I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

“We met on a dating site twelve years ago. I sent her a message saying: ‘I want to let you know up front that I’m in a wheelchair, because I can’t hide it.’ And she wrote back: ‘Why? Is it bright yellow?’”

Well… since a thread blew up on twitter about me being a lesbian I thought I’d officially just reintroduce myself to those of you who don’t know. My name’s Becky. I created this blog when I was 13 with the help of a few girls. Honestly, it was a joke that kind of blew up. Somehow I brought joy to girls and boys all across the world (”justgirlythings” but literally any man or woman could laugh/relate to this blog) and that’s all I really could’ve asked for when creating this. The above picture is me and my fiancée Chelsi. 

I’d like to thank you all for coming along on this journey with me for the past decade. 

picture being with the girl you love for the rest of your life. meeting her, dating, skipping class to go to the seaside on nice days, just doing all the fun things that you should when you’re young and in love.

picture moving in together, the thrill when you get your keys and the excitement you both feel when you walk in for the first time and know you’re walking into YOUR appartment.

going furniture shopping, arguing over which colour scheme would look best in your bedroom and which sofa you should buy.

(she wants the ugly one, she says it has ‘character’. you think it’s just ugly, but the light in her eyes when you agree to buy it means more than getting a nice couch.)

baking muffins and cakes together, not without getting flour all over both of you, and going door to door greeting your neighbours, “hi, me and my girlfriend just moved in to the flat downstairs,” and they respond with smiles and offers for tea and biscuits, or showing you around, “look out for mary in the bottom flat, she’ll try to set you up with her grandson!”

(granted, mary next door tries to set you up with her grandson, but once you introduce her to your girl, she loudly says that she wouldn’t want to break up such sweethearts. she’s lovely really, promises to make you both sweaters.)

picture going on holidays together and not having to part ways when you come back. shaking the sand out of your clothes, hanging up all the magnets and postcards all over your tiny kitchen, laughing and kissing all the freckles on her face brought out by the sun.

during the summer going on hikes, and roadtrips, and picnics, and camping, and community barbeques, and garden parties, and long walks, to forests and seasides and parks.

And in the winter, getting hot chocolates and going window shopping for things you definitely can’t afford, she’s cold so you give her your jacket even tho you’re cold too. She’s shorter than you so the jacket is huge and she looks so cute in it. On new years eve, go up to the roof and at midnight you kiss the only resolution you guys are making is that nothing will ever change

• 12 years ago, I sat in a nearby church abashedly asking god to help me get over my feelings for a girl

• 6 years ago, my mom & I both cried as I told her I was dating a woman, a coming out confession long overdue

• tonight, my son & I are having a dance party while my wife hums along in the kitchen cooking us dinner

Life can be so sweet, if only we can hold on & find the courage to be our authentic selves.

this deadass saved my whole year

love is REAL

my friend forwarded me this and don’t know which bit to zero in on?

Bessie (2015), dir. Dee Rees

girl crush

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

Friendly reminder for wlw who are still new to the community and your feelings, I just wanted to tell you that they’re valid. If you want to just kiss girls and cuddle them all day everyday that’s normal. It’s also normal to want to have sex with girls. That’s not nasty. You’re not evil and going to hell for having those thoughts. Your feelings are valid and so are you

my dream is to become a knight and go to rescue a princess. there is a dragon guarding the castle. she yells no men allowed! I take off my helmet. “I am no man!” the dragon let’s me in. I find the princess. she asks me what took so long. I say “the systemic oppression of women kept me from achieving the rank of knight sooner, my princess.” she laughs. I became a knight for her. she knows this because we were lovers before she was trapped in this castle. she told her dragon friend to whisk her away so that she wouldn’t have to marry a man. she left me a letter that said “become a knight and come find me my love. only then can we be wed.” this is because of the law where if you rescue a princess from a dragon castle you get to marry her. I ask “how am I supposed to find her?” I flip the letter over. it says: “I went to the castle where we first banged.” I know exactly where to go. because it’s my castle. I am the queen of the neighboring kingdom. also a knight. also sexy. we get married. we unite the kingdoms. we both carry swords at all times.

And that’s my lesbian fantasy.

so like okay, I don’t know why I’ve been obsessively thinking about the concept of “gaydar” but I have. 

Actually no it’s because a straight family member used the term like “oh I have really great gaydar” and it made me feel really gross and it took me like a full hour to realize why. When heterosexual people say that, it feels like they’re bragging about their ability to clock us, you know? like a straight person is telling me that they can spot us queers at 50 paces and i’m immediately going to be uncomfortable with that, whereas when other queer folks talk about being able to spot each other it’s a tool for survival. 

Like here’s the thing right? being able to tell is important sometimes. Here’s an example: 

A couple summers ago I was in a very very small town in Nova Scotia, Canada (like 6 buildings small) and I met a woman in the library who was probably a little older than my actual mother. She was there most days using the wifi because she lived across the street in an apartment without internet. We sat at the same table a few times and spoke briefly about life in passing and after a few of these not-talking-about-gay-stuff convos I was pretty sure she was a part of the lgbtq community and I slipped in a casual pronoun re: an ex and she just looked at me, stopped completely and said “oh thank fuck, I thought so.” and instantly started talking about her girlfriend, it was like this huge wave of relief washed over both of us because we were in a small rural town and both hovering in this really queer space and unable to talk about it. Anyway she was really rad and took me to the closest big town to buy me a tim hortons coffee because she found it reprehensible that I had been in canada for more than 3 weeks already and hadn’t ever had it. Almost instantly it was like “oh okay we have this thing in common that other people may not be cool with but we can actually exist and not hide shit without the fear of violence or anger”

but when it’s a straight person they’re pretty much just letting you know that they can spot the fact that you seem “abnormal” to them like great thanks for letting me know. 

cute things about girls!

- their skin glows, and sometimes there’s glitter!

- they share their favorite songs with you!

- sometimes you see a girl and she’s so beautiful you can’t believe she’s real!

- they always smell nice! whether it’s their shampoo, lip gloss, body lotion or perfume!

- when they hug you everything is okay again!

- when the sunlight shines on their hair and eyes and they look like angels!

- they paint each other’s nails! they send each other heartfelt gifts! they compliment each other!

- girls can pull off any style! dresses, suits, flannel, bomber jackets… all pretty!

- when they sing or hum along to the radio!

- they blush easily!

- they look great with both short and long hair, and with any hair color! 

- when you need help they’re always there!

- being with them, even though you’re both doing nothing, makes your day!

- spending time with them is so healing!

- they make other girls feel amazing about their body and talents despite having their own insecurities!

- rosy cheeks! pretty eyes! soft hair! marshmallow heart!

- they are so strong! they stand up for themselves! they protect each other! they fight for what they believe in!

- they give you confidence! they help you overcome your fears! they are a role model to you!

- very generous when sharing their food with you!

- their smiles are so sweet! their laughs make your heart melt!

- they are so pretty and kind and great! every girl is a work of art, the world is so lucky to have them!

Honestly??

Girls questioning their sexuality? Pure and wholesome.

Girls who are confident in their sexuality but haven’t come out? Pure and wholesome.

Girls who are confident in their sexuality and have come out? Pure and wholesome.

Trans/nonbinary/intersex sapphic girls? Pure and wholesome.

A-spec sapphic girls? Pure and wholesome.

Sapphic women of colour? Pure and wholesome.

All sapphic girls are pure and wholesome and you can’t tell me otherwise!! 💞💞

Rock and Riot  16.25  

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