"Keir Starmer: Labour are the real conservatives"
I never want to hear Labour folk say they are a party of the left ever again lmao.
Imagine those adverts. "Hey GAMERZ, PUZZLERZ & MUSIC LOVERZ! Labour are the real conservatives"
Get fucked.

"Keir Starmer: Labour are the real conservatives"
I never want to hear Labour folk say they are a party of the left ever again lmao.
Imagine those adverts. "Hey GAMERZ, PUZZLERZ & MUSIC LOVERZ! Labour are the real conservatives"
Get fucked.
What happened to you? Did you run here?
RUN LOLA RUN | LOLA RENNT (1998)
dir. Tom Twyker.
my online child describing amphibians:
no no, theyve got a point
Reblog for the bi rights frog
The devil walks into your work on a Thursday.
“Hi,” you say, “welcome to McDonalds.”
The devil clops up to the register, red eyes sliding from the cartoonish picture of Grimace, to the Coca Cola drying in the grout, to the ketchup stain on your pale blue button down.
“What can I get started for you today,” you prod when he continues to stare.
“Uh,” he says. “I came for your soul?”
Your smile slips for a moment before you can pin it back in place. Thank goodness your manager is on their lunch. “We don’t sell that, I’m sorry. Have you tried a Big Mac?”
“I know McDonald’s doesn’t sell souls,” the devil says. “Your parents sold your soul. Before you were born.”
“Oh,” you say. That would explain…a lot, actually. “Well. I’m at work, so…can you collect later?”
“I’m owed your soul on your 18th birthday,” he says.
“It’s my birthday today?” You glance at the register. “Wow. I forgot.”
“That is so fucking sad,” the devil says. He punched the bridge if his nose. “When is your shift over?”
“3am.”
“Jesus,” the devil says. He turns on his hoof. “I’m going to go buy you a cake or something.”
“Wow,” you say. You press a hand over your heart. “That—that actually would make my week.”
“And that’s sad,” the devil calls over his shoulder. “See you at 3!”
Now you have a reason to look forward to getting off work.
2:30 am rolled in at such a snails pace, but you kept that plastered mask on the whole night.
You had to deal with a rainbow of people all day. From rich kids looking down on you to that poor homeless guy that comes by asking for your stale fries.
Your boss had watched over you and your coworkers and have scolded you a few dozen times for not upselling, or even appeasing the Karen at max volume.
But now you were doing the one thing no one in a McDonald's would dare do. You cleaned the mc flurry machine. A rare sight to see and probably the only working one in town.
You hear the chime, the chime of dread, your stomach drops, and you fix that mask turning to face the next customer.
Only to internally sigh in relief. Oh good, its just the Devil.
He walks in with what appears to be a medium sized box. He still looked as disgruntled as before. Maybe even more so as he looks around the dingy Mc Donald's.
"Welcome back! You're early!"
"Is... that.. a working mc flurry mechine?" He answers instead looking over you. You nod with perhaps a hint of pride.
"Yes Sir! Just cleaned it. Would you like one?" You can see him staring into your soul. Which, you suppose is his soul now.
"No. Just.. be done already."
You nod to him watching him clop over to a table setting the box down. Huh... your soul is now his? You didn't have time to think about that.
Your manager pops their head out from the back. "Hey. Josh said he's gonna be late. Need you to...." you glance over to see your manager staring at the gargantuan devil sitting there. He looks back causing your manager to freeze in horror. You never seen them so pale.
"Your employee quits as of this moment. Figure out your own issues. Leave." He said with menacing eyes that flash. Your manager turns around and books it to the back, possibly to pray for forgiveness.
You take that as your cue to clock out. You offer a goodbye to your boss but they won't have any of it.
The devil watches you slip from out behind the counter now with even more distain. Your pants look... questionable.
"How often do you even do laundry?"
"If I can have a day off that doesn't involve driving my younger siblings to and from their music classes and tutors."
The devil stares in disgust now understanding what your parents did.
They sold their first born and invested in the younger siblings.
And they say the devil is the worst..
"Just... damnit just sit down."
You do as he sets out two golden plates opening up the box to reveal a professionally made cake with a black marble icing and gold flakes. Set on top are black candles that's wax looks to shimmer like a dark rainbow. The flames flicker and crackle shifting from one color to another. Its beautiful.
