My name is Jesse, I'm a disabled trans man, and I really need help to move away from my unsupportive family and a state that's becoming increasingly hostile. I have a place to go, I just need to get there by the end of the year.

If you can help, I would appreciate it more than I can say.

Hey guys.

This is my very good friend Jesse of many years, who is in a nasty position, and who we are hoping can move in with me as soon as possible. We've worked out a timeline and cost breakdown but due to his poor health and other complications, he frankly needs all the funding he can get.

We've worked out a timeline, budget and execution plan, all we need is the funds, and donating really will help save his life in a very material way.

Thank you all who can donate, or who can help boost this.

Reading old 80s D&D clones and found the best villain scheme ever.

While everyone is conquering the world or bringing about the apocalypse, the Riddling Reaver (from Fighting Fantasy) is planning to use an ancient artifact to alter the universe. If he succeeds, rather then everyone's moral status being easily placed into one of nine unambiguous categories, Morality will be grey, blurry and impossible to uncontroversially define. At one point someone starts panicking about the terrible possibility of having evil people who don't know they're evil.

"This fuckers going to implement moral complexity in your game and it's up to you to stop him!" is such a high-concept extrapolation of the concept of an alignment system that I can't help but love it. The villain is coming in with postmodern accounts of intersubjectivism and someone needs to stop him reading them to the GM.

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Dan, reformed after three millennia in an isolated time pocket and lots of therapy, decides to try being a hero again.

Only, he's not very good at it. He looks fucking terrifying, and when people see him they tend to run towards the actual danger to get away.

So he's hanging out, invisible, on a random cities rooftop, when a pair of kid vigilantes plop down and start complaining how their mentors don't trust them ecause they haven't had any real combat experience. But to get experience, they need to be out there!

So while these teenagers plan something monumentally stupid, Dan realizes he has a unique opportunity.

Dan becomes a training villain.

A villain that specifically is meant to test kid vigilantes.

He does stupid, petty villain shit and the adult heroes quickly realize that this villain, instead of hurting their kid sidekicks, is teaching them between blows.

Dan's powers are nothing to sneeze at, so a kid vigilante holding their own against him for at least four minutes is considered impressive.

But he never, ever, hurts the kids.

There was an incident where another villain hurt a kid in front of Dan.

No one knows where that villain is.

@simplestoryteller
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I? Love this? Like an actual trained Adult Hero would be able to take one long look at this Terrifying Walking War God of a man and go "he... you're say you stopped him from 'stealing toys from a community center'? This guy right here." "Yes. It was close but we did it!" "........ I see."

Like? Cannonically Santa exists. Dan probably teams up with him every year to "Steal Christmas" (oh noooooo~) just to be defeated by the kiddos like a yearly exam. Cause Santa can legit SEE he's on the Nice List Now.

Other villians are like? Oh so he's a pushove- *chokes as an unbreakable grip slams shut around their throat like a bear trap* "No."

He keep apprenticing Heros who are going through that "I've lost faith in the Light" phase. Keeping them at a place they can come back from. I LOVE this AU.

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Looks for signs of stress or unhealthy hero/sidekick relationships and hunts down the heroes for the equivalent of parent teacher conferences.

Like, the kids are p unaware that he's actually one of their teachers.

Basically to adult the entire situation looks like

Yes!!! Dan has big scary growls but putting him under a microscope for a second makes you realize he’s literally all bark and no bite.

I would LOVE to see Dan being a regular “villain” of Young Justice. Dan would be DELIGHTED to fight Superboy, Impulse, And Robin. Even better add Cissie and Secret into the mix!

Dan carefully teaching Superboy how to better use his TTK and laser vision when needed.

Dan making extremely elaborate plans to give the Robin enrichment and help him flex his smarts in a way that helps him learn new skills.

So much could be done with this!!!

One time Dan hears Superboy cry out in pain after Metallo managed to successfully capture him.

Dan sees red.

