I write stuff

people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman

I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together

what is he worried Lois will see

people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do

When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready. 

“Oh, I know.”

“You… know?”

“Neither of them would ever lie to me.” 

“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?” 

“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.” 

Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all. 

@elidyce​ no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?

Okay so apparently it's fucking impossible to actually get real answers on this. So:

Use the poll for your main answer, use the tags, replies, or reblogs for secondary answers.

All answers are regardless of the sexuality or emotion of the daydream.

PLEASE reblog for a larger sample size. Seriously I tried so hard to get concrete answers on what people daydream about and every single link just says "fantasy scenarios".

“I always remember having this fight with a random dude who claimed that ‘straight white men’ were the only true innovators. His prime example for this was the computer… the computer… THE COMPUTER!!! THE COM-PU-TER!!!

Alan Turing - Gay man and ‘father of computing’ Wren operating Bombe - The code cracking computers of the 2nd world war were entirely run by women Katherine Johnson - African American NASA mathematician and ‘Human computer’ Ada Lovelace - arguably the 1st computer programmer”

- Sacha Coward

Also Margaret Hamilton - NASA computer scientist who put the first man on the moon - an as-yet-unmatched feet of software engineering, here pictured beside the full source of that computer programme. #myhero

Grace Hopper - the woman that coined the term “bug”  

- @robinlayfield

Grace Hopper did more than coin the term “bug”. She invented the first program linker in the early 1950s, for the UNIVAC I. A program linker translates instructions from one language to another (for example, numerical codes that represent instructions translated to machine code that computers can read), which is the very foundation of how computer’s operate independently. she also pulled a steve rogers and tried to enlist in the military a bunch of times and was denied. then, an exception was made for her when she joined the navy reserves, and she ended up serving for over 40 years (half of which was active duty). she retired from the navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. she was born in NYC in 1906. Grace Hopper was a fucking badass.

also computing was typically a job for women (many of whom were black women that made incredible contributions) back in the day, so it’s absolutely fucking wild that straight white men think they are the foundation of computer innovation. men PUSHED women out and took the credit.

Reblogging to do what the failed education system never did.

Reblogging to do

what the failed education

system never did.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Adding Wendy Carlos to the list! Trans icon and pioneer of synthesized music!!

Also, just about every computerized device outside of desktops is running ARM chips now. Your phone, your keyboard, your car, your watch. Basically everything.

And ARM was primarily designed by Sophie Wilson, a trans woman.

Dont forget also Hedy Lamarr , that was artist, actress,scientist, and made wi-fi possible.

what are you wearing rn and is it representative of your style

Welp, this is just about all I want in death.

Like, I want to be made into a beautiful glass thing.  I want to be something treasured for a long time and rarely talked about.  I want to live in the home of someone who loved me, and touched now and then in silent memory.

I want people to forget that I’m in there, I want the memory of what I am to pass out of the family’s knowledge.  I want to be given away, and put out in a thriftstore somewhere.  

I want someone to buy my ashes for $4.99 and put me in a window and love the colors.  I want to cast beautiful, fractious and curving sunlight across the wall, sparkling and glowing and shimmering, depending on the time of day.  I want someone to take a picture of me with the moon behind me, luminous and mysterious.

I want a witch to buy me and put me in her work room.  I want an artist to leave me on their worktable.  I want to inspire people and make them smile.  I want to be warm from sunlight or chilly from the cool air.  I want to be packed in newspaper carefully when they move.  I want to be given as a holiday or graduation present to someone’s kid, I want to be given as a housewarming gift as a reminder of home.

And god, then, hopefully some day, I want to roll off the table, I want that globe to crack.

And then I want to haunt the living shit out of the future.

Holy shit, the comment made this sixty times more awesome and now I want this to be done to me too.

entrap my soul in the swirl orb

Trap my ashes into the glass void

Elodie Under Glass: Literal Version

The father of a high school friend of mine did this with her ashes when she died. He commissioned, oh, maybe a dozen or so of these soul orbs and distributed them to friends of hers around the world, who took them traveling to places she’d never been, to see people she loved, to visit places she wanted to go. They took pictures for him, and sometimes those orbs were left to rest somewhere beautifully… or to be passed along around the world to other people.

A year or so ago, he got a message from someone who found one of her orbs under a tree, and did he want it back? No, he said, just leave it there or take it to somewhere new, if they didn’t mind. And then he posted about it, because none of her friends had put it there, it’s not clear where that orb originated, but other people had picked it up somewhere in the world, seen the cursory description on the underside, and taken it with them to the next place on that ongoing journey.

"Why are you so obessed with found family?"