You don't know what you were expecting. You almost expected a cheap sheet cake from the store down the street.
"... happy birthday... make a wish I guess... blow out your candle..."
You smile, you make the same wish you made every year. "I wish for a pet." You don't say it out loud. It was out of habit even though you know it won't come true. Least you now understand why.
You blow out the candle and it gives off a sigh like a ghost had escaped your lips.
You watch this soft glowing whisp floats around you while the devil cuts you a piece of cake. You only look back when you hear your fork be set next to your plate.
"Thank you.. its a lovely cake."
He brushes it off. "Just.. eat."
You enjoy your cake as he watches. After a moment he speaks.
"Your parents sold your soul to me."
"Mmhmm.."
"Meaning you belong to me."
"Mmm"
"In hell."
When you clear your mouth you reply. "So, what will I be? Burning punished for all eternity? Slave labor? Dealing with karens?"
He stares at you not sure if he should feel impressed or bothered by the fact you just don't seem that fazed.
"Souls sold to me become whatever I feel like them being. You..." he stares at you as you enjoy more of your cake.
"Your not even fazed by the fact your going to hell."
You shake your head. Simply enjoying the sinfully delicious cake.
"You could be tasked with cleaning up hell hound shit."
"Oh! This mean I can see hells good bois??"
"...... you could be handing out toys for orgys...?"
"Sounds like they be having fun."
"Cleaning up torture chambers?"
"Have you seen the bathrooms?"
The devil takes a breath to compose himself. Mortals these days... whats the point of hell when theres a worse one on earth?
When your full he closes the box, the plate and fork vanish.
"Come with me"
You oblige following him out of the McDonald's.
He doesn't even bother asking about if you have a car. He already knew that answer.
"Your going to be one of my messengers to the other realms."
You blink looking up at him.
"Really? Nothing nasty like the ones you mentioned?"
"Look kid, if you can keep a straight face serving me, practically live like your in hell, and still be the only few willing to keep a mc flurry working.. I'd rather you go deliver things to and from hell to like... I dont know anubis or Hades."
You follow along your little whisp still dancing around you.
"Okay... one more question..."
He sighs "what?"
"Can I pet a hell hound?"
"....... yes.... yes you can pet a hell hound."
“Jason Mendoza is the embodiment of somebody with a wisdom score of 20 and an intelligence of 8” - (x) @pearwaldorf
intelligence of 8 seems generous
It’s not even really that he’s dumb, it’s that he put all his smart points into areas that allowed him to survive a hellhole like Jacksonville. Like, the logistics of scheduling practice sessions for a fifty person dance crew are a nightmare, you’ve gotta have SOME intelligence to figure that out.
This is someone who had to pretend to be a big dog to see a vet for medical care because he didn’t have access to human medical care. He adapted to the situation he was born in, and his situation selected for the survival of those who can make a Molotov cocktail in the blink of an eye vs those who can pronounce God knows what horrible secret ingredients are in Stupid Nick’s chicken wings sauce.
I think an under-discussed component of "Twink Death" is that whatever allowance we are awarded to express femininity and androgyny is tied to youth. It can be charming in a "boyish" way, but it's a phase we're supposed to grow out of when we reach a certain age and revert to the generic category of men. Are many afraid to age because we live in a youth-obsessed culture and want to remain fuckable? Well yes, but I see a real fear that suddenly our gender expression will be seen as embarrassing or perverted. It's also of course fucked up that gender expression should be tied to body type to begin with!
Anyway let's talk solutions. Obsessing over the word "Twink" is a symptom of people's only exposure to gay culture being porn and Grindr. Offline, the word you're looking for is QUEEN. The term doesn't depend on age, body type or race. It's sometimes honorific, sometimes bitchy, always from the heart. We all need to get offline and meet role models who prove we have long, flamboyant gay lives ahead of us. Queens with robust social and sex lives, fat queens, balding queens, queens with thick regional accents, Black queens and fems to whom we owe the world, all of them. Feminine gays who are afraid to age: your femininity will not wither away but ferment and flourish into something powerful and inspiring. Live in defiance of a culture that says femininity has an expiration date. Who cares about being a twink? Be a queen.
music for autistic 12 year olds to feel evil to
I hate this as an ex autistic 12 year old.