IT IS TIME FOR MY BOY

Y’know who Dan becomes sudden and surprise best friends with? Waylon Fucking Jones

He’s been running his training villain shtick for a while, people are learning his villain name

(He went with Dan-ger because he spent those years getting better not thinking of cool secret identities)

And then one day he gets a surprise call from another minor villain, Killer Croc

He just had a run in with Roy Harper, one of the kids Dan tangles with, and he’s in a bad place. Waylon doesn’t have the same freedom of movement Dan does, but he wants someone to check in on the kid

And like FUCK is he asking any of the heroes who got Roy to a place where he was looking for death

Dan agrees, makes a note, does a couple wellness checks

(Roy thinks he’s being bullied by small time villains because Talking About Feelings is actually still bad and scary and Dan respects that)

Keeps Waylon in the loop, since the guy asks

Waylon mostly only gets to actually talk with the kids once they’ve officially crossed the villain line, so he’ll hit Dan up for some info once in a while, see if Dan knows anything important

Dan finds he has a lot in common with Waylon these days, and it’s nice to talk to someone who a) isn’t a kid and b) doesn’t judge his mild villainy

(Most villains think Dan’s either too full of himself for a wussy kid villain or have no fucking clue why he holds himself back. One usually leads to the other)

Waylon and Dan team up occasionally for some recreational enrichment of the former Robins

**

The adult heroes though? Well, no one talks about it anymore

There was one JL meeting all about Dan after they saw him snap Metallo in half with his bare hands, where they review all the footage from the kids’ missions

They try and work out his actual power set, made harder because a lot of them do know Dan’s going easy on the kids and specifically training them to find weak points and shit

The way he always dips when an adult hero moves in has also been noticed, and they’re no longer convinced he’s intimidated

(Good for them, he never tried to pretend too hard)

Dan’s officially classed as Not A Threat, but the special classification that means it’s because he doesn’t want to be, not because he isn’t capable, and Batman makes new murder plans

It becomes the official sign that a young hero has fully transitioned to an adult hero; they recognize that Dan has been playing with them the whole time

Dan notes the switch too, and doesn’t play-train with them anymore unless he’s asked

His relationship to the adult heroes he mentored is super different from the other adult heroes though; they’re not gonna tell the next group of kids what happened, but depending on how well each of them took the news that he was testing them out…

Well, they like their Uncle Dan

They all know how he reacts if anyone actually seriously hurts the kids, and quite a few aren’t above calling him in to help if the mentors are unavailable (or just unwanted)

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Practice Your Skills

“You ever look at someone and wonder how hard it would be to get past their defenses and stab them.

Damian snapped his head to the side, looking at the young boy now standing beside him.

The boy put his hands up in front of him with a wince, “Not that I ever do that. Totally not, whaaaat???”

Damian huffed and turned back around to watch the gala participants.

“It’s just you kinda looked like you were contemplating the logistics of stabbing Mrs.Halterguild for squeezing your cheeks.”

Damian scowled. Then, after a moment’s beat, “It would not be very difficult. She is nearly blind in her left eye, I would be able to approach without repost.”

The kid hummed, turning back as well before motioning to another group to the far right, “What about Mr. Beckensmith, he’s a retired vet right?”

Damian rolled his eyes and scowled harder, “The man has only seen the battlefield of an office as he bribed his way from being fully enlisted and instead managed to pay for increasingly higher ranks and medals. He is a disgrace.”

The kid cocked his head to the side, looking suspicious for a second and then nodding with concession, “Fair enough, I bet I could get close enough too.”

Damian scoffed.

“What, don’t believe me?”

Damian leveled a doubtful glare at the civilian, making it clear by looking him up and down, “Hardly.”

The other smirked dangerously, “If I can get close enough to poke him and get away without being noticed, will you believe me?”

Damian narrowed his eyes but nodded succinctly and watched as the boy immediately took off, making a few loops around other people before finally backing up to Mr. Beckensmith and poking him on the opposite side as a group moved past.

Damian pursed his lips. Interesting. Certainly better than he would expect from an amateur. And an amateur civilian at that.

When the boy returns to his side Damian brushes off the asks of meaningless praise.

“Come on, I did it, now you have to go poke Mrs. Halterguild without getting caught.”

Damian sneers, “And why would I do that?”

“Because I don’t believe you either, the woman’s old but I bet she sees you and squeezes your cheeks again. Old ladies just have a sixth sense for that stuff you know.”

Damian nearly growls but sets off on his task. He makes sure to stay on her left side, but the woman turns at the last second, forcing Damian to use a passing waiter as cover to remain hidden and finally get close enough to poke her gaudy dress.

Then he sidles back up to the boy on the edges and provides his best ‘I am more capable than you’ scowl. The boy simply laughs and says, “Who’s next?”

They spend the night like that, choosing each other’s targets to attack non-lethally as though they were attempting to stab them, and Damian finds the gala going by in a significantly less tedious manner.

Right up until the boy laughs at him when he chooses a target. Only one bark of laughter escapes, but it is enough for Damian to consider stabbing him as well. If only with a butter knife.

