people are like "no one wants to work anymore" when every job application is like upload your resume and cover letter. okay now manually type out your resume and cover letter in our text boxes. okay now answer these 10 riddles. okay now take a rorschach test. okay now upload a photo of your childhood bedroom and explain the relationship between its layout and the adult you are today. okay now show us your youtube watch history. okay now define the color "red." okay now walk into a patch of poison ivy and take a selfie of you holding up a paper saying "i <3 ivy." okay now wave your hands in the air if you just don't care. that one was a trick to cull the applicants who don't care. okay now choose a loved one to sacrifice. great! thank you for submitting your application we will not be calling you
A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. “That’s Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe,” they announced. The neighbor was surprised and asked, Where on Earth did you get those names?
Oh, those are their last names, the owner said. Their first names are Cat.
In ancient Rome, there were 4 kinds of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.
Poison IV would just make you itchy.
Something I'm unexpectedly appreciating about tumblr is how there's something of a speed limit.
Open, scroll, reblog, tee-hee have a good time, close.
Some time later: open, scroll, reblog, why does this already have my name on it, oh goddamnit I'm caught up. Time to go find some non-digital enrichment.
It's not like the Other Apps that have endless content! It protects me from myself!
English is making less and less sense by the day. Why is 'willn't' not a word, but 'won't' is? English has no consistency. Like I get that it comes from 'wonot' but still. Willn't could have been such a good word.
You know what, fuck it, I don't *want* some frivolous, artisanal, lighter-than-air computer with no customizability, no upgradeability, no reparability, no ports, and a lifetime of *maybe* 3 years if you're lucky. I want a fucking great BEAST of a computer that's designed to last a minimum of 50 years, with ports up the wazoo and optional drives for every kind of media! I want modular components that you can drop in a bog for a year, dry them off, and have them still work fine! I want them to make a noise like "ker-chunk!" when you slide them into place! I want a switch that you pull to turn it on! And I don't want software that constantly forces you to get a pointless, cosmetic "upgrade" every few months either! I want durability! I want longevity! I want satisfying haptics! I want Silicon Valley to go fuck itself!
It's called X because you should close it and go outside
