we need to talk about criston’s completely neutral face here actually. this is tuesday for him. this is normal.
tiktok can’t outdo the doer
To be fair tiktok WAS first to do this (Ships of the northern fleet)
The Homestucks on here were pretending the Squiddles were a real show (and the comic was actually an anime) like a decade ago on here.
my mom loves to lie and like she always swears she was NEVER homophobic or anything to me as a child “i even have a gay work friend” but a really funny memory resurfaced recently where i asked if i could use birthday money i had to buy a rainbow flag when i was like ??? 7?? because i LOVED rainbows. and she said no that means something Evil and god will hate you . so what did i do. but ask my grandmom for a rainbow sweater for christmas and proceed to only wear that sweater for three years when it got cold because i didnt like the idea that god hated colors and i wanted to challenge him
normal 7 year old with religious trauma: oh no god can hear my thoughts and punish me
me: either you are wrong about god or god is wrong and i will fight him and i will be the one to find out
me at 7: he would not fucking say that
blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool
“Mother Mary” Hunting Party Tapestry up for preorder until August 31st
Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.
This is actually a common misconception! While the Unicorn Dog did exist and was discontinued following the extinction of unicorns in 2009, the Corn Dog is not a rebranding of the Unicorn Dog! The Corn Dog was created in 2003 by James H. Corn, though it remained a relatively unpopular Ohio treat until 2010 when Mr. Corn took the opportunity left by the Unicorn Dog’s exit from the market to take over the niche.
nobody really drops anvils that make people have funny birds and stars spin around their head anymore… they should do start doing that again
So true, btw can you stand on this x over here? I think there’s buried treasure under there
treasure? YIPPEE!!! (starts digging!!!!!)
THOUSAND ENERGY BEAMS ATTACK
I love this genre of tumblr posts that’s basically the online equivalent of playing power rangers on the playground
my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness
the mining dwarfer seems to pick his axe at night

girl it's a single sentence
need you to be not so toughies on me.
CAT showcasing equipment during an indoor demo for potential buyers
cat shelter for dads
i posted this ages ago on twitter and no one cared so im hoping i will find some bird likers on this app. ardeidae fancam!
BIG fan of this
Between Ryan Gosling Ken and Benoit Blanc I'm starting to think that it's some sort of animal abuse to keep casting big name actors in stoic macho manly man rolls instead of giving them goofy little guys to play. Like look at them their coats are shiny, they seem so much more lively and energetic. We need to make sure all actors have enough goofy little guys to play before peta gets involved.
One thing about researching world around you is that it becomes a bit friendlier once you know it better. If you see a random spider- you get scared. You see plants and consider them just weeds. You look at night sky and see a bunch of stars.
And then, you learn names.
Now, it is an orbweaver, and you consider them a friend. The greenery around is a laurel, or an alium, or osmanthus, and you know which of them to keep away from, and which of them are great herbs for tea. Now, you look up and see a whole parade of Venus, Ursa Major, or Orion. You now know their names, and, if you respect them- they become allies of yours.
my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk
brother dubious
"My liege, I'm afraid I have reason to believe your concubine plots against you. Worry not, your eminence, you can still trust me, of course..."
i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)
you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact








