gonna be trying this new thing where i try to tell the truth and be vulnerable EVEN if i think it'll hurt others EVEN if i think it'll lead to conflict EVEN if i think it'll make them dislike me or gossip about me or treat me worse. cos hmmmm turns out that making yourself so so small and keeping your boundaries close to your chest and never telling anyone anything about yourself ever makes you feel bad after 20 years or so? and often it hurts other people too?? fucked up if true. yes i just realized that
obsessed with josé olivarez love poems actually
“Like, porn star level sex. Ever since I was a teenager. I worked as an exotic dancer for a long time. I used to have long, red hair. I’ve been on the cover of romance novels. And I’ve also been gifted with great hands. I once wrote a book called The Extension of The Female Orgasm; I lost it in an old computer. But needless to say, I can make things happen with the human body. I’m kinda lucky downstairs, and I’ve done the work. There’s pumps and stuff that can make your ding-ding thicker and longer. But mainly I’ve been gifted with the willingness to listen. When women give you guidance, and you’re willing to listen, there’s no limit to what you can do. I once provided thousands of orgasms over a five-year period, without ejaculating a single time. It’s called Mantak Chia’s Microcosmic Orbital Energy Raising. It’s a Daoist lovemaking technique where you don’t release your seed. You pull all your vital energies back into you, and spiral your electric body, to create a really powerful connection. Too powerful, honestly. It needs to be disclosed. Because most people don’t even realize you can take sex way deeper into an abyss of orgasmic pleasure. It’s intergalactic if you do it properly. But there’s a dark side. One time I went to somebody’s house that I hadn’t seen for two years. We were just having dinner. But then I go to the bathroom, and I open the vanity mirror, which I know I shouldn’t do, but I did, and there’s an altar to me. With all these pictures and different candles. I had to learn that I was hurting people emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Because they’re probably never going to reach that level with someone else. Imagine having the perfect steak at your favorite restaurant, then eating nothing but dirty sock soup for the rest of your life. I never wanted to hurt people. I love people. I’m trying to be a better person. And part of being a better person is to put the other person’s feelings first. So now I tell people right from the start, the complete honest truth. You’re an amazing person. And enchantingly beautiful. But I’d rather just be friends, instead of having amazing sex that is probably going to make you hate me.”
Marcin Cienski (Polish, b. 1976, Krakow, Poland, based Berlin, Germany) - Colorado, 2018, Paintings: Oil on Canvas
Source: marcincienski.com
no more blorbo questions what was the first music album that changed you fundamentally
My outfit to cast watch-party last night (I wanted something that would go later with my mascara running)
rb and put in the tags the name of the first person to whom you came out and how it went
when it's always sunny in philadelphia ends one day I want the last episode to be a shot for shot remake of the succession finale