YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

i may be stupid

you shut your whore mouth

i won’t hesitate bitch

Technically true.

He got the job.

He takes his job seriously.

I fuckin’ love this comic. Makes me smile like crazy every time it pops up.

I wonder if the Wolf Hunter thought he was going to a farm that grew elves.

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

just sayin'

This should be taught in school.

no cishets at pride! *spin kicks a grandma with a “I love my gay son” tshirt*

Yes, @passionpeachy illustrates a great point!

The first pride my mother attended, she marched with me alongside the PFLAG float, holding a sign that read "I'm Proud of My Gay Child".

I noticed she kept falling behind and running to catch up, nearly a whole float behind us. So finally, I stopped to see what was going on.

People kept pointing at her sign and cheering and then she'd proudly point at me, saying "they're here!"

That was usually the point where at least one person burst into tears. And this is where my mom started lagging - because she'd stop, reach over the barrier, and hug them. Teenagers, twenty-somethings, thirty-somethings... they'd break down crying at the sight of a cishet woman proudly marching with her child in Texas, of all places. That she'd claim me and be proud of me. Because they couldn't imagine their own family doing the same.

So she stopped and hugged them and told them she was proud of them, even though she had to race to catch up in the heat, even though they were strangers. And i like to think she made those young people's lives a bit better.

So yes, cishets at pride.

I'd rather have a cishet grandma there than a gay cop.

freshman year of college I (a simple lesbian) met a gay dude and we instantly clicked and started talking about our childhoods and stuff and discovered we were born in the same hospital on the same day so we became each other's beards and watched hentai together every weekend

That sentence started and ended in very different places

Today, one of my second graders was working on shape name recognition, and we got to this picture of a pyramid shape with a wide-ish base. When he saw it, his eyes lit up and he turned to me with a huge grin on his face, pointed at it, and said "When the teacher forgets to assign homework" before bursting out into hysterics, covering his mouth and giggling. I don't understand what happened except this kid CLEARLY knows about the strong comedic and memeable value of mathematical shapes and emotions that I, an old millennial, cannot comprehend I did, however, try to recreate this moment as the meme this child must have seen in his head

maybe he was thinking of the dancing triangle meme??

i have seen this gif with that exact caption before. this is absolutely the one he was thinking of

That kid saw one of the simplest geometric shapes and said that's blorbo from my memes 👍

movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….

girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.

if it were me having to repeat my dead father’s instructions on destroying the death star:

I was in a college psych class, and the teacher was doing some kind of exercise about memory, patterns, and retention. He began with, “for instance, if I asked you what number the first letter of your name is in the alphabet, you wouldn’t be able to tell me right aw–” “Ten,” I said. “What?” “J. J is ten,” I said again. He stared at me. “I happened to learn it while looking at the alphabet when I was five or six, and it just stayed in my brain,” I told him. Then we did an exercise on retention. “I’m going to tell you a story,” he said, “and then I’m going to send you out of the room for five minutes, and when you come back, you have to repeat as much of the story back to me as possible.” He told me a long and meandering story with no plot or structure, just a random series of events, place names, actions, etc. Then he sent me out of the room. I looked at the wall for a while. He called me back in five minutes later, stood me up in front of the class, and asked me to repeat “just as much of the story as you remember.” Apparently while I’d been gone he’d been telling the class about how eyewitness accounts aren’t reliable because people don’t remember things well after a certain period of time. So I told his story back to him– not verbatim, but certain phrases were exact– and watched the consternation in his face as I accidentally blew up his (valid! and extensively studied!) lesson about how bad people’s retention is. “It’s like a song,” I tried to explain to him, and the class. “Or a poem. Every part of the story has a little tag to remember it. I looked at the chalkboard while you were saying this part. My leg itched while you were saying that part. A chair squeaked during the next part. Then I just have to come back and go over all the sensations that I had while you were” “Sit down,” he said. I sat. Turns out I’m Autisms Georg adn should not have been counted

ADHD version: A friend asked, on a field trip, why I knew the scientific name for Caltha palustris, “Well, we did that [one week long] field ID course [three years previously] and we saw it in one of the bogs”.

This, I was informed, is very much not a normal reason to remember the scientific name of a plant for the rest of your life.

It took me five whole years to learn when my partner’s birthday is.

this is why I keep my DMs open

I AM BEING HUNTED

Ok I’m really curious

I’m sorry who in their right mind would call that anything but a puppy cup. It’s a fucking puppy cup. Who’s out there calling it a fucking fluffy cup.

