the signs, yo

Aries: Funniest rants, trust me; Seems like a badass, but they’re harmless until you seriously piss them off; Do not piss them off, their limits are usually reasonable and they will fight you; Unafraid to act, especially to defend you; Always thinking about what’s coming up next; Great at starting projects they never completely finish; Sincere friends.

Taurus: Big, sweet cow eyes; Honestly just hug them and never let go, it’ll be the best decision you ever make; Warm aura; They’ll embarrass themselves, but it’s endearing instead of cringe-worthy; Calm presence; Naturally reserved, but they will let you in if you genuinely care; Unintentionally funny; Some quality of theirs makes people look up to them.

Gemini: They try so hard, bless their hearts; Cutest clothes; One of you is going to have a crush on the other; Awkward in a way that makes tension disappear; Unintentionally attracts trouble; It doesn’t occur to them to not put up with your shit; Not very considerate to your emotions unless they’re helping you with a specific issue; Super passionate about their fandoms and interests; Someone you can always talk to.

Cancer: Fucking dweebs that will laugh over the most bizarre things; Will always love you; Messy; They genuinely want you to do your best; They deeply care about all of their friends, too; Give great hugs; Take everything personally and fully invest themselves; They might get too wrapped up in something that doesn’t seem important to you, but just be patient with them, they’re worth it.

Leo: Simultaneously the most self-absorbed and caring people; Lucious locks; So intimidating, but it’s all a big, fat lie if you’re friends; Would kill for you; Childish and immature; Can actually be very practical minded; Really wants you to like them, but they’re not going to try hard for your approval; Let them have the last word because they’re going to have it eventually.

Virgo: Sad eyes that know the dark secrets of the world; They don’t feel in control, yet they try to be; Organized and methodical; Outwardly cynical (but they secretly hope for the best); If you meet their standards, consider yourself lucky; Big sister who will always help you with your problems; Feels most comfortable in a dark movie theater; Listen to them because they know what they’re talking about; Surprisingly patient.

Libra: They have a story for everything; Loves to go out with their loved ones; They spend a lot of time thinking over ideas and concepts; DILF; Lifelong friend that you can always turn to; Confidence booster; Can be surprisingly selfish sometimes; Indecisive as fuck; They’re going to win you over before you even realise it; Silently judgemental, but this doesn’t mean they take sides.

Scorpio: 10/10 would bang; Could destroy you effortlessly; Lifelong struggle bus ticket holder; Romantic love is not their strong suit; Darkly magnetic; Shared looks and inside jokes will be abundant when you hang out; Do not fuck with their friends; I repeat: do not fuck with their friends; seriously; avoid this at all costs; These are the type of people who will burn your house down and steal your boyfriend; If you fuck them over, they will cut ties forever, even if they still love you. They hold trustworthiness and honesty over everything else. To betray a scorpio is to betray yourself, and they will contemplate your demise in several different ways.

Sagittarius: They’re best friend material; Lots and lots of friends but few close friends; Attractive/ Magnetic; You’re going to find yourself thinking about them later; Can go literally anywhere and fit in; Histrionic; Will not put up with your bullshit at all; They seem like an open book, but this is not the case at all; Take themselves a little too seriously; More loyal than you could ask for.

Capricorn: Sassy as hell; Sarcasm actually flows through their veins; You will admire them; Always seemingly stable; They have the soundest advice; Tend to think they’re always right, and they aren’t exactly wrong about that; If they love you, it’s true; Good listeners and friends; Grouchy is their default emotion; Lowkey SUPER competitive, just let them win because they will literally never let it go ever.

Aquarius: You will fall in love with them, even if it doesn’t last; They’re going to make you laugh; They try to be forgiving creatures; Lowkey super stubborn about things they believe to be right; Really, really good at one area of expertise; Detail oriented; Highly sexual beings; They downplay their emotions; It’s hard to completely understand what they’re thinking about unless they explicitly tell you; Trust their gut because they’re going to be right.

