do you mean fingering (yarn weight) or fingering (instrument hand position) or fingering (nsfw) or fingering (mispelled potato)

#music school was so fucking funny sometimes#I'd get told shit like I needed to work on my fingering or use more/less tongue and I had to listen with a straight face too#do you know how hard that was#do you know how fucking difficult that could be sometimes (@hjartasalt)

the truth is this post was originally inspired by that time when i, a clueless aroace, tried to explain my struggles with fingering and tonguing to a non-clueless non-musician, and they were just like... bro what

One time my teacher took my sheet music and wrote "CLIMAX" right where. Well. Where the climax of the piece was. And I wasn't allowed to laugh. How cruel.

IN ALL CAPS. 😭. He felt like I wasn't doing enough there and really wanted to drive home his criticisms.

when you download a pdf and it's called like 1328723486basdf12.pdf but then you gently rename it to what it's supposed to be. that's forming a bond with a hurt and wild mythological creature and reminding it who it is.

@vesselvindicate get peer reviewed

how could you...

He would not fucking say that but let's indulge

#honestly some people really are out there writing characters OOC#but within the story the characterization is consistent and engaging#and you’re like…ah…sometimes a weed is just a plant out of place

lan jingyi, speedwalking across cloud recesses because he overslept and sizhui didn’t wake him: i don’t wanna do more handstands, my arms are going to fall off -

wei wuxian, day drinking on the roof: class is cancelled, baby lan

lan jingyi, bewildered: god?????

Been thinkin abt this post

There’s a regular at the fabric superstore. She’s at least 80 years old, and she just got back into sewing after giving it up for 40 years. We’ll call her Irma.

I love Irma.

Irma is constantly surprised by the newfangled sewing gadgets our store sells. Today she bought some extra-fine glass-head pins and a magnetic pincushion. As I’m ringing her purchases up, she tells me very seriously, “did you know, if you’re careful, you can sew RIGHT OVER those pins? You don’t need to take them out!”

I told her that I liked that you can’t accidentally melt the head of the glass pins with your iron, and she nodded. “They used to all be like that, but times changed.”

I love old sewing machines and asked what kind of machine she has, and she goes, “Oh, it’s an old Singer Featherweight that my husband bought me when we were first married. It’s probably not worth anything anymore, but the thing sews fine. Have you seen the ones those girls over there–” indicating the sewing machine sub-store in my location “–have? Those things go in every direction and the needle always comes to the top when you stop sewing! Imagine how handy that is!”

I mention that I used to sew on my grandmother’s Featherweight but now there’s a intra-family war about who owns Grandma’s Featherweight and so no one gets to use it. It’s genuinely the best portable straight-stitch machine I’ve ever used.

I warn her to never let anyone tell her that Featherweight isn’t worth something. “I know, I miss my husband and it’s always going to have a place in my heart, just like your grandma’s.”

“I mean, Irma, there’s that, but they’re also worth a really notable amount of money. The Singer Featherweight is really financially valuable. I almost never see them for sale around here for less than about $400, and that’s in bad condition.”

“It’s a good thing my husband’s dead, honey, because if you told him that he managed to buy a sewing machine that’s worth more in 2021 than he bought it for in 1950, well, he’d be so smug that I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate driving home with him.”

please tell irma I love her

Because I came up in fandom before the “reader insert” fic was really a thing, for a significant period of time when scrolling through AO3, I thought Y/N was a an actual canonical character, not the placeholder (”your name”) that the reader would find-and-replace with their name in the document before reading. I’m sure not all readers do that, some just learn to read Y/N as their name, but I’m aware a good many do.

So I assumed it was a canonical character and since I was mostly seeing it on crossovers involving some form of anime, I assumed it was an anime character. Probably from a show with gundams, that seemed to make sense. Somehow I managed to build up this little headcanon where Y/N, a character from a gundam anime, stood for Yes/No. Given that Yes/No is a binary similar to 1/0, it was probably a robot, and probably a somewhat sexy lady robot, because well, anime. 

All of which is to say someday I’m definitely going to write a novel starring a robot named Y/N and their quest to pilot a larger, less sentient robot than themselves against a yet to be determined villain. My primary goal is to write a cool story about a robot but my secondary goal is to cause chaos in the Y/N tag on AO3. Just for fun. 

@trainsinanime

YOU. YOU GET ME. 

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

Awwwww

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

new heresy that makes the bible way funnier:

god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.

like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.

that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.

that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just….. stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.

then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!

like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.

god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.

if that’s not funny, i don’t know what is.

@roach-works’ original tags are too good to lose

more good tags from the heretical community:

Judaism is what happens when g-d is like “okay okay here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna make a new set of rules for them and get them to agree to follow them, and once I’ve got their buy-in it’ll be fine” only as soon as g-d finally gets a group of humans to sign up they’re like “hey do you take constructive criticism? no? too bad”

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that

Thank you for your work soldier 🫡

I think ive said it before but you really gotta feel bad for oedipus that wanting to fuck your mother got named after him. He really did not want to do that . It is central to oedipus rex how badly he didnt want to do that. Dick move by freud

In my everything makes me burst into tears era

“…use things to have good days.”