……..I do…………

Ok I feel the need to specify that these are roleplay blogs for a furry webcomic and that this poll takes place within said furry webcomic. Their world is entirely furries. None of these are real names for kiddy cones. The joke is that since it’s a world full of a bajillion different species with a bajillion different terms for their kids that they don’t have one specific name for the cone. Am I making sense.

ah you see I see this post on my dash with no context and I think perhaps people just have insane regional names for ice cream cones that I have never heard

wholesome story :)

When he was a guest on Game Grumps, he told a story about playing Wii for the first time. It was at one of these big music industry person party things and he was just trying to fit in and relax. Someone suggested trying out this new crazy motion controlled video game called Wii. They fired up Wii Bowling and Al promptly (accidentally) threw the controller at the TV as hard as he could

I cannot believe the wii warning sillhouette guy was weird al

how do you guys feel about my lock screen

OP do you take constructive criticism?

there is nothing to criticize here

Who the hell organize apps by color

Mind your business

the saddest sight in the world is a married couple at a musical and the wife is super excited and happy and the husband looks like he was dragged along and he’s making a big deal about how much he doesn’t want to be there and the wife gets embarrassed or ashamed. this isn’t a funny post, it’s actually heartbreaking and i see it happen at like every other musical i attend.

Yeah, as an usher what makes me sad is when I see wives clearly dressed in their Sunday best, beaming and buying merch and smiling at me as I hand them a program, toting some guy dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt who declines a program. And that’s at least a quarter of the couples who come in or more. Like come on man, she really loves this stuff, can’t you try to enjoy it for her at least?

About as bad as when you see a big-eyed kid who looks like this is the greatest day of their life, all excited to see this show, and their parent/grandparent/aunt/Cousin/Friend/whoever they convinced to take them keeps making fun of them and saying how dumb or ridiculous they’re being. For Gods sake, this is a person you care about and this is a thing that means a lot to them. Smile, get off your phone, and be happy for them.

This goes for ANY loved ones’ interests. Doesn’t matter the interest, doesn’t matter the loved one. Example: my hubby loves airplanes. He works in the aviation industry. He basically has avgas flowing in his veins. No matter where we go on trips, he’ll find an aviation musuem. I don’t mind aircraft museums, but he will literally stop and take photos of rivets. Seriously. One time I was with him at the National Air and Space Museum and I had my nice DSLR camera and he asked if I could take some photos of the seams of the SR71 with “your good camera,” and you know what? It wasn’t my favorite subject to photograph, but I gladly did it because it made him happy.

BTW, we’ve been doing this for the 30+ years we’ve been together. He comes with me to symphonies and art galleries and lets me have the remote during hockey season to the point where he’s now a fan. I know he’s daydreaming about airplane engines a majority of the time, but he’s there and trying and I love that about him.

So yeah, be present for your favorite people and make an effort. It will pay joyful lifelong dividends you can’t begin to imagine.

I do not give a shit about yoga or education. My sister loves yoga, my mom is in love with her teaching job with her whole self. You better believe I will get excited about that shit. Least I can do for the amount of times they’ve listened to me fangirl various media properties.

via @123i321 you can't just leave that in the tags

[Image descriptions in order: two tweets by Joseph Mullins @josephmulli... The first says "Today, nobody showed up to my 8.15am class.

0 students of about 40. Sitting in the empty room, I email them, trying to disguise my hurt feelings.

2 mins later, I get a reply: "Professor, we think you might be in the wrong room." So anyway off I go to live in a hole forever.

The second says "My wife really wants me to mention that I was sleep deprived because I got up at 4am to play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends in Australia."]

[Tags that say #Sad professor in a room alone #Students no love me? Why students no love me 😭 #All 40 in the other room #Where our beloved professor? Why he not here? He ok?!]

All I can think about is the ENERGY in the room with the students when the first one looked at their email... absolutely incredible.

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

if you don't know where to go, just wander! go to the store and don't buy anything, go to the library just to sit and do whatever you were going to do at home, go to a park and just walk around/sit outside for a bit (weather permitting, of course)

just put some headphones in and walk around the block a couple times if you really have nothing else to do, just getting a bit of air and change of scenery is so good for you

me the first few weeks of forcing myself to go on daily walks (it gets better tho)

i really need tumblr to learn the concept of “if you physically cannot do this then this post is not talking about you” because jesus christ.

@a-spectacular-pigeon you get it.

SHE IS A TRUE HERO 

No, she’s a bitch is what she is

what do u mean???? it was clearly an accident she even said “Oooppsss”

LMFAOOOO

Look, rather than being petty and destroying it, why not talk to the girl. Really ask them why they are using the confederate flag. But no, low level terrorism is the answer.

LOW LEVEL TERRORISM?

Low level terrorism

ICONIC

world heritage post

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERES A CYAN HEART EMOJI NOW 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 ARE YOU SEEING THIS 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵LOOK🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

when i said “are you seeing this” i meant it genuinely and it turns out the answer is a resounding no

IM DYING