Pisces: Hug them, please, they’ll really appreciate it; They’re probably going to fall in love with you, too; Trusting and trustworthy; Watch what you say around them because they’re very sensitive; Encourage them to trust their intuition more; They’ll be able to understand your feelings more deeply than any of the other signs; Insecure but so, so, so worthy; Would die for you; Sneaky; Need a favor? Call this babe.

🎀 Submissive rules 🎀

1. I will not hum the theme from jeopardy while Sir decides which implement to spank me with.

2. I will not annotate Sir’s “to do” list.

3. I will not applaud when Sir uses big words.

4. Sir’s cat does NOT stink.

5. Sir does NOT hog the bed.

6.I will not refer to Sir’s kitty as “snake food”

7.I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Sir’s penis

8. Sir’s chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.

9. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so Sir is not subjected to “those flowery things”

10. I will not yawn waiting for Sir to climax.

11. I will not chew my collar.

12. I will not giggle during paddlings.

13. I will not propose letter grades when Sir belches

14. I will not snarl when Sir ask to share my chocolate.

15. I will not tell Sir he has permission to Fuck me.

16. I will not say “good boy” to Sir

17. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Sir is tying me up.

18. I will not critique how Sir ties me up.

19. I will not go out of state when borrowing Sir’s car during lunch.

20. When Sir is kind enough to bring me tea I will not call him “the tea fairy”

21. I will not change the settings on Sir’s alarm clock.

22. It is unlikely that Sir pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.

23. I will not accuse Sir of being gay when he arranges the house in “artisticly pleasing ways”

24.I am always the spankee, I am never the spanker.

25.I will keep my fingertips off Sir’s computer screen.

26. I will not eat Sir’s leftovers without permission.

27. When asked how many spanks my behavior warrants I will not answer using fractions.

28. On second thought I WILL applaud when Sir uses big words…(this overrides rule number 3.)

29. Hooting and whistling, however is excessive.

30. I will be spanked for leaving the caps off Sir’s pens.

31. If it becomes obvious I am deliberately leaving the caps off Sir’s pens I will NOT be spanked. Even if I beg.

32. A warm Sir is a happy Sir.

33. I will not hoot with laughter when Sir accidently wacks himself in the back with the flogger.

Have I ever mentioned ??

Girls totally Fucking rule

Don’t you forget it

X x x x x x x

Blossoming

That’s how it started

Hide and seek under the stairs - pitch black but for a blinding bright crack from the edge of the door - a thin slice of sunlight - dust dancing across it.

Cousins. We had always been close but it was changing. I must have been 15 by then - George a year younger.

Giggling … but suddenly self conscious for the first time with him …

I had never seen a penis - except in biology where spermatozoa and ovaries dominated - that creepy symmetrical roadmap pinned beside the blackboard.

That can’t possibly be fun - a biological coupling. Reproduction.

Giggles behind hands in the corner of the playground. I’m not doing it.

And then the hormones.

I was late blooming. Only in the past year, much later than my friends, had I started to blossom and grow and ache.

I had started to take pleasure in touching myself at bedtime. Every night now. Sometimes during the day I’d push my bedroom door closed lie back, focus on the ceiling and slip my hand inside my panties. It felt naughty still - could God see me? Or my parents? - I’d always been a good girl but the feeling was coursing through me regularly now and unstoppable.

Pleasure first from the illicit - then from the sheer joy of touch and sex and knowing it was the start of my future life. Being grown up - which I want and pushing out into the world - like my swelling tits - which I don’t.

Why won’t sex leave me alone to get on with being a good girl - but it won’t.

Now it was flowing unstoppably through me. Changing me into my future. The monthly pain.

So - back to the moment under the stairs - I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.

