside of me :(
“i think there’s something about being a young woman that feels very murderous. that’s what i was trying to get with a song like ‘dream girl evil.’ it can be dangerous for people to think you’re incredibly nice. when you get, ‘you’re an angel,’ that seems like such a high place to fall from. when i see messy or violent or terribly behaved women, especially young women, there’s a liberation. to not have to try and survive by being good.”
— florence welch on her song “dream girl evil”
toothachebench-deactivated20221
eveninglesbian-deactivated20180
I am so afraid that I am going to waste so much of my life being sad when I should be living. And not just living, but living vibrantly and loudly. I want to read more, travel more, learn more and talk to more people without feeling held back by the confines of my body. I no longer want to feel like I am drowning, sinking, falling or being swallowed up whole by something monstrous. I want to feel alive, lovely and brilliant, even for a moment
realising you will always be her opportunity to rebel or her experiment never who she dreamt of having as a child or who she wants to bring home to her family
unsure if im just in a silly goofy mood or it’s my meds but i am so weirdly happy and i am only going to listen to poker face by lady gaga for another hour !!!
stop why did one of my closest friend my psychologist and the girl i’m talking to all think i had feelings for * 🤔🤔🤔
there is no way that i went into lockdown as a fifteen year old now i am in my sixth lockdown thanks australia !! and graduating high school in less than 3 months absolutely deranged and a couple months after that i will be a fully legal adult in university ????????????