I'm so mentally stable you can park a horse in my brain

there's still a week left for the funniest possible thing to happen (charles dying before the coronation) like to charge reblog to cast or whatever

if I play my cards right maybe this tumblr mutual and I will have sex one day

What’s a guy to do. Except be so hot and so scared

enough about my guts

it’s time i rearrange his penis.!!!

on it boss!

haha i like you. I’ll be growing on you like moss now if that’s alright

why are we here? just to suffer? every 5 minutes i have to clean my glasses

puking and crying i want the heart shaped le creuset skillet

every weapon formed against me shall prosper. i'm a weak little guy

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

can't get an algorithm like this on twitter

odd and off putting girl october

checking my e-mails by going to my inbox and quickly covering my eyes and peeking through my fingers once the page loads

what do you mean i'm not important? or that you're not important? the other day i stood and watched a tree all full of flowers shivering in the morning wind. i was the only one around. who else would have watched it dance? who else but you will notice the way the sun is slanting through your windows? how the rain scoops over your roof? the most important thing is to just exist, you see. by observing the world, we celebrate alongside it.

sometimes i think like "wow, y'know i really put myself in such an internet bubble. my time spent online would probably be more enjoyable if i broke out of it," and then i do and it's a fucking hieronymus bosch tableau out there. just winged beasts ripping babies apart and ig baddies throwing up pink sauce left and right.

rb with some red flags that are in your room

he has hat 🍃 x