An old joke from when we were little

Sort of - but it’s different now

Being the elder (it mattered still at that age) I know I have to take the first step I nudge the door slightly open so we can see a little

It was disappointing - nothing really - a wrinkled thing - smooth but pinched in to a wrinkled end

His hand cupping it self consciously as if protecting a cigarette from the wind.

Yuck.

A flash of my lightly fluffy sex. He has gone quiet. We both freeze and don’t know what to do next. I giggle from tension.

And suddenly it was a holiday tradition - each time I saw him a little bit more.

Christmas that year I touch it - wrap my hand right around him - felt a pulse, it twitches and bucks and for the first time we both knew it was serious.

Not a joke any more.

He is bigger than the first time - but only because his sap is rising. The noise he makes in his chest, but deeper, moves me - I move my head towards it but lose confidence and we both lose our nerves, sneak out and go for lunch.

We slip into another year.

Flash forward to that summer - And sex is rising hard in both of us. Another year still an outwardly prissy virgin when all around me are losing theirs.

It is between us the moment we meet again. We are both like frisky animals circling, pacing around each other that. Straight after church - down by the river, Sunday school picnic - and can hardly concentrate. I want to grab him and kiss him so much

He’s in the water rescuing a ball and I can see it outlined in his shorts. Forgive me Jesus - I need it.

And that afternoon it happens … Sort of …

Home alone. The car pulls from the drive - all 4 of our parents out - and we are straight upstairs.

He briefly moves towards my parents’ room but that’s far too wrong for me.

My room - Soft toys pushed off the bed. I am embarrassed at how childish and girly it feels but I don’t think he notices.

Above the covers we kiss properly - and roll on top of each other. I had been kissed and squeezed - and had my now proud breasts felt by a couple of boys who got close - but no more. His hand inexpertly up the summer dress I changed into with him in mind and into the front of my panties. His fingers brush and play with my pussy lips - I’m really wet and gasp and melt in his arms straight away. He’s bluffing - pretending he knows what he is doing - but we both knew he didn’t - from a magazine - a naive fumble at best. But I don’t mind and it has me on fire.

I move my hand to slow his - to calm him down - and then to press against his crotch - Sunday suit trousers straining.

So tight the zip won’t budge with one hand - and I have to shift onto my knees and use both hands help his cock out. And it’s there right in front of me - perhaps 6 inches from my face Now a glorious thing - his foreskin peeling off a glorious shiney head.

I wrapped my hand around it - scared but excited. That glorious head - I had never seen anything like it - nor been so excited.

It was time. I leaned forward and closed my mouth around it - just once. I felt him gasp - his whole young life sucked in - but it is only a moment - too intense to bear for long and too much for me - I panic and move away - pull him into me.

We snog and rub and cuddle but his cock is insistent pressing, straining against my belly My dress pushed up under my breasts, a sheen of sweat on my flat belly, white cotton panties. His hand on my belly, cupping my mound, damp - squeezing – ooooh.

I want to very very much but my upbringing and fear of my parents return kicks in - and yet again I have lost my nerve.

I take him in my hand, inexpertly pulling at him - hopeless but it’s more than enough for him and he sprays my arm - the front of my dress, over my shoulder onto the headboard.

Something changes inside me in that moment and ever since.

I can still feel the power. The heat on my skin. The sweet salty smell of it.

I am addicted in that moment.

But it was his cock in my mouth that I remember best

Not even a suck - just an enclosing but my lips can’t forget it now and my mind returns to the memory every time I touch myself at night. I know he must be the same - wanking and spraying young, insistent desperate fountains of sperm … Every time remembering that gentle wet enclosing.

Coming 3,4,5 times a day in a memory of my young mouth.

Now it is summer again - he is old enough to not come on holiday with his parents anymore but he has.

We both know it is because he has come to fuck me properly ……

Sarah Timpson (28) X X X X X

Anyone remember this ?

❥ | unicornmanor on ig

Hermione Granger SNAPPED (x)

We not gonna talk about the guy trying to jump BB8 in the background?