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

Jesus, I hadn’t even thought of this, but of course.

This is something that historians have been warning about for a couple of decades. How much of our history was not just on Twitter, but on MySpace, on blogs and web sites that came down after a few years, on e-mail, on texts. None of that leaves a record. Once the file is deleted, the server shut down and scrapped, the backup disks decay into being unreadable junk, that history is gone.

Does anyone remember when Obama and Clinton each held town hall campaign events on MySpace? Good luck finding anything about those now other than some news articles that say they happened. How many business zoom calls have formal meeting minutes taken? We are not saving histories. We aren’t even writing letters. I’m as guilty as anyone. My art is online and kept in the cloud. I make my Christmas Card every year, but I haven’t printed and mailed one in over a decade. It’s all sent electronically. Meaning that a generation from now no one will remember.

So the problem is bigger than Twitter. We are now a couple of decades into an age that will not leave any detailed historical record.

That is not good.

In pseudo and acadamic circles this has routinely been called the ‘digital dark age’, I even wrote on the subject a few years ago but can’t find that article right now. [There is even a Wikipedia article on the concept] (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_dark_age#:~:text=The%20digital%20dark%20age%20is,technologies%20evolve%20and%20data%20decay).

It’s thought this might just be a black spot of knowledge, there are organizations working to stop this — archival websites primarily, but these are not able to penetrate all these corporate gated gardens, where paywalls, sign up walls, and more block access to. There is an ongoing campaign by megacorps to shutdown as many archival sites as possible.

This coupled with the fallibility of hard drives, CDs (make sure to back them up! They only have a 20-30 year lifetime!), and more and there is a chance that even though there is more information than ever before, more primary and secondary sources than ever, we may become just a strange blank spot in societal and cultural history. Digital decay is a terrifying concept that we are already beginning to live through.

@xkcd-for-that

This is exactly what I’ve been saying. It’s a loss of history. And, given how important it has been for activists of all sorts, it will be a loss for the future as well.

Your roommate is so bad at pretending to be a human, you’ve started to just automatically back him up in public. Tonight he tells you how nice it is to know the only other alien in the city, and you have to break the bad news

It started pretty simply. “Needs more plutonium,” your roommate said on your third day of university as you ate noodles together. Then he froze, staring at you, the colour draining from his face.

A weird joke to pull out, sure, but not panic-weird. You grew up a nerd. Your in-jokes are weirder. This guy, you decide, is unbelievably shy. Might have had bad experiences. Or social anxiety maybe.

You just give him a reassuring grin. “Definitely needs more plutonium,” you agree, and take a big bite of noodle, and something in him relaxes and he looks at you with a strange kind of understanding that you can’t really interpret, and from then on, you have a new close friend.

i wish derek hale’s pilot episode age had carried over into the series proper. he’s supposed to be nineteen. can you imagine. nineteen. all of that’s happening to him and he can’t even legally drink yet. stiles finds his fake ID and is like “why do you have one of these” and derek’s like “as if you don’t also have one” and stiles is like “yeah but i NEED mine. what’s your excuse.” and Derek’s like. I’m Nineteen Years Old. and stiles is like. You. Are Nineteen Years Old. You. (stiles is having his world rocked right now and trying to keep himself from saying But You Look 28 and So Can You Buy Me Beer Or Not). and then he properly looks at derek’s fake and is like “oh my god mine’s better than yours.” and Derek’s like Is Not. and stiles points at it and says “it says you weigh 340 pounds.” derek snatches it back and is like You Don’t Know My Situation I Could Be. where was i GOING with this.

stiles is like But Seriously Can You Buy Me Beer Though and derek’s like “why can’t you use your own fake ID for that” and stiles is like (all one word) “my dad caught me smoking once and now every place that could sell me booze or cigarettes in a thirty mile radius has my picture under a DO NOT SELL TO sign”. and Derek’s like “oh right that’s where i know you from” but stiles doesn’t hear him being funny because he’s looking at derek’s ID again and going “it says you’re legally blind. dude who made this.” I love it here. on my little teen wolf playground.

stiles makes a better fake ID for derek but he makes sure it says his middle name is Meredith and that he’s a natural blonde. gives it to derek like “here you can buy me alcohol now” and derek’s like “why would i do that” and stiles is like “because i have just been SO nice to you? i MADE you that” and derek is like. “you did Not make this to be nice”. and he’s right. anyway he’s NINETEEN isn’t that just skin blisteringly FUN. like. nineteen. ORPHAN. we’re having a good time!!!!

listening to music with headphones is so awesome especially when it shoots straight into your brain and you can pick out all its little layers like sandwich ingredients

One thing I like about scum villain is that every time you think a relationship has a weird and unbalanced power dynamic, its revealed that actually the relationship has an even WEIRDER unbalanced power dynamic from the other end . Like sure moshang looks weird because sqh is mbj's servant but also sqh is quite literally god and created mbj to his exact specifications. fucking insane

#you think lbh/sqq is weird because sqq is his teacher and literally read about his entire life #and then lbh puts tracking parasites in his blood and sleeps next to his dead body for 5 years and its like what the actual fuck (via @captainkirkk)