@unpretty

it’s DIRT

unmute for comically aggrieved farmer

and then i hold the clock button down. firmly, and with finality.

"shhhh. it will be over in a moment. shhhhhh. forget. forget."

and then i hold the

clock button down. firmly, and

with finality.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Couldn't stop thinking about that tweet, I love the idea of a god promoting his faith.

The face of a man who has heard enough in 15 seconds of dialogue to give you roughly 7 Diagnoses and assign you 1 Repressed Sexuality

D&D has become so much more fun since it clicked for me that I'm not the character, I'm the writer in charge of the character

If you're the character, bad rolls and bad calls reflect badly on you. You want to Win because that means you're doing D&D right, and if things go wrong, it's because you're doing it wrong.

If you're the writer, your number one job is to do things to your character that the character does not like because that gives them the chance to be interesting.

Likewise, running a campaign becomes SO MUCH EASIER when you realize that the people sitting around your table aren't just your audience, they're your writers room for this show you're all making together and you can invite them in on the creative process so you don't have to bear the burden alone.

hey what the entire FUCK happened to tumblr's balls???

I should have clarified. I was talking about these (deez?):

WHY are they OVAL they should be SPHERICAL

Oh no I fear it is your balls that need a physician's care my friend

OH NO--

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

@thebibliosphere have you seen this? You need to see this.

Thank you to the multiple people tagging me in this. This is delicious delicious food for my ongoing hyperfixation 😅

Getting into a new hobby like

BUY ALL THE THINGS!

INVEST ALL THE TIME!

READ NONE OF THE INSTRUCTIONS!

dude seeing these Mega high quality images of the surface of mars that we now have has me fucked up. Like. Mars is a place. mars is a real actual place where one could hypothetically stand. It is a physical place in the universe. ITS JUST OUT THERE LOOKING LIKE UH IDK A REGULAR OLD DESERT WITH LOTS OF ROCKS BUT ITS A WHOLE OTHER PLANET? 

LIKE THIS JUST LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE A PERSON’S BACKYARD. LIKE YEA A LITTLE DUSTY MAYBE THERE WAS A SANDSTORM BUT THAT’S COOL I’M JUST GONNA WALK DOWN TO THE STORE P S Y C H YOU’RE ON MARS BICH!

i hate to be rude and intrude on this post but we have decent pictures of the surface Venus too! 

#venus has a low render distance

See also below Saturn’s moon, Titan. Mars has a blue horizon at sunset so it looks even more Earth-like in this image:

Source

Also: Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko

So it’s not quite snowing on Churyumov–Gerasimenko, unfortunately; the white specks are artifacts of cosmic rays impinging on the CCDs in the camera, as well as a rotating starfield in the background (since the comet is spinning). A few specks could be dust. But, holy shit, that’s the surface of a comet. That’s a spot you could in theory cling to for dear life sit down on. The Cliffs of Comet 76p are a place. 

If that isn’t the neatest shit I don’t know what is.

"Good morning, darling"

IT’S ALMOST HALLOWEEN

Also, no frogs were harmed, the pink one was painted with magical frog paint but they’re all unbelievably pissed off anyway so I guess harm was caused

Instagram / Twitter

Gentle reminder to anyone able to make it to any protests coming up please practice proper protest etiquette both for your own safety and that of others.

Wear a mask, cover any tattoos, and don't wear clothing with recognizable logos or branding. Don't take pictures of yourself or others. Don't talk to cops.

Protests aren't a fun event to post about on social media, we are trying to make an real change. Be safe and responsible

the way americans talk about protest marches on here is insane. Like is this actually necessary in the usa or is it just tumblr neurosis?

Oh, it's definitely necessary.

anyone who thinks surveillance is a purely american phenomenon is a fool. every state is a surveillance state.

Scavengers Reign 1.02 "The Storm"

Uh oh bestie. Turns out, if you want the rewards of being pillow princess, you have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of telling the service top what you want 😔

KUNG POW PENIS

wow, witchers and succubi are taking drugs and having sex marathons together? that is so sick and twisted. someone tell me the location so i can go investigate these claims thoroughly.

he's built like an unsecured ikea bookshelf and brother, am i a toddler