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i'm not as tough as i portray to be

@sadboyamart-blog

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you really hurt me i know nothing was for sure and that we were just talking, but you lead me into thinking that something could happen, that we were a possibility but what i didn't know was that she still filled your mind, that no matter what you told me, you still hoped she would take you back so you wouldn't have to move on and while that hurts, stings even, i get it, and i can't completely be mad at you without being hypocritical, because i've been so in love with someone before to have someone fill your mind all the time, someone that although hurt you and messed you up, you still completely want and will forgive everything, i get it, i do but i just wish it weren't the case
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we've connected we've had this amazing connection one i've never had with anyone else but now that i'm alone in the darkness of the night i've realized that it's nothing our connection is nothing because at the end of the day it's her the one you want it is she the one who lingers in your brain i guess that's the thing about us you can't really count on much more than just this

i want more than this

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reblogged
Heartbreak isn’t being curled up in bed crying, it’s not being able to sleep in your own fucking bed because you cannot stomach the fact your sheets still smell like him and you’re motivation to clean them left when he did.

An excerpt from a poem I’m writing (via bruisedxgalaxies)

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tullipsink
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writteninkpoetry
So if one day you decide to pack up all your things and leave please remember to take your scattered I love you’s and your drunken two am phone calls because no matter how bad I would want to pick up I wont and if one day you decide to leave I promise I will try not to cry and beg you to stay even if my heart is breaking into a million pieces I’ll smile and pretend things are fine just to show you that I am strong and i do not need you to love me and if one day you decide to pack up all your things and leave please don’t come back

If you leave, I promise I will try not to cry and beg you to stay (via writteninkpoetry)

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danceforo12
Tell me where to package Your mouth and your teeth your eyes and your heart and your god damn collarbones They’re not sure where to go anymore And the smile I had just for you? The one I kept for 2 am With the lights off in your bed Where do I put that? Do I tuck it under my bed in a box Labeled do not touch for fear of lighting a match I won’t be able to put out again? Or do I rip it into pieces like paper And let it fly out the window And the “I love you” The “I can’t believe I get to wake up next to you” The “I missed you today did you miss me too?” Do I tuck them under my lashes For when the pain becomes too much to bear And shed them out with the tears? Tell me where you put the love so quickly Give me somewhere to put everything you gave up on So that I can look like I’m good at living without you, too.

Packing (via loveserum)

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danceforo12
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blossomfully
I want you to know that - i. It doesn’t matter that we ended. Life moves on. People forget. Friends become strangers. The ones that you love(d) change. ii. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I did. In my own convoluted, messy way. I did. iii. I’m sorry I couldn’t heal the wounds in your chest, I tried. I’m sorry for creating them. I never knew that I was capable of hurting anyone like that until I hurt you. iv. But… I know that war is never one sided. Sometimes, sometimes I feel like I lost a limb in that battle too. v. When it comes down to it, I’m grateful for our moments of silence, our moments of peace, interspersed with laughter. I’m grateful for your kindness. vi. Maybe I’ll never stop writing about you.   vii. But you should probably stop reading what I write. viii. The truth is that some nights I still feel unbearable. But I’m getting there, I’m getting there. Most days now, I feel alright.

Sue Zhao // A Letter (via blossomfully)

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danceforo12
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blossomfully
“She was too fragile,” you tell them. “She cried too much. She felt too many things.“  The next girl you love will be calmer, you think to yourself. Less argumentative. Less emotional. I walk along the river on Christmas Eve. The next boy I love won’t make me cry, I think to myself. I’ve learned my lesson this time. The next boy I love won’t make me cry.

Sue Zhao  (via blossomfully)

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tullipsink
And maybe maybe maybe this is more than something and you ache to hear my voice too and maybe maybe maybe you think about me when you’re busy and not just when you’re lonely and maybe maybe maybe you look for me in crowded places because baby, i look for you everywhere and maybe maybe maybe you love me like i love you and we are more than something like two lost souls finding each other for the first time

A.M// maybe maybe maybe pt 2 (via tullipsink)

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gosh

I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you’re gone and I’m haunted And I bet you’re just fine Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Source: Spotify