i mean the Animorphs didn’t get rid of the pain of being a man. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like I understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did not get rid of the pain of being a man.

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

im begging all of you to stop reblogging th is

Your actions have consequences

$0

Gonna start a promising new career as a Tumblr fake etymologist

Did you know that when people say "hey dial it down" that's a reference to the old days of the internet when you'd "dial up" to get online and "dial down" to get off and touch grass

When you say you're a "fan" of something it's because you "make it cool"

Gonna start a promising new career as a Tumblr etymology fact checker

You're gonna tell everyone I'm correct about everything right? *venmos you $30* *venmos you $50*

Gonna start a promising new career as a Tumblr investigative reporter focusing on etymology fact checking fraud

[calling my cousin in the mafia] Hey remember when you said you owe me one

I’m not going to lie, I misread the opening post and was very confused at the lack of fake bug facts.  Anyone want a promising new career?

i know hearing people on this website love to pass around those posts with links to free sign language lessons but you know you need to actually put effort into learning about Deaf culture, too, right?

if you are currently learning ASL, you need to read Introduction to American Deaf Culture by Thomas K. Holcomb

resources for other Deaf cultures include, but are not limited to:

Oh no, you must've misheard me. I never said morally GRAY, I said morally GAY. As in he takes a certain homosexual approach to dealing with ethical dilemmas. Also he's killed 200 people

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Pretty excited about Pokemon Sleep

wait ok mutuals what do you guys call your parents???????

anddd…. SCENE! thank you to everyone who participated

Fuck you mean Homestuck Pool Party Drowning

I fucking love it when people lie on this site

most disgusting part of Tumblr Culture is the kid who love to sag their pirt. not only to sag the jam lid, but to pirt it up. what a waste.

what language is this

english

but in 3018

listen, the year 2018. you are living in the year 2018. and in centuries and centuries, who tid what to rilt or jilt around, so you better appreciate it for what you have. lot of people would stic or joiler to have what you did.

listen to me

dude what the fuck

aaauuuuuuuu auu auu auuuuu…

i know god is real because if he wasnt i wouldnt live in a world where i can witness a 24-hour tumblr bit about a homestuck kinnie trying to drown a ronald reagan kinnie

You could tell Eggman you’re trans and he’d immediately be like “Hoho! How would you like to try my brand new ULTRA MEGA TESTOSTERONE?!” And like it’d absolutely work but he’d definitely be using it as one of the benefits of joining the Eggman Empire. Which also has dental.

You’d work for Eggman and be like “Hey boss just so you know I’m a girl now,” and he’d be like “Oh okay, do you want more giant spikes on the robot mech I gave you?” Because his only frame of reference for girly things is Neo Metal Sonic and Amy so it’s either huge spikes or huge hammers.

sorry this comment has fucking taken me out. everyone thank matpat game theory for throwing the first brick

When Hollywood runs out of franchises to reboot, they'll turn to early 2000s' Top 40.

baby gays on tik tok losing their minds over seeing a lesbian call their masc lesbian partner their boyfriend, claiming it’s “chronically online.” where’s the stone butch blues meme.

I want to say that with trans folk now being at risk of the fucking death sentence in Florida....

The time for community is Now. The time to start planning and organizing how to get our rights back is NOW. bring it up at your local LGBT craft events or book club or support group or whatever. Tell your friends. Spread the word. And maybe see which ones will have the safety and resources you'll need should a Lavender Hunt happen in your area.

And on the scarier end of reality....

This is fucking terrifying. Lots of people are at risk. Personally, I'm terrified this rhetoric will spread much like Trumpism did. I'm scared for my gf and I'm fucking scared for myself because we know historically that it isn't just trans folk on HRT or drag performers that they go after.

And you have every right to do whatever you need to protect yourself.

I'm not going to shame folks who quit HRT, who take the rainbows out of their bio, the people who start saying partner instead of revealing a gender, or anyone else taking a few steps towards the safety that the closet provides. WE shouldn't.

I fucking love you. And we'll be okay as long as we're together, okay?

We keep us safe

This is what I'm talking about for the people unaware.

I looked up the lavender scare last night and was sadly unsurprised to see that the last time the community came together...was a lavender scare.

Pride was a riot because the government started doing to us then what Florida is doing to us now. It was triggered when a man was fired from his job on grounds of being gay and tried to take it to court.

This is why we have pride. This is why "think of the children" is/was an awful rhetoric to push at leather daddies and drag queens. It's not just a bad opinion or stupid discourse, it's a talking point for the right wing to justify fucking kill us.

It was never "just discourse" it was a right wing psyop to cripple us from coming together to fight against attacks just like this.

Your enemies aren't other queer people with labels you don't like. Those are your allies. Because you know who else doesn't like them?

Nazis.

And they don't like you either even if you have a "normal" queer identity and you don't make it "your whole personality" or whatever.

You're both still queer. And that's all they care about. Trying to placate bigots wont save you. Quit playing the part of "acceptable gay" and throwing everyone else under the bus.

Besides, that they WERE thinking of the children when they started those riots dressed in stuff that makes you squirm. They were thinking of You. Of your life. Your children. Queer children.

Hey y'all please reblog this version so people can see the article and explanation, there are a few confused people only seeing earlier versions that dont explain the connection/threat because it doesn't have the article.

An interstate rainbow railroad.

For those unaware that's this. It's been done before.

A lot of people are scared. And I really, really want you to know that the riots started because someone scared asked for help and people answered

It wasn't organized. It just happened. People decided to risk it at a moments notice.

This is ours. And we've done it before.

Stormé Delariverie, the Stonewall Lesbian that triggered it all.

And everyone who was there for her.

Were just like us

So how do we do this?

I played that level in Mario Kart but that was it. I wanna be there for you, we all do, how do we do that?

I bet one of us could call and just ask. Who doesn't have anxiety. Oh wait it's posted on their site :)

Kinda reads like a How To 👀

Find your niche and offer it.

People need help, you figure out how/who can, and then you follow through.

What can You do?

Because you are not nearly as powerless as they want you to believe, especially with some help.

reblog this if you think the toggle for tumblr live should be permanent instead of a 7-day snooze

trying to prove something to @staff

User hostile UI design is why I left Instagram for tumblr, don’t let the UI become awful here too

There is no reason "don't show me this thing" should be temporary, for any aspect of the UI.

Tumblr Live should be no different. People who don't want it, should not have to keep saying so.

AND when the toggle switch says "snooze," it should be OFF. You shouldn't have to turn it ON and then BACK OFF to snooze it.

Goldie Williams, Arrested For Vagrancy & Refused to Unfold Her Arms and Stop Making This Face For Her 1898 Mugshot. (Omaha, Nebraska)

Queen

the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays