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why are birds so cursed

A Non-Comprehensive List of Birds That Piss Me Off

1. Dracula Parrot. This thing pisses me off like, a bunch

2. King Vulture. the felted craft project equivalent of a haunted ventriloquist dummy

i will never not resent this bird 

 3. Jacana Bird. This is the most unnecessary cursed nonsense. i deserve an apology for having to look at this. I can feel its fingers stroking my ears

No it does not have SIX FREAKING LIMBS. it’s carrying its stupid creepy spawn under its wings. A+ parents but still, piss off. even the normal 2 legged version isn’t much better

put those AWAY.

4. The Shoebill, which i’m sure we’re all sick of hearing about. this thing is the epitome of a crappy photorealistic cgi disney villainy. i despise this bird.

also this is what they look like standing up. i just feel like i shouldn’t have to deal with that, i really do.

5. Inca Tern. truly, hipsters ruin everything

6. Tragopan. it looks like a star wars species, which i dislike on principle 

7. The Secretary Bird. it wears yoga pants.

also i’m uncomfortable with the length of its eyelashes

8. finally, i really dislike this one specific parakeet

in conclusion, these birds exist to haunt me and this knowledge is a burden. birds exist to observe our sin; always watching, they are filled with malice. flee from them

fucks me up that by total coincidence the sun and moon's size difference is exactly matched to their difference in distance from us, thus making our beautiful total solar eclipses where you can see the silver threads of the sun's corona possible because the moon just covers the sun completely

The stars (literally) aligned just right for this experience to be possible. It's likely that aliens don't have this

The moon is also absolutely gargantuan by moon standards. It isn't the largest moon in the solar system, but it is BY FAR the largest in comparison with its planet. Ganymede is the largest satellite of Jupiter and the largest moon in the solar system. Its diameter is only about 3.8% of Jupiter's. Titan's radius is 4.4% of Saturn's. Callisto and Io are the next largest in the neighborhood, with 3.4% and 2.6% the diameter of Jupiter respectively.

Our moon is number 5. It is smaller in direct comparison to the above moons. The diameter of the moon is 3475 km. That is a full 27% of the diameter of the Earth. More than a quarter. That's ridiculous. It's unheard of. The universe is large enough that the word unique probably doesn't mean a lot, but this might be about as close as you get.

This has had a huge impact on our planet. Other things aliens might not have are significant tides. One of Mars's dumpy little potatoes wouldn't be able to move oceans the way our moon does.

Our moon has also stabilized our axis to a massive degree. Without her up there our axis would wobble all over the place and our climate would be far more chaotic. Aliens might not be quite so lucky.

I guess what I am really trying to say is that the moon is extremely cool. I like the moon.

Just want to add that the reason we have such a large moon is because a whole planet crashed into proto-Earth. Theia (the planet) and Earth got so superheated by this collision that their component cores fused and the impact jettisoned a lot of material into space. That massive amount of jettisoned material became our moon. So Earth and the moon have very similar composition. This does not seem to be a common method of lunar formation.

what if the answer to the fermi paradox is that life cant exist without a moon like luna

I got a serious beef with the Fermi paradox. There is no Fermi paradox. There stopped being a Fermi paradox once the first radio telescopes went up, and we began to get a true sense of the sheer scale of the universe.

Space is big, empty, and loud. Sunspots can cause enough interference to affect global communications. We’re not even loud enough to talk over our own sun. On our own planet. We can barely communicate with Voyager, and we know exactly where it is and what its signal sounds like.

The Fermi paradox is like doubting the existence of Belfast, because you stood on a windy New York beach shouting towards it and didn’t get an answer.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

Trees, like animals, can also experience albinism, though it is extremely rare.

the reason it’s rare is because without chlorophyll, the plant can’t get energy, and dies shortly after sprouting unless it has some other source of food. so if you see a plant as big as the one in the picture that doesn’t have any green in its leaves, it’s getting its nutrition from the roots of a neighboring plant of the same species, feeding on the sugars created by the other plant’s photosynthesis.

albino plants are basically vampires.

For a long time, scientists thought they were parasites, and couldn’t figure out why the bigger plants didn’t release chemicals to kill them.

Turns out, the lil’ ghost redwoods benefit their hosts by filtering toxins and acting as a sort of backup immune system.

They’re vampires, and they’re commensal, symbiotic mutualists!

this is super cool! I had no idea

This is among the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

we’ve already discovered forests where trees share nutrients with young or disadvantaged trees and forests where trees can ask their neighbors for some extra food (they literally send a signal requesting aid, via the web of fungus that connects their roots) and forests where surrounding tees will keep a tree alive even when it has been reduced to a stump through some tragedy…

so, while i love the playfulness of “vampire” and i commend the specificity of “commensal, symbiotic mutualists” i think it’s worth considering, at this point, if “member of the community” might not be at least as apt

always remember, friend,

now go in peace

This meme was inspired by the piece "Lucky 10,000" by Randall Monroe.

[ID: “One man’s [“Yeah, the Time Knife, we’ve all seen it” meme] is another man’s [“Was anyone going to tell me?” meme] /End ID]

internet heiroglyphics

babysitting a kid right now, and hes pretend napping and ive got lullaby music on and everything (this is something he likes to do.) and hes pretending to sleep talk. This is all normal enough except the only words hes choosing to say are *snoooooorrre*…… cinnamon challenge…. my god………..Cinnamon challeng………..

