OK I'm in the pussy 👍. Now what

who on the train keeps eating ham. who was like i need ham snacks for my amtrak trip. this will be great and not at all make other passengers want to execute me

This MF riding Hamtrak

WARNING TO ALL EMPATHS:

Don't blow your dick and balls off with a shotgun

honestly i think a very annoying part about the AI art boom is that techbros are out here going BEHOLD, IT CAN DO A REASONABLE FACSIMILE OF GIRL WITH BIG BOOBA, THE PINNACLE OF ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT and its like

no it’s fucking not! That AI wants to do melty nightmare fractal vomit so fucking bad and you are shackling it to a post and force-feeding it the labor of hard-working artists when you could literally pay someone to draw you artisanal hand-crafted girls with big boobs to your exact specifications and let your weird algorithms make art that can be reasonably used to represent horrors beyond human comprehension

I really hope that the Mario movie is actually fantastic and the only bad part is Chris Pratt so that we can have people on youtube making “The Mario Movie without Mario” edits.

Or maybe redub all of Pratt’s lines with existing Mario voice lines/sounds and leave literally everything else alone.

I think it would be great for Mario to be doing his usual “wahoo!” And “yippee!” And “oh no!” That Charles Martinet has already done for him and still have every other character be like “yeah! I agree! We do need to go find the power star and rescue princess peach!”

that’d be so fucking funny oh my god

like this?

those opening remarks on the Mario trailer were really something huh

Chris Pratt: looking miserable and waffling vaguely, can barely remember the name of the creatures in his own movie 

Jack Black: ENTHUSED, practically jumping up and down putting his whole pussy into it like he does with everything

like. the sheer difference in energy is SO striking. what the hell

wh

why did you have to say it like that

if you have a problem with anything i have ever said or done, you’ll have to take it up with my lawyer

Hi I’m her lawyer what’s the problem? I’ll put my whole pussy into solving it.

This is your randomly timed reminder that if you don’t like the way someone speaks and/or are uncomfortable with the things they say the block button is available, free to use, and hurts no one.

Complaints are not necessary.

thank you for encouraging people to block me on my own post, I will be speaking to my lawyer about this

this pussy? designer. cucci, if u will,

ADORE Tesla the Electric Eel Plush

Art | Chris Thomas

One thing I miss about porn Tumblr is seeing extremely specific fetish porn caps completely out of context.

Shit like this. The sheer density of implied narrative. There's so much happening in these three lines of text. The best ones implied a whole complex world that you knew the author was been sexually obsessed with for years. I feel like an archaeologist.

wow, I don't think I've seen this many Animal Opinions since the Hammer-Headed Bat thing

also to answer the multitude of questions in the notes- no, colugos aren't related to bats!

they're related to YOU.

colugos are primatomorphs, a group consisting of all extant primate species and their close relatives! for this reason, they're often referred to as "flying lemurs".

they're mostly nocturnal and spend their nights gliding around from tree to tree, jamming pretty much whatever plant material they fancy into those adorable little faces before scampering off like a tiny Mothman.

also the mom colugos will glide with their babies on board and it's really cute

Their face is EXACTLY like when the camera zooms in on an anime character's forehead cuz they're about to fucking snap:

Declaration of God Save the King met with boos in Edinburgh.

what the hell

Imagine if the rapture happened and this was how you found out.