the truth you all don't want to admit is that in the mlp universe jesus christ did exist and he became a carpenter because of his cutiemark that was two planks and some nails and only right before the end did he figure out he had gotten it all mixed up
i hope everyone here knows when i say "woe ____ be upon ye" im not saying woe because said thing is bad im saying woe to invoke the image of me throwing whatever im talking about at you eminem style
"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.
from what I've seen, there are exactly Three Jobs hiring at any given time. they are:
- senior logistics strategist at Hewlett Packard. $140,000 / year. requirements: three separate MBAs, fifteen years of business experience, no "ethnic" grandparents, unearned sense of confidence
- "customer success ambassador" at Glurp. $70,000 / year, give or take, since 90% of your pay is based on commission. requirements: associate's degree, no experience, has never heard the phrase "pyramid scheme," no sense of shame
- part-time server at Le Bon Mot. $15-$16/hr depending on level of experience. must work weekends, overnight shifts, holidays, while asleep. requirements: you will let customers spit on you.
college-aged obama portraying himself as bisexual in an effort to attract artsy girls is the funniest thing i’ve read all week
Source: New York Post