I watched this as a kid and internalized it for forever

Lilo and Stitch really said "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." And i still live by that

a family can be your gay uncles, the best disney prince, and your parole officer

*it may not seem like I can be, but seeing that someone needed to hear it and so they let me say it makes me so so proud. It’s a bit of an oroboros but we’re ignoring that. <3

If u want to write a story about a character that's just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who's gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

What if someone barges in, points at said character and scream, “Mary Sue!”

Tell them to come back with a warrant

This post came across my dash again and now I am having an absolute blast with self insert hotter me that gets the girls and guys everywhere.

This is the Way

Reblogging because I am very pro-writing whatever the hell you want, even ”bad” things, and also because “tell them to come back with a warrant” BROKE ME

Imagine being under the delusion that you're not allowed to be a member of your own target audience.

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Absolutely the frak not, the trick is to immediately let people know how weird you are so you scare off the weak ones. The ones who stay because they like how weird you are? Those are the ones you want.

Post 1: workplace

Post 2: everywhere else

… you know what, codicil accepted

candy discourse, reblog w/ your opinions on

• candy corn • licorice • peanut butter + chocolate • mint + chocolate • sour candies

“Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck.”

Sculpture by Erik Christianson.

I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.

How dare women try to have nipples.

Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.

ACTUALLY Anne Bonny purposely wore loose fitting clothes and displayed her breasts openly at all times during battle - mainly because men were distracted by them, and she took pleasure in killing said men while they were too busy staring at her breasts. Mary Read dressed mainly as a man (after posing as her deceased brother, Mark, for the entirety of her childhood) and both ladies cross-dressed from time to time, hopping between ships. They were known as the ‘fierce hell cats’ due to their ferocious tempers, and were key elements to Captain ‘Calico Jack’ Rackham’s crew - they were the only two known female pirates in the Golden Age of Caribbean piracy. IN FACT, when the ship was captured by the British Navy, Anne and Mary were the ONLY TWO pirates who fought while the males of the crew hid - they were all tried to be hung as pirates but Bonny and Read were both pregnant and were pardoned.

Calico Jack was a lover to Bonny, and as he was to be hung, Bonny’s final words to him were, “Had you fought like a man, you need not be hung like a dog.” Bonny and Read were possibly two of the most badass fucking pirates and they were FEMALE. The more you know. 

And on top of all that, exposed breasts have a long and storied history of symbolism in art. They mean all sorts of things. The sculptor may have chosen to expose her left breast specifically to denote her courage–her heart is exposed–or to evoke comparison to Amazon warriors, who cut off their right breasts.

Titties are complex in art.

Fascinating! 

official boob post

*If you can't walk that far or the roads to the store aren't safe to walk just pretend you can and they are for the purposes of this poll.

LMAO i just looked up how long it would have taken to walk to Walmart when we lived in rural Tennessee. 14 fucking hours

(these days is 58 minutes, and it's honestly GREAT proximity to grocery store for rural USA, but the road is utterly unwalkable (no shoulder and overhangs a drainage ditch) 🙃

yeah it's like three and half hours for me but there aren't sidewalks so it'd be super dangerous unless you were walking through peoples yards and as far from traffic in the roadside ditch as possible (even then there are parts of the road where you can't avoid crossing or being near the road which is incredibly dangerous). and i'd definitely need to use a wheelchair so??? rip. the closest grocery store is also in a food desert and price gouges accordingly too. so even if i was abled the best case scenario without a car would still be to walk on foot for almost four hours risking literal death to get to a store where i couldn't afford to actually buy very much at all. 'MURICA!

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

I love how certain I am that I’m not the only person who stopped scrolling to let the snail finish crossing the dash.  

In fact, I would bet small sums of money that the majority of Tumblr folk do.    

Rb for the lil hops it does at the end before it finishes crossing 🥺💓

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

if i had money to waste i would blaze this picture of Tad because I think everyone should look at it

we shall blaze Tad the old fashioned way!!

I'll help blaze Tad.

Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.

#loony toons bonk and wilhelm scream

@scp-1296 you understand me

[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]

I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

I’m sorry to hear about your scalp.

Okay I must clear this up more concretely since this has gone far beyond my circle of folks who have the context of Why This Is Actually Funny, because there are thousands of people here who are like ‘kids are so rude, kids are so evil, I hate kids’ when…

1) Kids are little humans and they’re learning and they should be treated as little humans who are learning. Don’t be a dick to kids. Adults who are assholes to kids is such a bad look, and kids remember that shit.

2) This particular child was being SO earnest and ‘except for you’ was said not as an insult but like ‘oh…you’re the last one left 😢’.

I dress like this everyone:

[ID: image of a person wearing a puffy 18th century shirt, waistcoat, and cravat.]

Thank u, goodnight.

I mean, with the outfit, that’s an easy mistake to make