things to do & see in nyc for under $30:

Yo, who wanna knock this out this springbreak/summer?

somebody go to these w me

i require so much attention im worse than a tamagotchi

no emoji in the world can replace the depth of :/

astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.

balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.

fruit snacks are missing.

multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.

physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.

conclusions: ???????

aliens stole yo fruit snacks

ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU MOTHER FUCKING AMERICANS

THESE HERE ARE CALLED SCOOBYWUFFERS AND THEY ARE THE BEST THING EVER MADE. NEVER HEARD OF THEM? THATS BECAUSE THEY ONLY EXIST IN BRITAIN. THEY COME IN TWO FLAVOURS AND THEY’RE MY FAVOURITE FOOD EVER. SOMETIMES I GO DOWN BY THE HARBOUR AND EAT THEM AFTER A HARD DAY OF LABOUR. THEY COME IN ALL KINDS OF COLOURS AND THERE’S A HOLE IN THE CENTRE OF THEM. BET YOU AMERICANS ARE PRETTY JEALOUS HUH

My mood rn: external: calm

Internal: ntjsidjdjfjkforogtirneisofirnoeowbddjekftjnfsotrpueitflgdiepudursitairskajfdpuwuditaiydikdsitditditsouf tdooydktskgsjdslgaypezitsotsitsirsir

never make fun of someone because they’re sleeping with a stuffed animal not all of us have humans to hug at night

I’m a mess of a person but I’m loyal and I’ll love you with everything I have.

(via bastille)

this bird wants to dance like uma thurman

THIS is the kind to top brand web content i was looking for when i followed you guys and i haven’t been disappointed since

why are fuckboys so keen to send random nudes? please put your turgid trouser worm away thanks

nothings worse than passing up an opportunity you know you would’ve enjoyed because of the fear of being judged

It finally happened

A white rich suburban mom called me a dropout and told her very young daughter (who made the comment I was working very hard) this is where she’d end up if she didn’t do well in school

Finally

I graduated top 10 from both high school and college to hear the dropout speech from a white suburban mom

It’s like a right of passage for working in service and retail jobs

Finally I am a true waitress

The AMERICAN WAITRESS

bring ur diploma with u to work so you can hit ppl like that with it like ur scattering scavenging animals from a trash can

au where sirens cant sing for shit but lure thousands of men into the ocean and to their death by making sweeping statements like ‘listen! all men are terrible at swimming! its just genetics! if you think im wrong why dont you come over here and fight me’ and then waiting for them to yell ‘not ALL men’ and hurl themselves overboard

Never forget that Spongebob and Mr. Krabs thought they killed a man and tried to hide the body.

those people who insult you and then act like the victim when you say something about it

“WOW OMG I WAS JUST KIDDING JESUS Y CANT U JUST TAKE A JOKE GOD GET OVER IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL OMFG WOW I DID NOTHING WRONG”