Freckles the Kansas Land Pirate

I slammed my fist against my table because I am so tired and angry but this pun is fucking gold

mr darcy lived in derbyshire so he sounds like. lizzeh. ah lov yew moost ahhdentleh

wait the places in pride and prejudice are real?

england is indeed real

Crying

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

I miss when tumblr was like this every day. I feel like someones gonna bring up the ballpit any second

I’m sorry there’s a BALLPIT?!

quick “STOP THE COUNT” meme dump so I don’t lose these gems

bro??

Encounter: four thousand sentient GameBoy Advances

I will never ever ever ever EVER be over Character A barely surviving something and Character B being so overcome with relief they just have to clutch A and bury their face in A’s neck while A tells them it’s okay.

Bob’s Burgers, Christmas in the Car (S04E08)

Love being brutally called out by the British Library

Oh my gosh I went here a few days ago do you guys want to see the whole sign

I’m covered with “Librarians from Everywhere” but as a former museums professional “Tourists who think we’re the British Museum” really speaks to me on a personal level.

I’m “all ten people who think they’ve got the most niche interest in the whole building”

Spinning a Vinyl Record So Fast That It Shatters

That was record breaking speed.

Unmute !

Bruh

Wife her

“Every bite’s going to taste like Victoria’s Secret” fucking KILLED me.

American Poetry - Brendon Burton

My first photo book, American Poetry is now available for preorder. A series 5 years in the making and featuring these along with 50 other unreleased images documenting roadside signage as the public narrative of the state of the nation.

Preorder here

i need some victory today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some days you just need a velociraptor on your side.

“It might be nice, it might be nice,

To have a velociraptor on your side”

I’m ready

I love dinosaurs. I ask the meme spirits for victory over the forces of voter disenfranchisement, on behalf of all of us, Amen.

just in case 

Twentysomething university grad: I think this new job is a big step up for me – the work is interesting and the environment doesn’t actively make me want to kill myself.

Their parents: Yes, but how many vassals do you command? Over how many souls do you wield the power of life and death?

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

“it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him” gets me every time.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

St. Louis Globe-Democrat, Missouri, October 31, 1918

Warren Evening Times, Pennsylvania, October 31, 1918

One of my least favorite mental illness things is "hungry but dont feel like eating" and its companions "hungry but all the food in the house is Illegal," "hungry but can't make anything," and "hungry, want to eat, but why bother"

Also the adhd friend “hungry but unaware of hunger because current activity is too captivating”

"Hungry but I'll get to it later"

“Definite not hungry, nope, but upon forcing oneself to eat something, discovering that the food vanished in 30 seconds and the pervasive feelings of ickiness all vanished, what the fuck"

Hungry but only for one specific food. I do not know what that food is but i do know i don't have it in the house

Hungry, want to eat, fully intending to eat, somehow the eat never happens