Does he mean anything to you
Not Laszlos going outside drenched in guillermos sweat almost making me cry holy shit
like fuck me, this is the first time he´s ever seen his shawn in real sunlight! His best friend! His good time boy!! he´s so happy!
really i mean LOOK AT HIM!!!
imagine what it must feel like to be able to go to the beach on a sunny day for the first time in centuries *sobs*
i could watch him draw dicks in the sand, bully teenagers and catch fish he can´t even eat forever, he´s like a little kid its killing me
i. i just love him. he has done nothing wrong in his life ever and i want him to be the happiest little vampire in the world <3<3<3
Red Hood: *sneezes once in a meeting*
His children goons: Boss? Boss are you sick? Do you have a fever? Do you need a cold compress? Do you need a hospital? Are you dying?! PLEASE DON'T DIE!!!
Red Hood: Nah, been there, done that.
His newest child goon: I’m sorry, what?
His eldest child goon: *looks up and sighs* Okay, come on. I’ll explain it to you.
Twenty minutes later
Newest child goon: Ah, so that’s why we have so many clown piñatas.
Meanwhile
Red Hood: No, for the last time, I don’t need to go to the hospital!
The self-assigned middle child goon: But if we don’t go we don’t get lollipops or stickers!
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I will buy you both of those in bulk if you drop this right now.
Middle child goon: Done.
This might be a dumb question, but why would they want hospital sweets, if there are so many clown piñatas?
When Tim is feeling salty towards Bruce, he types up his mission reports completely in emojis
The reports are still long and detailed but they are simply illegible to Bruce and he's trying to explain this to Tim
Tim: there's nothing wrong with my reports, they have all the detail you usually ask for
Bruce: Tim, these are nonsense, nobody can read these
Steph walks up and looks over Bruce's shoulder at the reports
Steph, engrossed in reading the report: Holy shit, Tim! Killer Croc attacked you with a laser gun he stole?! Where the fuck did he get a laser gun?
Tim: *motioning toward Steph in a 'see? it's totally understandable' way*
Bruce: *baffled bat noises*
Mending a Family 12/?
Prev | Next
Shit like this wasn’t supposed to happen in small towns. Yet here he was, in the middle of an armed robbery. The two men had a handgun each and were waving them around. Jason thought Canada had stricter gun laws, for God’s sake. Jason hid Danny behind his body and thanked whatever little luck he had that Jazz, and Ellie had stayed home.
And all because Jason had wanted some ice cream.
“Nobody be a hero. Give me the money, bitch!”
One man pointed the gun at the poor cashier, who looked close to tears, and the other pointed it at the three customers in the little convenience store.
Usually, Jason would be the first to jump into action, but he had Danny to think about now. Said kid pulled on Jason’s shirt and asked in a low voice, “Daddy, aren’t we gonna do something?”
“No, we’re gonna stay behind these shelves and let the proper authorities deal with it,” Jason whispered.
Danny actually pouted, pouted!
“But daddy, we have to help!”
Jason got Danny and held him close to his chest. Jason got on the floor and made himself small. He didn’t want attention on them and wanted to stop Danny from playing hero.
He should’ve remembered Danny had been one before, and he had powers. His son, his precious baby boy, turned invisible and intangible. Jason just about had a heart attack. Jason couldn’t risk calling out for Danny because that would draw attention to him.
The men were about to leave when they crashed into something invisible.
(If Jason squinted, he could just make out a green force field.)
Suddenly, both men’s pants fell to the floor, and when they looked down, distracted, both guns were knocked out of their hands and landed in front of Jason. Jason got one gun and pointed the other one at the men.
“Don’t move,” he ordered. Both men held up their hands and dropped the money. Jason watched as shoelaces were untied and then tied together to one another. The men got scared and tried to run when they heard police sirens, but they fell.
Jason heard a giggle at his side and watched his son return to the visible spectrum.
He sighed; it seemed he had to have a long talk with Danny.
____
Danny pouted in the back seat as Jason lectured him.
They ended up held up for only under an hour after the armed robbery attempt. It was a small town, and everyone knew everyone. The cashier and the other three customers in the store knew that the two robbers were Donnie and Tanner Evans, two brothers who were always getting into trouble.
How those two idiots thought they would be able to get away with it, Jason didn’t know. At least in Gotham, the city was big enough for idiots to get away with robbing small convenience stores.
Jason sighed; how did this even happen to him?
It’s because he had shit luck, that’s why. And now his son was mad at him for not playing vigilante and lecturing him for playing hero.
“I’m serious, Danny. You could’ve gotten hurt!”
“But I didn’t! What do you want, dad, for me to let others get hurt?”
“Yes, I mean, no, I mean—look, Danny, you’re too young to make these decisions.”
