One memory that I've come to recontextualize as a manifestation of infodumping now that I've self determined as autistic is how, when I was in 4th and 5th grade, I LOVED learning about animals. I could talk and talk and talk about animal facts. I would correct people immediately if they said things about animals that I knew to be false, thinking, "They wouldn't want to have misinformation about animals. I'm sure they'll appreciate the correction." If you said something like "blind as a bat" near me, you would hear about it. I found animals fascinating and it didn't occur to me that others didn't.
When I did learn that, it became harder to talk to others. As many have pointed out, infodumping is less about the subject of the infodump, and more about showing someone how much you like them and enjoy spending time with them by being willing to share your knowledge on something. So when I realized that infodumping was more likely to push others away or make them think I was weird, I was really lost and didn't know how to connect with others in a way that they would recognize as me trying to be their friend.
I often didn't understand the references others made or interests they had. Most of the times that I tried to be interested in something my classmates seemed to be interested in, it backfired. Once, for instance, I noticed others talking about music they liked. I thought about what music I liked, which wasn't that much because I didn't follow celebrity culture. I think most of the people I felt I was a fan of were people who had performed as the musical guest on All That at some point. I would think to myself, "Yes, now I have something to talk about them because I like music, and they like music." Then I would ask my parents for permission to buy CDs by artists whose music I enjoyed.
Then, I come to find out that the celebrities I happened to choose were ones that classmates thought was uncool. So then I didn't feel I could speak about this subject either, and I had to go back to the drawing board. It's not to say I never had any friends, but before undergrad, none of my friendships never lasted longer than 2 or 3 years back then. Not just because of this dynamic; other factors were involved, but still. It probably didn't help that I felt I couldn't be genuine, I'm sure. Feeling chastened against communicating about a subject I was passionate about made social interaction way harder than it needed to be.
Anyway, I don't have a much more complicated conclusion than, I think the world would be a much better place if it was socially acceptable to ask people what animal fact they learned recently and what their favorite animals were, instead of, like, the weather, and asking "how are you" when it's also not socially acceptable to say anything other than "fine," or maybe "tired."