Instead, Damian grinds his teeth and asks, “What is so different about Masters, do you really believe you would be unable to succeed?”

The other gives a breathless chuckle, “I’m pretty sure even you wouldn’t be able to successfully stab Vlad Masters,” The boy’s shoulders sag even as his jaw tightens with irritation, “He sees everything.”

Damian narrows his eyes. Something naws at the back of his brain but currently the critique of his capabilities takes precedence.

“I would be capable of stabbing Masters even without my favored sword,” Damian scowls and stands taller with annoyance.

“Sure you can, man,” At this, the boy quirks a sharp smile, “If you can actually get him, I’ll personally get you a magic sword,” he says with an air of amused indulgence. Like he thinks Damian is some insipid child saying he will find a fairy.

Damian grits his teeth and shakes the other’s hand, then immediately sets off after his target. How dare this civilian question him! He is the Son of the Bat, this is not even a challenge!

Damian growls as his approach is thwarted for the third time by the man turning in his direction and almost spotting him. How dare he! He will not fail!

Just as he reaches to jab the man in the side, already poised to make his escape, Masters whips around and clamps his fingers around Damian’s wrist with a vice grip.

“Really Daniel I thought we were over-“ Masters pauses, looking at Damian critically as he glares at the man’s offending hand, “You are not young Daniel.”

“Remove your hand from my person at once,” Damian growls.

Instead of listening to Damian’s very sensible directions, Masters tightens his grip and twists his arm, most likely in an attempt to hurt him.

“Now why is a child attempting to-“

Damian doesn’t wait to hear the rest of the man’s words, sliding a dagger into his other hand and swinging towards him, until that hand is caught mid-movement as well.

“Heh-Hey there!”

Damian snaps his head to the side just in time to see Grayson take his dagger and slide it into his pocket. He ignores the bark of laughter he hears from across the room.

Masters’ hand disappears from his arm suspiciously fast, “Mr. Wayne, what a pleasure!”

Damian looks over his other shoulder to see his father standing behind him, a thin smile on his face, “Vladimir!”

His father’s figure quickly obscures his vision, putting an arm over Masters’ shoulders in a way that clearly makes him irritated but forces him to follow as he is steered away.

“Dami, I thought we talked about the stabbing at formal events,” Grayson says through a strained smile as he looks over the crowd to make sure no else saw.

“Tt, it was merely a demonstration of my skills, he was in no real danger until he refused to release me. I simply sought to correct that mistake.”

Grayson pinchesthe bridge of his nose, “Demonstration for who, Dames? We all already know your skills.”

“Tt,” Damian scowls and turns away.

Instead of pushing it, Grayson simply sighs heavily, “Just stay out of trouble for the rest of the gala okay? We’re almost done.”

Damian scoffed and waited for Grayson to leave. Once he does, Damian finally looks over to where he had been lingering with the boy.

Gone.

Clearly he’d taken the cowards way out when he’d seen that Damian had been accosted by Masters.

Pitiful.

Damian spends the rest of the night scowling from the wall and looking serendipitously for a head of black hair and blue eyes unrelated to him.

Of course it’s not until they are actively leaving that Damian sees him and immediately splits off of from his family.

He approaches with irritation, preparing to grab the other by the shoulder when suddenly he turns around and blue eyes meet Damian’s green.

“You,” Damian sneers.

“Me,” The other shrugs. He has an amused smile on his face, though it was strained at the edges.

They stare in silence for a minute, before the other’s smile grows and sharpens once more, “I didn’t expect you to actually try to stab him, y’know,” A slight laugh escapes him, “Not that it was unwelcome by any means, but still, unexpected.”

Damian scowls again, glaring at this foolish civilian.

“Oh, I never introduced myself did I?!”

The boy exclaims and holds out a hand, smile dangerous, “Daniel Fenton. Or if we’re being technical,” a pause as Damian finally returns the gesture and finds his hand trapped, “Daniel Masters, a pleasure to meet you Damian.”

“Hurry up little badger,” A voice says beside them, and Damian notices that it is indeed Vladimir Masters.

The man approaches, placing a heavy hand on Fenton’s shoulder, making the boy go taut, and then they both step into a dark car, leaving Damian on the front steps.

Damian’s anger flares and he shoots a glare directly to the boy getting into the car. It dies the moment they meet eyes and Damian sees the fear hiding in the other’s eyes.

Fear that Damian is all too familiar with.

Fear that reminded Damian of himself. Reminded him of his own eyes when he’d been under his grandfather.

