my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

okay so

yes

i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you

Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?

yes

I wonder why

Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.

asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this

want an update?

ofc you do

but i'm too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you've ever been in.

now multiply the awkwardness by 100

first of all i'm just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing

an example of what i would wear as my friend's fake bf:

and as my boyfriend's actual bf:

when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take

sooo yeah my bf told his parents he's gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine... then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they're in the matrix) and said

"and uh. why is...he here?"

i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son's boyfriend

:3

i've never seen two people look more angry before but they weren't gonna say anything because they had other family members over

the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i'm not very religious now, but that's something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss

aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn't stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don't think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf's parents

update two electric boogaloo ig

i have a girlfriend now🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Be the fucking chaos you want to see in the world.

This was a fucking ride start to finish and I want more

moment of silence for everyone who relied on AI chat bots for research when it’s going around saying shit like this.

[image description: search that reads “country in africa that starts with K”. the featured snipped is from www.emergentmind.com and reads “While there are 54 recognized countries in Africa, none of them begin with the letter "K". The closest is Kenya, which starts with a "K" sound, but is actually spelled with a "K" sound. It's always interesting to learn new trivia facts like this.” /end ID]

Got mine to hallucinate an entire essay on the risks, process and ethics of a fictional medical procedure

@vague-magnus-archives

Bone turner.

citationless behavior

...Still trying to figure out where this came from. (Besides [duh] Germany.)

(ETA: Oh, this can NOT be left in the tags.) :)

#we choose to take out the trash #not because it is easy #but because it is hard

as time goes on im realizing that describing your gender is tbh kinda similar to the naming of jellicle ca- hey wait no stay with me for a second here okay. im holding your hands and looking directly into your eyes now. listen to me. i have a public facing gender. a more specific and personal gender that i can share with my closest friends and family. and an innermost unique gender that only i can ever truly know. gender is just like a jellicle cats

adhd is so embarrassing ur basically like “I have to have fun right the fuck now or I’m throwing myself off the roof” 90% of the time and you also have very little control over this

This was the single most important thing for me to start understanding re: my undiagnosed ADHD, and it's the thing no one tells you except other ADHD sufferers. My brain's reward system is so broken that boredom rapidly becomes indistinguishable from a depressive episode. There's no healthy, normal ability to experience something as simply being a little dull--as soon as my brain isn't getting regular hits of stimulation, I start clawing at the walls. This is what makes working in a structured environment and initiating tasks so difficult for me, not malice or other character flaws.

What makes it worse is that, if you're like me, when you were growing up, the only way your authority figures knew how to perceive this was "they're just goofing off," and therefore, would deprive you of anything remotely stimulating until you'd done your work, thinking that -- if it worked like it would with an NT kid, you'd do your work faster so you could get back to having fun.

Instead, they just pulled the plug on any tiny bit of power you had running to your necessary brainwaves and put you into longterm shutdown mode.

But then....you grew up...with only that method for coping ingrained into you. So no matter how much you may know logically, now, that you have to have the "fun/interesting/challenging" cord plugged in for your brain to have any juice at all, you feel guilty for having to plug that in FIRST instead of as a reward for doing Adulting. So you just sit there, unplugged, not getting anything done.

Or maybe that's just me.

even the most supportive and well meaning people in my life struggle to understand how painful lack of stimulation is, how immobilizing executive dysfunction is, and how i cannot feel satisfaction the way they do. the number of times i’ve been told “won’t it feel so nice to accomplish it and have it off your plate?” and having to explain that i don’t feel relief or pride when i finish a task, just exhaustion, and that’s part of why it’s so hard to even start it

T H I S

I relate to this so much! I too occasionally find myself wondering what the original reactions of classic stories were like.

DS9 is the best trek series

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

stop asking neil gaiman to confirm/deny things and just violently project your own issues onto the characters the way God intended 

Finally got to finish painting this bad boy after the most difficult couple months. I'll get to updating my blog properly, I do have a stupid amount of things backlogged .... I think lol xD

Artwork (c)  @cince-arts

not to be problematic but i literally do not give a shit about age gaps when dating vampires. they thirst for your blood. "but it's predatory!!!!" yeah. it is. "they're preying on you!!!" they're vampires. they do that. "it's a power imbalance!!!!!!" what part of vampires are you not getting

they eat people and can turn into bats and crawl around on walls, lizard fashion, and can hypnotize you with your eyes. a) the age gap is not the creepy part and b) the creep factor is kinda the appeal

they don’t age. that’s part of the horror of it actually. would you accept eternal life, if you can never progress? can never grow or change? you’ll live forever, eternal youth, but frozen exactly as you are now. you will never become the person you’re meant to be. you are trapped in the mind of a 17-year-old forever. also ‘theoretically old if you disregard the fact that he’s a vampire’ doesn’t even make the top 20 worst things about edward cullen list. girl he’s mormon. prioritize

I was nodding along with this the whole time until that last sentence, which hit me like a folding chair

I'm generally of the opinion that trying to resurrect prematurely cancelled shows is like necromancy—odds are they'll come back wrong.

Except for Galavant. Any Galavant revivial will be funnier the longer it stayed cancelled.

Tags pass peer review, etc, because they SO perfectly capture the spirit of the show.

we are in a media literacy crisis

friendly reminder that characters don't need to be saints to be entertaining. and telling a story does not mean endorsement. art does not need to be all about morally good people.

IDK if this was meant as hyperbole but it's literally true:

Adult literacy is low.

Child literacy is low.

Information literacy has shifted dramatically in the last decade, but reputable information sources like research journals and factual news reporting have been unable to keep pace.

We are genuinely in a crisis of media literacy, with ever fewer genuinely factual resources available in the style and language used by contemporary audiences.

It may sound condescending, but we genuinely need to remind people, or worse, explain to them for the first time that art is not evidence of real world behaviour.

So, thank you, for this reminder. Genuinely.

You're correct:

Art does not need to feature exclusively morally pure characters. Art is not proof of the creator's secret, violent desires.

Trump indicted for Jan 6th

This is the first thing I saw coming out of anesthesia. What a Good Day.

[id: the Scrooge meme edited so that thebibliosphere is scrooge and cryptotheism is the little bunny outside his window. thebibliosphere says, “You there, boy! What day is it?” And cryptotheism replies “Why, it’s Trump indicted for January 6th Day, sir!” the bibliosphere exclaims, “Then I haven’t missed it!” end id]

It could be the fentanyl but this is the fucking funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

being a dom is only cool if people like you. otherwise it's super embarrassing. if you're a sub you can be like "ahhh i wanna get fucked superrr hard >w<" and it's kind of endearing. if you're a dom and you say "i want to FUCK someone.. who will be mommys little KITTY today .." and no one actually wants to have sex with you, you may as well kill yourself. because there's no coming back from that

callback to the time I wrote literal pages of lore and worldbuilding, including a universe with a creation story, afterlife metaphysics, and a timeline featuring the rapture, a divine astral plane turf war, and the introduction of gods and magic to the modern mortal world

for a kink scene where I roleplayed as a sexy demon lady

I workshopped my character's name, voice and personality and wrote an entire universe to hold her. for a scene that lasted about an hour. if that's not DMing but for sex I don't know what is

your honor ive been murdered

Good news: At that level of prep I don't think it's improv anymore.

Bad news: turned on by amateur theater

Good news: there are so many of us amateur theater nerds in the world

and now we're back to being pursued by a bear