umbrellanumber5-deactivated2021
.
.
This.
This is why people who stay in my life are neurodiverse like me!
this!! I swear I lost like all my friendships bc of this, like I had a group of friends in hs that one day I realized "huh I haven't talked to this people in a while" and popped in to say hi and they were all awkward?? because they hadn't seen me in a while?? and that's when I realized that friendship works different for them?? I was like yeah I haven't talked to you in like four months but it's not like I've forgotten about y'all why would anything change, and they were all like we haven't talked to you in four months why are you here again acting like nothing happened? and it was really confusing for me
YEAH! THAT!
Also I have a thing where I just put the people on pause. If I don’t see them or contact them, my brain kinda put them in stasis. I don’t think about them nor misses them, and I stay on what I last knew about them (how they look, what they study/work). So when we meet again I’m like “wait, you’ve aged?” and I have the same familiarity with them thanI had before.
Anyway all my mutuals I haven't messaged in forever - this is why
oh my gods this makes so much sense??? there are people who i haven’t talked to at all for literally over a year and we’ll pick up like nothing happened, but for their people it’s just like...... falling apart but onesided???? i think we’re still on the same level but actually we’re strangers??
Ohhhhhh
OHHHHHHHHH....
Ok but listen, on the other side of this, as a person who moved hundreds of miles away from everyone i knew and then became a hermit for several years, it was SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF to get in contact with an old friend and have him be like, "my friendship levels do not degrade, so in my mind we are still awesome close buddies" and i almost fkn cried. I thought he would be mad or would have moved on because i had slacked on my reaching out to him and staying in touch and doing all the friendship things. But NOPE. 800 miles of distance, depression, and life changing circumstances didnt steal our friendship and i am SO GRATEFUL.
Remember who checks on you when you get quiet, those are your people.
NEIL GAIMAN'S CHIVALRY WINS THE EISNER AWARD
Very happy to announce that NEIL GAIMAN'S CHIVALRY won the Eisner Award for Best Adaptation from Another Medium at last night's ceremony at San Diego Comic Con. Presenter was Batman producer Michael Uslan.
We're incredibly grateful and pleased, and no one is more surprised than I am.
This book is for all ages, it is gentle, it is a fairy story, it is about an old lady and a knight in shining armor, and the kind of King Arthur who lives in my dreams and not in blockbuster movies, and I am so grateful it has been so well-received.
I waited decades for this.
I cannot thank you all enough.
Neil Gaiman's Chivalry is based on an original short story by Neil Gaiman. Adapted and illustrated by me. Lettering by Todd Klein and me. Published by Dark Horse Comics. Editor Daniel Chabon.
Photo courtesy Bob Clampett Humanitarian Award winner Scott Dunbier.
I'm so proud of Colleen for making this.
bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL
“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”
My mom learned it because she figured she’ll go deaf when she gets old
My family went holiday SCUBA diving once, and a couple of Deaf guys were in the group. I was really little and I spent most of the briefing overcome with the realization that while the rest of us were going to have regulators in our mouths and be underwater fairly soon, they were going to be able to do all the same stuff and keep talking.
The only reason some form of sign language is not a standard skill is ableism, as far as I can tell.
emorawrites
For anyone interested in learning, Bill Vicars has full lessons of ASL on youtube that were used in my college level classes.
and here’s the link to the website he puts in his videos:
Update: you guys this is an amazing resource for learning asl. Bill Vicars is an incredible teacher. His videos are of him teaching a student in a classroom, using the learned vocabulary to have conversations.
Not only is the conversation format immersive and helpful for learning the grammar, but the students make common mistakes which he corrects, mistakes I wouldn’t have otherwise know I was making.
He also emphasizes learning ASL in the way it’s actually used by the Deaf community and not the rigid structure that some ASL teachers impose in their classrooms
His lesson plans include learning about the Deaf community, which is an important aspect of learning ASL. Knowing how to communicate in ASL without the knowledge of the culture behind it leaves out a lot of nuances and explanations for the way ASL is.