Danny glared, his eyes turning Lazarus Pit green. (Jason ignored his eyes glowing in response to Danny’s anger.)
“Look, Danny, I’m not mad. I was worried. I’m disappointed you didn’t listen to me,” Danny interrupted.
“Everyone knows that’s worse than anger!”
“You need to listen to what I say. You can’t put yourself in danger that way.”
“Like you’ve never put yourself in danger,” his precious, precious son mumbled, “you used to be a vigilante.”
Jason wished he had Alfie. How did he put up with their danger-seeking habits? It was a miracle the butler was still alive because Jason felt like his heart was trying to leave his body through his chest.
“Wait till I tell your sister about this.”
“Ha! Jazz encourages my heroism! You lose.”
“We’ll see.”
____
“What were you thinking, Daniel James Fenton?”
Danny watched as his daddy smirked at him, pleased. Jazz, the traitor, continued to scream at him.
“But Jazzie,” he whined, “I couldn’t just do nothing.”
Jazz pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Danny, we aren’t in Amity Park anymore. We’re trying to keep a low profile, and, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re like three years old!”
“I’m sixteen in the body of a five-year-old! And you can’t tell me what to do; you’re not mom!”
Danny regretted saying that as soon as Jazz’s face fell.
“Danny, apologize to your sister,” his dad barked out.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “it just came out.”
Jazz took a deep breath and continued, “I accept your apology, but Danny, you must be more careful. What if the cameras caught you?”
His dad had automatically hacked the convenience store’s cameras and found out that only one worked, and it was pointed at the entrance. Thankfully, it hadn’t captured Danny using his powers.
“Look, lad, like I said, I’m not mad, but you have to be careful when and where to use your powers. If I tell you not to, you don’t. Understand?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“Good, now, you’re grounded. No going outside for two days and no ice cream, either.”
“Aw, man, why daddy?”
“You disobeyed a direct order, that’s why.”
Danny pouted, and Jason had to harden his heart. Danny got off the chair and started going to his room.
“Danny lad, wait.”
Danny turned.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Yes, I can feel it.”
“Good,” Jason kissed Danny’s forehead. “You scared me today.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I can’t lose you, lad.”
Danny hugged his dad and let waves of love and reassurance hit the man. He might be disappointed that he was grounded, but Danny knew how much he had scared his dad. So, he would, mostly, take the punishment gracefully.
Jason watched Danny go to his room and plop hard on the chair.
“You okay, Jay?”
“Yeah, just, I got scared I would lose him, y’know?”
Jazz put her hand on his shoulder, “You’re a good dad.”
“I was so afraid to lose him today. What if I had,” Jason asked hysterically, “I’m a horrible father. I should’ve kept a better eye on him!”
“Jason, you’re spiraling. Danny is fine.”
Jason wondered if Bruce ever felt the way Jason was feeling now. How had Bruce raised a feral Dick Grayson and a rule-breaking Jason Todd? He kind of wished he had his dad near him to ask.
(He would take Danny away; Jason could never talk to Bruce again.)
“Do you think I handled it right?”
Jason wanted some reassurance.
“You did better than you think. Trust me.”
Jason smiled sadly. He hoped he wouldn’t screw things up with Danny.
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Must be rough, being fused to a clone of your younger self from an alternate timeline, whose family you tired to kill, not once, but twice, because you wanted him to turn out like you, only for you to loose both times and for him to show you mercy, and for you to be taken in by the same man who adopted you after your family’s horrific death in your original timeline, who you ripped the ghost half out of and fused with, who is also the man who cloned your younger self from that alternate timeline, who also owns nearly exclusively Packers merch. Also, you’re now 14 again.
That’s rough buddy.
(I read A Glitch in Time and am now lost in the sauce).
?Babysitting? Adventures with Jason and Damian… and Bruce… and Dick… part 6
PLS GO READ IT IT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY I SQUEALED AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD SO MUCH JUST THE SUMMARY HAD ME GIGGLING LIKE A MAD LAD Y'ALL CHECK IT OUUUUTTTTT
absolutely love it when people are like why do you like this fictional character so much look at all their bad qualities. my brothersister in christ their bad qualities are why i like them
Babysitting Adventures with Jason and Damian Part 5
Part 4.. in case anyone’s wondering, this is basically what having ADHD feels like…
Parts 2 and 3 of Babysitting Adventures with Jason and Damian…
(For anyone wondering, this was taken from a scene from a wonderful movie called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.)
I know this scenario has been done before, but trust me… I’ve got something special planned… 😏
Ayo I’m probably a little late on this but why are the variant covers for Robins so fucking horny
Like what the fuck is this shit
Especially the Nightwing one it’s basically softcore porn