But why did Fenton look like that?

Had some minutes to think some thoughts about this.

I think Danny should get Damian a magic sword. Even though Damian didn't manage to catch Vlad. Danny should do it as a Thank You for trying to legitimately stab him and also for making the gala bearable for a few hours.

Obviously Vlad has Danny on a pretty tight leash in this, so I'm not sure how he would get a magic sword much less have the freedom to deliver it. But I think it would be a cool thing to have happen next. Give Damian even more questions and reasons to investigate. Especially if Damian catches on that Danny likely risked (and possibly received) punishment to give this gift. Make Damian wonder Danny would do that when Damian didn't even complete tge challenge.

To Danny it was just a gift. Something for the guy who’d made his evening one of the most bearable in months. A bit of appreciation for the kid who’d absolutely been about to actually stab dear old Vlad without hesitation.

And yeah, maybe delivering on the bet either way was a bit of a flex, too: one last extension of their competition. He’d seen the way the other kid’s eyes lit up at the prospect of a magic sword, even under the feigned disinterest. Seen the challenge in them too, the same disbelief that other kid had radiated at the outset of their little game. Well, Danny decided, he’d deliver. A lasting last word to stretch out that sense of something like connection just a bit longer.

Rising to meet that challenge had been… fun. That it had danced deniably close to the edge of showing a bit too much skill was just an added bonus.

Especially once they really got into it. Stabby Kid wasn’t exactly subtle either. Fun to know some of the kids of Gotham probably navigated a city full of rogues about as normally as some Amity Parkers.

Getting the gift and getting it to him was a bit tough, under the circumstances, but it was nice, for a minute, to have something to work towards again. Some goal he could try and accomplish behind Vlad’s back for the first time in… too long.

So, he sent off something cool, expecting nothing else to come of it, except that somewhere out there a rich kid with apparent blade skills would be supremely confused.

He grinned to himself. Totally worth the consequences.

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To Damian it’s a challenge, a call for help, a repayment in advance for Damian’s assistance. (And if he’s more correct about a couple of those things than Danny would admit even to himself? Well.)

Whatever could scare a child with access to such weapons, and to the skills ‘Danny’ had demonstrated, must be serious. Why else would he have devised such a test of Damian’s skills at the gala if not to determine whether he could be of assistance? Clearly, whoever he was, he had read the room well to single Damian out.

Well, now Damian is armed, he was always dangerous, and he does not intend to leave this challenge unanswered.

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Vlad has no idea that, by instigating an attempted stabbing, he’s about to bring down the entire bat clan on his head.

Okay listen tho

Damian failed

He does not deserve a magic sword, and delivery on that would be a pain in the ass

You know what he gets for trying?

A magic shank

One Danny makes himself, magics with his own ecto and what little he can recall that Pandora taught him before Vlad barred him from the Zone

And okay, it’s not a traditional shank, but it turns out trying to sharpen his tooth brush took fucking forever and then Vlad noticed, and weirdly it was easier to get his hands on an actual pocket knife

That means it has a metal blade though, and that takes to the runes much better than plastic, so it’s a win in the end

And a pocket knife folds up nice and small, easy for Danny to snag spare change to cover and send a small envelope back to Gotham with just the knife and a note

Maybe the note is a bit much, but Damian did fail

“No swords for you buddy, better luck next time - Undefeated Danny”

And if Damian could easily hide the pocket knife for the next Gotham gala and stab Vlad with something that’d actually do some damage, ghost form or not?

Danny’s maybe hoping no big brothers swoop to the rescue next time

It’s almost worth Vlad’s punishment for laughing and setting Damian up in the first place

**

Damian’s confused at first, by receiving a letter at all and then at the pocket knife, but he knows exactly where it’s from

Clearly it’s a taunt, and a poor one; the knife cannot be magical

Except it only reflects green light, and when he leaves it in the cave with the blade open and heads upstairs, he sees the glow from the elevator

Danny got him a fucking magic knife

Clearly this is related to Vlad’s uncanny ability to detect his presence; if Danny is so well versed in magic, the man controlling him must be too

(Dami doesn’t put ghosts together until one of JLDark swear a blue streak at him for bringing the knife to the watchtower to analyse)

Damian’s Magic Consolation Shank is a fantastic mental image.

Love the idea that he brings it to the Watchtower and pulls it out to analyze only for any JLDark members present to scramble backwards like “Where TF did you get a Ghost Knife?!?”