Lastly, his lessons are just a lot of fun to watch. He is patient, entertaining, and funny. This good natured enthusiasm is contagious and learning feels like a privilege and not a chore
And it’s all FREE. Seriously. If you’ve ever wanted to learn ASL
Reblogging again because everyone should, always
bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL
“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”
My mom learned it because she figured she’ll go deaf when she gets old
My family went holiday SCUBA diving once, and a couple of Deaf guys were in the group. I was really little and I spent most of the briefing overcome with the realization that while the rest of us were going to have regulators in our mouths and be underwater fairly soon, they were going to be able to do all the same stuff and keep talking.
The only reason some form of sign language is not a standard skill is ableism, as far as I can tell.
emorawrites
For anyone interested in learning, Bill Vicars has full lessons of ASL on youtube that were used in my college level classes.
and here’s the link to the website he puts in his videos:
Update: you guys this is an amazing resource for learning asl. Bill Vicars is an incredible teacher. His videos are of him teaching a student in a classroom, using the learned vocabulary to have conversations.
Not only is the conversation format immersive and helpful for learning the grammar, but the students make common mistakes which he corrects, mistakes I wouldn’t have otherwise know I was making.
He also emphasizes learning ASL in the way it’s actually used by the Deaf community and not the rigid structure that some ASL teachers impose in their classrooms
His lesson plans include learning about the Deaf community, which is an important aspect of learning ASL. Knowing how to communicate in ASL without the knowledge of the culture behind it leaves out a lot of nuances and explanations for the way ASL is.
Lastly, his lessons are just a lot of fun to watch. He is patient, entertaining, and funny. This good natured enthusiasm is contagious and learning feels like a privilege and not a chore
And it’s all FREE. Seriously. If you’ve ever wanted to learn ASL
Btw I was talking to Kiddo about social rules because we're both autistic and it doesn't come naturally to either of us but I have 25 years experience on them so I have some useful tips
And as proof of that: in that conversation I realised what neurotypicals mean when they say we "make everything about us"
When they're talking and we interject "fun facts" or start talking about something related to what they're saying we mean:
"I am showing interest in you and your interests by engaging with them and showing I'm listening by adding information"
From their perspective we are stomping over their turn to talk and making it our turn and therefore making it about us
Conversation example:
NT: my favourite animal is sharks
Autistic person: with some sharks species the shark pup that hatches first hunts the others and eats them while being incubated inside the mother
Autistic person perspective: I have shown interest in you by giving you information about a topic you have shown interest in
NT person's perspective: wow they made my favourite animal a time for them to show off instead of letting me talk when it was my turn
It's doesn't matter if it's "on topic" or "relevant to the person" if it's when it's their turn to be the focus of the conversation
Like I know there is a bit more to it but this is the first time in 39 years I have understood the accusation "you're making this all about yourself"
OHHH. Ok? I think I get it?
NT important variables: When (whose turn is it), and How (intonation, etc) - Conversational metadata.
ND important variables: What (the literal text/information exchange), and Why (the purpose fulfilled) - The base conversation.
From one autistic to another: you can master this exchange with one easy tool.
Ask a follow-up question.
As stated, allistic conversations do put a lot of weight into whose turn it is to speak. So in the above example,
Person: my favorite animal is sharks
The best follow-up response is "what do you like about sharks?"
Your conversation partner will answer, and if they're not a dickbag, then they will turn the conversation back to you, likely with a relevant question - "what's your favorite animal?" At which point you are free to infodump just a little. Keep it within one or two sentences - unless of course the person finds the info interesting.
But then keep asking follow-up questions, or at least give your conversation partner a chance to follow-up on their statements. Don't worry too much about the timing of questions, and if you're even slightly anxious that you're asking something too personal/rude, then tack on a "sorry, you don't have to answer." Allistic people just like to know that you're listening to what they have to say about the topic.
This is good advice and largely what I told my kid to do
I'm still thrown though that even though I had picked up on the "you need to ask questions and limit your sharing" (even though I'm not great at it) but I was 39 before I realised why allistics went about things the way they did
I think one of the most profound forms of love is "I'll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I'll try it."
It's a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay's plasticity. It's a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom's favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It's a girlfriend who says "Yes, I'll go with you" and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It's a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out "Wait, wait, I know we're here for the exhibit, but I haven't been here! Slow down!"
It's being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.