when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion  

its kind of chilling seeing the way toxins interact with blood. you see hemolytic venom immediately turn a sample into jello and very quickly understand why it kills you

"get coagulated, idiot" -- snakes probably

Hey. Let's chew on wires. Together.

It's fun when you can tell things about people by what colours they like to surround themselves with. Someone who likes wearing and decorating all their stuff with green is usually a calm, chill, down to earth kind of a person. They don't usually even notice how much of all their things are green, they just see a green thing and think "oh, pretty" and don't even put together just how much of their stuff ends up unintentionally being green.

Someone whose clothes and stuff are predominantly purple is something else, that's a Distinct Kind Of Personality who enjoys having a distinct colour scheme and goes out of their way to get it. Purple is too unusual of a colour to just accumulate unintentionally. A person whose belongings are mainly purple enjoys knowing that the people who know them probably first think "oh, That Person would probably like that" whenever they see something purple.

But someone who specifically enjoys the combination of purple and green? Yeah that's a harder than average herb wizard.

….stop perceiving me please and thank you.

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

A demon simply called The Brother. It doesn't have siblings or any family, and it's ambiguous whether that creature itself is even male at all. It just keeps turning everything and everyone into broth.

Imagine getting a cat from an animal shelter and deciding to pick the very sweet and gentle one who hasn't made a single sound the whole time you're there, and being told "yeah she doesn't meow like other cats do", and then when you say "oh it's ok, I don't mind a cat who isn't very vocal!" the shelter's people look at you like they're about to say something but decide against it.

And then you bring your kitty home and the first time she wants your attention, she opens her mouth and the sound that comes out is a low, soothing but abnormally long continuous tune that you can only describe as something between mongolian throat singing and a didgeridoo.

yea i’m afab. assigned fairy at birth 🧚🏻‍♂️✨

something about being stoned out of my mind in my boxers is so gender euphoric,,,

*bleeding to death because the paramedics can’t break the windows to get me out of my stupid fucking truck* heha well at least i dont have to worry about the friggin Zombie Apocalypse… awesomesauce 😎

small musicians who don't post their lyrics online anywhere. Why do you hate me

They don’t hate you. It’s just hard for them to use keyboards cause they gotta jump from one button to the next and they aren’t heavy enough to actually press them