Same kid just passed me a note reading “I Ned Car”

I was like why do you need a car? And he just sighed and kicked the floor and said “Needa get outta here man.”.

Sure

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

Unmute !

Thought process of announcers: why don’t we get another ball…?

OR MayBE WE SHOULD GET A CHEERLEADER! THEY’RE USED TO GOING UP HIGH

OH LOOK, THE CHEERLEADER HAS DONE IT

this video is so dangerous why did he put this in the public’s hands. killers can watch it after every kill and be able to get into the kingdom of heaven and then keep killing in heaven all they want

:(

The sheer chaos in this is my vibe

Never quit never give-up!

It's really this. And some people (guess who) really hate it.

We have in this equation many, many people who, more than anything else, fear their own deaths... the final and most dreadful loss of control. After they die (and here comes their greatest terror!) the young will remake the world in their own image... there being no (putative) grownups any more to stop them.

So they're presently trying to alter political structures all over the planet in such a way as to prevent the Naughty Youngs from too quickly undoing everything their (theoretically Wise Old) elders have done. They're intent on running your lives by their rules for absolutely as long as possible, even after they're dead.

...Now. There's a lot of "Don't expect the young to save us!" stuff out there, and sometimes I half suspect those other People are behind that too. (Admittedly, it's too easy when you're young and busy to blink your eyes open after a long night out and mutter "Yeah, you made this mess, save yourselves!")

But there's a way in which this is also ridiculous. Because... honestly. They expect a generation (indeed, more than one generation) raised on Luke Skywalker to fall for that?

Pitiful.

There are way too many potential heroes out there. Likely enough you're one. You don't even have to blow up a fully operational battle station to manifest this heroism! Just vote. Or help someone vote. Or more than one someone. Help voters in your community to register. Help defeat obvious attempts to gerrymander voters out of control of their own districts. Do the little things. Enough little things can't be stopped by the forces that assume everybody else to be as lazy and selfish as they are.

You outnumber the fascists. Stand up and act like it. "Snowflakes", they call us? Get enough snowflakes together and you've got an avalanche. Tried standing in front of one of those lately?

Meanwhile, I for one have no problems with saying, loudly, "Save us, O Young! You're our only hope." (Imagine me as a holographic projection if you must.) :)

And for now, I'll be out there doing what one person can.

Please, you do that too!

Wait, beneath the sea floor?

OUGHGH??

OIUOHGHHVOIH!!!!!

Look below the sea floor and you may find a little dude and friend

Portrait of a Young Woman, Jean-Etienne Liotard 

Girl with a Pearl Earring, Johannes Vermeer 

#they look like theyve been having a chat about u and u just walked in

I’m on mobile, somebody edit them into this please

Y'all take too long

Same energy

No worries guys, they’re there too

girl I would kill myself if I did that lol

reading harry potter actively makes you less literate

j why did you censor the name of the scottish play

I think doing that is way funnier than saying the Scottish play, and I’m not going to risk actually saying the name and having something bad happen

i just realized despite me making fun of you for saying m*cbeth, i refused to say it myself. i am fucked up

even I, the op, flinched while writing it in the notes 😔

do y’all only post from inside a theatre?

All the world's a stage, catgirlforeskin.

sesame street gets exponentially funnier as you age. god i love it

I've waited years to draw this

https://www.the-pro-creator.com/2019/01/I-hate-adobe-and-so-should-you.html

I’m posting the links here because the link keeps on a loop with adfly

IF YOU DRAW OR DESIGN Instead of PHOTOSHOP, try GIMP Instead of LIGHTROOM, try PAINT.DOT.NET Instead of ILLUSTRATOR, try INKSCAPE Instead of INDESIGN, try CANVA or SCRIBUS

IF YOU MAKE PICTURES MOVE Instead of PREMIERE, try DAVINCI RESOLVE Instead of ANIMATE/FLASH, try OPENTOONZ or BLENDER Instead of AFTER EFFECTS, try WAX, BLENDER or FUSION

IF YOU BUILD WEBSITES OR SOFTWARE Instead of DREAMWAVER, SPARK or XD, try WIX, WEEBLY, or WORDPRESS.COM or WORDPRESS.ORG

IF YOU DO STUFF THAT REQUIRES THESE OTHER PROGRAMS Instead of AUDITION, try AUDACITY Instead of ACROBAT PRO, try FOXIT READER or PDF ESCAPE Instead of INCOPY, try LOVING YOURSELF AND USING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE (WHO USES THIS???)

IF YOU NEED STOCK PHOTOS OR FONTS Instead of ADOBE STOCK, try PEXELS, UNSPLASH, or PIXABAY Instead of ADOBE PHONTS, try GOOGLE FONTS or DAFONT

BONUS: If you need FREE MUSIC OR SOUND EFFECTS, try YOUTUBE AUDIO LIBRARY or SOUNDBIBLE

My bonuses:

IF YOU DRAW OR DESIGN Instead of PHOTOSHOP, try FIREALPACA , SAI , SKETCHBOOK or KRITA (these latter two are great!) Instead of LIGHTROOM, try PHOTOSCAPE

IF YOU MAKE PICTURES MOVE Instead of PREMIERE, try SHOTCUT Instead of ANIMATE/FLASH, try PENCIL2D ANIMATION, LIVE2D, OR E-MOTE

IF YOU NEED STOCK PHOTOS Instead of ADOBE STOCK, try MORGUEFILE.COM