This is true though.
they took your autism??!?!!
hey can we talk about the fact that during our last battle that strange wizard we let join the party shouted "evil blast!" and then black lightning bursted from their fingertips?
🧙♂️ strangewizard Follow
i wouldn’t worry about it if i were you
Indian history is a straight up bitch to research. They never fucking recorded anything!!! Like Ever!!! There are entire dynasties spanning centuries for who we don't even know who the empress/queen was! That's the second most important person in a kingdom! Most historical texts are a mix of fact and fiction. Thank you Caste System. Seriously, in the same time we have entire novel length texts from China, Egypt, the Mayans, Rome, Greece and most of the world! The first proper record of history that you can actually prove like the work of Livy in Rome is from Megasthenes who is Greek! This is so fucking frustrating! That was in the BC. Even in the AD there are entire dynasties where we don't know who the fucking Queen is!
Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.
What about those who never even recorded it?
The big discourse on twitter right now is that writers going on strike or cancelling their own series are breaking an invisible “contract” they made with their fans and all creators owe their fans a satisfying conclusion to their stories. Actually all fans owe all creators for entertaining them and if a creator says “I don’t want to perform this labor anymore,” then regardless of the cliffhanger that leaves you with, your only response should be “take care! Thank you for all your hard work!!!” :)
Like it or not… this.
moldova is giving yoga teacher who definitely sleeps with his students and keeps trying to invite you to an exclusive ""retreat"" that's totally not a cult
So just a regular Jared Leto?
win: mahmood
loss: hes singing imagine
win: his english is terrible
gotta love financial "advice" like:
"you should aim to have at least $100,000 per year after taxes" motherfucker if i made six digits i wouldnt need to look up financial advice.
my roommate bought a VR headset at a flea market. it’s got no company name on it, except for a stylized logo no one can figure out. She tried to get it working but couldn’t, so I’m taking a look. It’s got warnings about lasers on it and it says “for testing and development only, not for resale”. It’s got weird padded sections that go over your head, not just over your eyes.
I think I’ve read this mind control story. I’m about to get hypnotized into being a mindless drone, aren’t I?
No one can figure out what this logo says
You know, I was 100% joking, but there appears to be a weird magnet in the forehead section. Fortunately magnets can’t influence the brain OH WAIT WHAt’S THIS WIKIPEDIA LINK HOW DID IT GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER
why does it appear to have lights around the eyeholes? why would you shine lights in the face of the user? that seems counterproductive.
It’s got cameras inside the headset. Guess where they aim?
Right in your eyes, of course.
The lights around the eyes look broken to the naked eye.
BUT IF YOU USE A CAMERA…
Oh look, it’s invisible to the naked eye. I’m sure that’s fine.
(this is for iris tracking)
Hey op??? Please tell us how the VR headset felt,,, was it a good VR headset
my roommate bought a VR headset at a flea market. it’s got no company name on it, except for a stylized logo no one can figure out. She tried to get it working but couldn’t, so I’m taking a look. It’s got warnings about lasers on it and it says “for testing and development only, not for resale”. It’s got weird padded sections that go over your head, not just over your eyes.
I think I’ve read this mind control story. I’m about to get hypnotized into being a mindless drone, aren’t I?
No one can figure out what this logo says
You know, I was 100% joking, but there appears to be a weird magnet in the forehead section. Fortunately magnets can’t influence the brain OH WAIT WHAt’S THIS WIKIPEDIA LINK HOW DID IT GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER
why does it appear to have lights around the eyeholes? why would you shine lights in the face of the user? that seems counterproductive.
It’s got cameras inside the headset. Guess where they aim?
Right in your eyes, of course.
The lights around the eyes look broken to the naked eye.
BUT IF YOU USE A CAMERA…
Oh look, it’s invisible to the naked eye. I’m sure that’s fine.
(this is for iris tracking)
Science needs to explain us why "old" flutes have such a chokehold on eurovision fans
She alphabet on my completionist until i twenty six out of twenty six
she quickly jumps over my brown fox til i'm a lazy dog
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
26/26