Oh no now I have a few followers so I should probably make a one of these now.
Pfp is by @/silksongeveryday
My name is Heliodor (hell-ee-oh-door). I use he/they pronouns, and am most likely an age last I checked.
What do I post? I don’t, but I’ll reblog anything that catches my eye. Do not expect a blog theme or consistent anything. Life is a rollercoaster, and consistency is for losers.
Gay can also be defined as happy.
WHAT?? Does the homosexual community know about this??
you may add ur height in the tags if u want ppl to see if they were right or not after they voted
I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.
so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
oh yeah no the william d porter is such a fantastically unlucky ship. the entire history of it is a case study of broken mirrors
There is one other nice thing to take away from the story of the Willie Dee:
She had the phenomenally good luck in that nobody was injured or killed in her sinking, which is an incredibly rare feat.
Imagine accidentally firing a bomb at the president and he's just like "nbd things happen"
ive read in some places that he actually found it mildly amusing
I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.
William Alberto Huaman Vilcatoma
Guilin Mountains China
these landscapes are great bc you see these chinese paintings showing what you think are very stylized landforms, but then you see photographs of the actual mountains in south china and it’s like, no, that’s actually just what they look like
iirc these kinds of insanely dramatic peaks are characteristic of karst topography, since soft limestone is easily eroded and can create some pretty wild shapes in the process. some of the really insane ones include the stone forest (also in southern china) and tsingy de bemaraha in madagascar.
needless to say you often also get incredible caves in karst regions, even ones which don’t have nearly as dramatic surface features as these
*plants mint directly in your dash* heehee :3
🌿🌱🌱🌱🌿AIUUGGG🌿🌿HHHHDKD🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌱🌱☘️🌿☘️🌿🌿AUUG🌿GHHHHHHH🌿🌿HHHSHSJ🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🍃🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🍃🌿🌿🌿
WAIT N-🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🍀🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🌿🍀🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🌱🍀🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🍀🌿h🍀🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🌿e🍀🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🌱🍀🌱🍀🌿🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌿🌱🌿l🌿🍀🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🍀🌿🌱🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🍀🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀p🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌿🌱🌿🌱 🌿🌿🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱m🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🍀🍀🌱🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱e🌿🌱🌿🌱🍀🌿🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🍀🌿p🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌿🌱🍀🌱🍀l🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🌿e🍀🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱a🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿s🍀🌱🌿🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿e🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🍀🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🍀🌱🌿🌿🌿🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱🍀🌱🌿🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🍀🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🍀🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿
A☘️🌿☘️🌿🌱☘️🌱🌿🌱☘️🌱🌿🌱☘️🌿☘️🌱☘️🌱☘️🌿☘️🌿☘️🌱🌿🌿🌱🌿🌱A🌿☘️🌱🌿🌿🌱☘️🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱☘️🌱☘️🌿🌱☘️A🌱☘️🌿☘️🌱☘️🌿🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱☘️A🌿☘️🌱🌿🌱☘️🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱🌱☘️🌿☘️A🌿☘️☘️🌱🌿🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌱☘️G🌱☘️🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱☘️G🌱🌿🌱🌱☘️🌿H🌱☘️🌿🔥🔥Y🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥E🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥A🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥H🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔫 (flamethrower)
WHO THE FUCK PLANTED ALL THIS MINT
Oh I love mint!🌿 I wouldn't mind 🌿🌿🌱some on🌱🌿🌿🌱 my dash! Ok wai🌿🌱🌱t. Ok 🌿🌱🌿🌱🌱🌱🌱🌿🌱🌱🌱wait no.🌿🌱🌿🌱 No. Sto🌿🌱🌱p. H🌿🌱e🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌱🌿☘️y.🌱🌱🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌿🌿🌱🌱🌱🌿🌱🌱🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌱🌱🌱🌿🌱🌿🌱🌿🌿🌿🌿
Good news for you, this August 23rd.
It’s that time of year again.
Nice
Guess what today is?
yeah well he had me in the second half too
oh this was absolutely the wrong blog
my one superpower is that i can instantly tell when someone who doesn’t use the word “ya’ll” in their day-to-day speech starts using it to be sanctimonious and folksy on the internet
i can tell you don’t either OP or you’d put the apostrophe in “y'all” where it fucking belongs
Now that’s a fuckin callout
wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.
a hoe never gets lyme disease
It’s such a blessing to have somebody who backs you when your identity is challenged. I am so grateful for the people who have shown me the incredible strength of their own confidence, and for those who believed me when I told them who I am. #TransVisibility
Trans People 🤝 Dinosaurs
Knowing who they are even if people are Ignorant about it
<3 THIS IS A WHOLESOME COMIC <3
me: oh what day of the week is it again
the tiny kepler that lives in my brain: it's tuesday
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony
- Jill Thomas Doyle
A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.
Hey, imperative! Walk into that bar!
the only time it was actually funny and entertaining when a "ship" was "confirmed" by someone who worked on the show was when someone asked rene auberjonois at a panel what the nature of quark and odo's relationship was and he replied "sexual." without elaboration
Shout out to this tiny yet crucial error on an otherwise actually very informative post about myths about tax returns and the IRS
oh boy! something in my mailbox from the IRA? I wonder what it could be!
