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Bestfri(end) Boyfri(end) Girlfri(end) B(∞)ty
Boobies
Everything's aluminaty huh? -.-
NO. WAY.
—BB
Weird. It’s almost like people who do not get pregnant don’t even need abortions.
IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET
IN RELATED NEWS: SCIENTISTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THE EARTH REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN.
NOW OVER TO JIM WITH THE SPORTS REPORT
“WELL BOB IT APPEARS BASKETBALL IS INDEED PLAYED WITH A BASKET. AND A BALL.”
TODAY, UNDER A FUCKING ROCK UNIVERSITY’S DEPARTMENT OF REALLY OBVIOUS SHIT PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE ENTITLED “THAT’S HOW IT FUCKING WORKS, YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS” IN THE JOURNAL OF THINGS I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU FOR GODDAMN FREE. AMERICAN POPULACE AWAITS A LAYMAN’S INTERPRETATION.
^ The snark and rage is strong with this one.
"Well then, I'm Jose and you've just heard our late night tumblr news.... See you again tomorrow at 9 !" *winks* 😉
It really confuses me how this is a bird
But this is also a bird
But this is a bird, too
and also this
People are always talking about cats like “wtf even are cats” and “how are cats real”
but we should really be talking about birds.
Wtf are birds?
*voice gets hella deep* The world may NEVER know.... 😗
Fuck telekinesis.... Fatasskinesis!!!
6 year old fan asks Sebastian a question.
#well good thing you’re the Winter Soldier #because that’s one hell of a burn (via paradisdesbilles)
did dr. dre even attend medical school?
*voice gets hella deep* The World May NEVER know o.O
/.\
Have you ever loved some one it hurt. Like they were the perfect puzzle piece for you.. You'd never think of the consequences of you actions while you're with them.(love goggles😎) They were you happily ever after,your other half, your one and ONLY. And now.... That your broken up, You feel dead inside, you aren't happy, you aren't YOU. It's as if you're nothing... All the "I love you"s and "always and forever"s, are now nothing. 'Cause you've got a new girl. Who you probably say "I love you" too or tell her how "perfect" she is..... Well I was too, cause you said that to me. How could you? I took every risk for you,LITERALLY !! I had everything taken away from me. All for you. Psh, now that I think about it... You aren't shit; and even though I say that might I also say I regret nothing. Yeah. I loved you, and I still do. But you know what I hope you're happy with that rat of a whore, oh no wait, let me say I'm sorry to her because 1:) she's got my sloppy seconds 2:) she is stuck with a repeater 3:) what goes around comes back around. Hmph. I wish I didn't care so much
What is with the look on his face he’s like “Somewhere in the world, somebody is misquoting Shakespeare. I can sense it.”
My thing is, have sex whenever you decide to want to have sex. You want to have sex on the first night, go ahead. You want to have sex after 20 dates, go ahead. You want to never have sex, go ahead. People think that someone’s sexual choices actually coincide with their personality. If all you can think of someone’s worth is whether they want to have sex or not, then the problem is probably you.
Lemony Snicket (via andersoncooper)
Dr. Seuss (via dissapolnted)