”IRL”? this is real life. you’re just talking to me from computer. i’m on the same planet as you. perhaps one day i will pull you from a burning building

yeah i let her hit., with a b aseball bat. on a completely unrelate dnote i have this terribl e headache

so in third grade I told two of my friends I could talk to horses & made up a really dramatic backstory of how I “discovered” my powers & our teacher overheard us talking about it and told the child psychologist I was seeing for insomnia issues & the child psychologist asked me about it & I was first and foremost terrified that if I admitted to the lie, this medical professional would tell my friends I made it all up

so I doubled down and insisted I could really talk to horses. I was doing major damage control. I didn’t realize you can’t just tell psychiatric professionals you have magic powers, I was 8.

so I ended up in counseling for this for an entire year until eventually I just stopped going for some reason but when I was 20 the office contacted me to tell me the psychologist was retiring & asked if I wanted a copy of my childhood records before they were filed away and eventually shredded & I said sure & went over them & discovered that she had diagnosed me with “psychotic delusions” bc I was 8 and apparently convinced her I truly thought I could talk to horses.

genuinely cannot tell if I my parents should’ve been cashing in on me as the most sought-after child actor of the era or if that psychologist was just extremely so so so bad at her job.

I also figured out I stopped seeing her because she told my parents the diagnosis and my dad was like “she’s doesn’t think she can talk to horses!!! she’s lying to you 😭😭😭😭” but she didn’t believe him

i say i was a weird-horse-girl in elementary school and you say “me too” but did it get you a psychiatric diagnosis

Sewing machines are like printers, they work perfectly fine until they start smelling your fear

gotta take this stupid ass piss before going to bed

mike’s hard past couple of months

I was born at a very young age.  I’ve been alive for as long as i can remember, and I hope to continue living until I die.

And what do you think you can bring to our company?

Gonna steal from it

everyone's masc til they have to put on the customer service voice

I am now 100% convinced in my theory that the Last Standard exam is in fact a way to temporarily kill specifically Kristen so that the last thread holding Cassandra back from corruption is cut; Craig is being assassinated by Fourdogs even as they take this exam.

REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again