I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

ballister is actually just a borzoi wearing human clothes

The real challenge of cooking for one is that potato size takes on disproportionate importance. There are so many dishes where one average potato isn't enough, but two average potatoes is too much, so now I'm assessing diameters and ratios like a tuber phrenologist in search of the potato that's just the right amount of potato.

Try going by overall weight rather than size

Do I strike you as the sort of person who can reasonably be expected to keep track of partial potatoes?

consider: any partial potato can simply be boiled. miniature mashed potato for you

Any partial potato will be forgotten in the back of the fridge until the resulting mould culture starts developing a state religion.

Reddit Refugee here!

I always posted my cat on r/Cats

I will bless you with my boy

one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot” 

the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)

a couple of things about my experiences:

1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from 

2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did

3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”

4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices

5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates

6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery

“you CAN’T fuck the rhombus’ sounds like Quitter Talk to me. 

#Ballister and Ambrosius + arm/hand (Maybe arm-chopping is a love language after all...)

This. This is my millennial experience.

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 06/08/2008 12:52:00 PM.

Does this still -

It does! Tap through to the original post and it still does.

IT WHAT

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you just RB this?

The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform

here lemme help

*ahem*

reblog this post to kiss the person you reblogged it from

hope that works :)

THANK YOU THIS IS MAKING MY BRAIN SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAA

THIS IS SO SATISFYING ITS LIKE A GROUP OF PLANKTON OR A RAILWAY CHART...

@graycatluna it's now at 6801 reblogs and I made you a composite image, it's not perfect because it keeps wiggling around but it's very pretty:

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL...

IM SO SO HAPPY AAAAA..

I think this is the first year where I haven’t seen a single post unironically celebrating the 4th of july. Are the americans okay

No, sorry, the Supreme Court just banned it. 

“Author of 25+ best-selling Pride & Prejudice variations”

Yeah, no.

Also, because I fully believe that it’s Good and Right to shame these fucking charlatan AI ‘authors’, can we please talk about the aforementioned 25 'best-selling' Pride and Prejudice variations, because I’m dying to talk about the aforementioned 25 'best-selling' Pride and Prejudice variations

(Image text: What if Elizabeth Bennet traveled with Lydia to Brighton? When Lizzy and Lydia arrive in Brighton, it's very clear that the younger Bennet sister came with very serious plans towards Mr. Wickham. Thankfully, an old ally is also in town, with problems of his own to solve. After Mr. Darcy, himself, is summoned to Brighton to hopefully solve two dilemmas with one wealthy member of the gentry, the whole militia is thrown into an uproar by Wickham's most dastardly deed, yet. Together, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy have to save Lydia from her own undoing, or it will mean more than just mere reputations are ruined. A reimagining of Jane Austen's most beloved tale, Pride & Prejudice, join author Elizabeth Ann West as she writes the romantic adventure story she always wanted! For the Love of a Bennet is a novel length story, currently being posted chapter by chapter on Elizabeth's author site. This story was originally conceptualized in 2019 as a part of the All Go to Brighton challenge.)

Tell me honestly, Elizabeth West, is anyone actually reading this shit? Because apparently you’re not even proofreading what the AI spits out if ‘the whole militia is thrown into an uproar by Wickham’s most dastardly deed, yet’ is some of the scintillating, witty, edge-of-your-seat prose that we can expect from your cheating co-author.

In case anyone wondered what this woman’s process is with AI, it turns out that she literally just... gets the AI to generate the entire book, based on the plot outline that she feeds it... and then she ‘edits’ the AI output herself... in like 2 days...

And they say that creativity is dead. Truly, this woman calling herself a ‘writer’ is the most creative thing I’ve seen in years.

This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it

Achievement unlocked: discovered piece of media at exact right time in your life to experience maximum peak emotional impact and infatuation

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you just RB this?

The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform

here lemme help

*ahem*

reblog this post to kiss the person you reblogged it from

hope that works :)

THANK YOU THIS IS MAKING MY BRAIN SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAA

THIS IS SO SATISFYING ITS LIKE A GROUP OF PLANKTON OR A RAILWAY CHART...

glad to be of assistance :) can you name the plankton after me

i have 10.5k followers i'll help

@thatlittleegyptologist @rudjedet make it REAL big ladies

oh I mean I'll come out of my hyperfocus hidey hole for this and throw my 9k at this

House of Scientists in Lviv, Ukraine by lukasz_mlodzins.