It’s also really important to me that you guys know Danny was trying to sharpen his toothbrush into a shank With The Pocket Knife

Like he had a sharp object already it just didn’t work well

He was just so used to thinking of it as a tool he forgot it was sharp and stabbable until Vlad took his toothbrush away and got him a new one for the sixth time

In addition to being able to stab ghost forms the knife can now cut through magical wards if they’re not ghost proof and also go intangible and pass directly through things if Dami doesn’t wanna cut them

That last one was an accident though Danny doesn’t know it can do that and Damian controlling it is iffy at best because it draws on his subconscious

Upside: he can stab his siblings with his ghost knife as much as he wants and they’ll never be hurt

Downside: they’ll eventually learn that this is because he doesn’t actually want to hurt them and will never let him live it down

Post canon Toph who doesn’t want to go back to her shitty parents so she just decides to stay in the Fire Nation and bum off Zuko’s hospitality.

Zuko’s like no, yeah, I totally get it, and just makes her one of his advisors. At first it’s just so she has a good excuse to stay but after the first meeting Toph storms out shouting about how EVERYONE was lying why would you even need to lie about what kind of tea you want??

Zuko: I mean they’re politicians…..but also who, and when, and in what way

They make a subtle Morse code system so Toph can warn him when someone is lying to him without tipping anyone off that she can sense lies.

Zuko gets a reputation for somehow being both extremely socially inept and yet somehow disgustingly perceptive?? You can’t get ANYTHING by him???

#my lord what EXACTLY is ms Beifongs role in these meetings #a nervous nobleman asks after the third time she interrupts them with stupid commentary #zuko with perfect deadpan: she’s my scribe

You CAN’T leave that in the tags

Okay but this is how she becomes a cop

“Oh she’s a cop in the earth kingdom” shhhhh

No she’s not

She’s chief of Fire Lord Zuko’s Bullshit Police in that she will look you in the eye mid sentence and just say “bullshit”

She will also do this to Zuko if he’s annoyed her lately but it’s worth all that to see her do this to hardened politicians

And what are they gonna do, fire bend at her? The queen of metal bending?

Someone challenges her to an agni kai and everyone but Zuko calls them a fucking idiot she’s not a fire bender she can’t do that

Zuko just says “let them do it”

They get on the big dramatic stage back to back and Toph doesn’t even turn around she rises, they say start, her opponent is now in a hole

Just the face sticking up

And she walks over and crouches down by the hole and whispers

“Hey remember how Ozai used to have a fleet of sky-ships? Remember what happened to those? That was me.”

And then she metal bends their top knot holder into the shape of a dick and Zuko declares they have to keep wearing it for a month

Lois Lane is not a bad driver. Lois Lane is an excellent driver. Lois Lane could arguably be a stunt driver. She's chased down the slipperiest leads and pulled crazy maneuvers in parking garages and pulled the drawbridge-turned-ramp stunt to get her story when the situation has called for it. She has grabbed the wheel of a humvee from the backseat when an IED turned both her MP driver escort and his partner to swiss cheese and she successfully navigated through a suddenly-turned-warzone to the American embassy while having a minor concussion herself. She's definitely a better driver than Clark, who, between frequently second-guessing other drivers, having to reconcile super-senses with operating a respectable used hybrid volvo sedan, and never going above the speed limit, basically drives like an old lady. But Lois drives like fucking Lupin III and it scares the shit out of both Clark and Jimmy.

Clark: *regularly breaks the sound barrier, has to be hyper-conscious of speed to make sure he doesn't injure anyone he's carrying or make them pass out from G-Force, is literally invulnerable*

Clark when he's in a car and Lois is driving:

I love the unintentional implication of the image. Cuz that's a replaced car handle that doesn't match the interior. Meaning that Clark's gotta have ripped out Lois' car handle at LEAST once.

Lois, sitting in the copilot's seat next to Clark: Smallville, you're going three miles under the speed limit in the center lane. Come on!

Clark, hands perfectly placed at the NHTSA recommended '9 and 3' positions as is appropriate for this model and year of car: Two cars ahead of us is a newly single mother of three. They're late for her oldest's tennis practice, the tablet's battery just ran out for the middle child, and the youngest has spat out her pacifier and it's rolled under the seat so now the middle child has to unbuckle her seatbelt to grab the pacifier from under the seat or else the youngest is just going to scream the whole ride.

Lois: ...

Clark: *has visibly broken a sweat*

Lois: Clark, what the fuck are you talking about.

now that sag-aftra has joined the strike, the increase in cold-ass takes has skyrocketed about “why should we support millionaires whining about not making money??”. like my man. my guy. the actors well-paid enough to have name recognition are striking to protect their colleagues. that very name recognition is what the average person is going to notice. they probably won’t care that ‘woman who plays every dead body in police procedurals’ is striking, but someone like emily blunt? that’ll get their attention. besides, would you rather they just… not support their colleagues? because at this point you’re basically saying you’d prefer if they scab than support their colleagues who can’t make a living wage despite both groups being talented professionals who deserve respect. name recognition is a powerful tool for sag-aftra and i hope they wield it with scalpel-like precision against the execs

And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn't know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.

I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went

"Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don't all fit in there and that's why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king." And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he's the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.

And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as "spending too much time being a king clogs your brain."

Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I'm not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.

The union busting firms are scared

As a fine dining cook, I found work in a union workplace around a year ago. My 40 hours a week are guaranteed except for Jan/feb/mar when there’s not enough customers, I get paid almost twice what I did at any other restaurant, if I work overtime, (more than 8 hours in one day, or more than 40 in a week), I actually get overtime pay, (and it’s 1.5x my normal rate!). I get holiday pay, and in addition I get to either bank or pay out my holidays if I work those days, (either a paid day off when I want it, in addition to the holiday pay, or I get paid an add’l 8 hours at 1.5x that week). I also get two floating holidays, 4 paid random sick days, 2 paid family sick days, and 4 paid “doctor’s note” sick days, (paid out by our health insurance), as well as general allowance to take as many unpaid sick days as I want without worrying for my job security. (I’ve been told that taking multiple months off is where we start to be concerned about abuse, so if I want to do that, I can go through our leave of absence procedures instead, where I’m allowed three 2-week periods a year generally for whatever reason I want, (If my manager wants to disagree, he has to get the union president’s approval), and after that it’s up to my manager to decide if he’ll accept them). I get two weeks of paid vacation time a year, and an add’l week per year for every 5 years I work there. We get our legally mandated breaks, which, I know that sounds like a low bar, but taking anything other than a smoke break in a kitchen?!?! Unheard of! I get two 15′s and a lunch every shift! I get to sitdown and rest my legs and not get flak for it! I get a bonus at the end of the year, there’s official procedures for if my manager isn’t happy with me or wants to get rid of me, (three meetings, during which my union representative has to be present), (and getting rid of my classification doesn’t work, there’s rules for how someone ‘bumps’ other people if classifications are gotten rid of), and severance pay for when full-time employees that are downsized out of the company, there’s a pension plan, like . . . Guys, I have a 40-page handbook which details all of the rights my union has won me, and believe me, I’ve never had any of these at any prior workplace. And you know what my union dues are? $4 a paycheck. Of course I’m going to pay my union dues for all of those benefits.

Reblogging for this incredibly thorough explanation of what it's like to actually have a contract in place at a union workplace. I reblog a fair number of posts about how people should organize, but if you're like me, you might not know exactly what that can get you until you've actually gone through the process. Every contract is different because you bargain for what makes sense for your particular workplace, and every few years you re-negotiate with the employer to improve things in the next contract, but some things (like the right to have union representation when you talk to your boss about leave or discipline) are universal.

It's worth every penny of your dues, I promise.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

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“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

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Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

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^Same for me

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They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

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much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

World Heritage Post

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personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird

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yesterday i was talking to a Guy and i asked what time it was and he git really excited and said “time for you to get aaaaa…. SUNDIAL!!” and then started talking about sundials and sounding like a fucking commercial and i pointed out that sundials have to be in one specific spot to work and he got all nervous and asked if i’ve tried a sextant. what the fuck

not to sound like Sundial Salesman Guy but … he’s lowkey right, if you’re in a place with a fair amount of sunlight. two weeks ago i was hanging out with a little kid when she wondered aloud what time it was. i looked at the sun, adjusted my body a bit, put my elbow on the ground with the arm up perpendicular, and told her “it’s about 12:45.”

then she had to get a watch to see if i was right (pretty much — it was 12:50), and then i found myself explaining cardinal directions and sundials to a preschooler

ANYWAY MY POINT IS that no, sundials don’t require a fixed place for efficiency, only enough sun to cast a shadow & awareness of your relative direction, and knowing this is great but going on about it makes you sound horny for ancient Rome

if you don’t know how to make a sundial but need a guesstimate on how much daylight is left, hold your hand out at arm’s length horizontally and count how many fingers fit between the sun and the horizon. it’s about 15 minutes a finger.

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literally all you people sound insane to me