The union busting firms are scared

As a fine dining cook, I found work in a union workplace around a year ago. My 40 hours a week are guaranteed except for Jan/feb/mar when there’s not enough customers, I get paid almost twice what I did at any other restaurant, if I work overtime, (more than 8 hours in one day, or more than 40 in a week), I actually get overtime pay, (and it’s 1.5x my normal rate!). I get holiday pay, and in addition I get to either bank or pay out my holidays if I work those days, (either a paid day off when I want it, in addition to the holiday pay, or I get paid an add’l 8 hours at 1.5x that week). I also get two floating holidays, 4 paid random sick days, 2 paid family sick days, and 4 paid “doctor’s note” sick days, (paid out by our health insurance), as well as general allowance to take as many unpaid sick days as I want without worrying for my job security. (I’ve been told that taking multiple months off is where we start to be concerned about abuse, so if I want to do that, I can go through our leave of absence procedures instead, where I’m allowed three 2-week periods a year generally for whatever reason I want, (If my manager wants to disagree, he has to get the union president’s approval), and after that it’s up to my manager to decide if he’ll accept them). I get two weeks of paid vacation time a year, and an add’l week per year for every 5 years I work there. We get our legally mandated breaks, which, I know that sounds like a low bar, but taking anything other than a smoke break in a kitchen?!?! Unheard of! I get two 15′s and a lunch every shift! I get to sitdown and rest my legs and not get flak for it! I get a bonus at the end of the year, there’s official procedures for if my manager isn’t happy with me or wants to get rid of me, (three meetings, during which my union representative has to be present), (and getting rid of my classification doesn’t work, there’s rules for how someone ‘bumps’ other people if classifications are gotten rid of), and severance pay for when full-time employees that are downsized out of the company, there’s a pension plan, like . . . Guys, I have a 40-page handbook which details all of the rights my union has won me, and believe me, I’ve never had any of these at any prior workplace. And you know what my union dues are? $4 a paycheck. Of course I’m going to pay my union dues for all of those benefits.

Reblogging for this incredibly thorough explanation of what it's like to actually have a contract in place at a union workplace. I reblog a fair number of posts about how people should organize, but if you're like me, you might not know exactly what that can get you until you've actually gone through the process. Every contract is different because you bargain for what makes sense for your particular workplace, and every few years you re-negotiate with the employer to improve things in the next contract, but some things (like the right to have union representation when you talk to your boss about leave or discipline) are universal.

It's worth every penny of your dues, I promise.

if its 1:00am when you're reading this you know what to do!

that's right! it's research traditional methods of moroccan architecture, which follow strict mathematic structures and formulas to create stunning tilework and arches, often also utilizing a special form of clay endemic to morocco famed for its sculptural qualities which are difficult and even impossible to reproduce in other regions! additionally, the cultural significance of the various motifs and colors used throughout moroccan architecture, both in religious and in secular buildings, are distinct and highly formalized, honed over many h

FUCK YEAH MOROCCAN ARCHITECTURE

have you looked into muqarnas yet?

yes! i was actually referencing muqarnas when speaking about the clay! morocco's carved clay and plaster muqarnas are famous for their intricacy and detailed fretting!

Sometimes muqarnas are carved wood. Regardless, Moroccan architecture is ABSOLUTELY BONKERS.

Descriptions in alt:

Me deciding to research traditional methods of morrocan architecture

im expecting a lot of "pride month is over, now it's time for wrath month" posts. that's cool and all. but july is disability pride month.

pride month is when you're SUPPOSED to be angry. it's a celebration AND a riot. that was the best time to get angry. second best time is now. but it's not wrath month. let disabled people have this.

please get angry with us. please fight with us! we are both losing our rights, if we ever even had them to begin with. please don't talk over us, especially during our own pride month.

did you know over 10,000 people die a year while waiting to be told whether or not they can receive disability benefits?

did you know while being provided disability benefits, disabled people cannot have more than $2,000 total in their bank account? the average rent for an apartment in the united states, as of last month, is $1,995. per month.

while they want to kill queer people, they want to kill disabled people just as bad. please look out for your disabled friends and family. please look out for those of us who don't have friends and family. those of us who are out on the streets.