me: please do not fear me, i mean you no harm

bunnies that live in my apartment complex: your intentions are irrelevant, we distrust all for it has meant our continued survival

me: but woe look upon the gifts i have given to thee, it is a sign of my loyalty and admiration for thine kingdom

bunnies: forsooth, thou hast given us these gifts, but our people cannot be so easily bribed by one who wishes to tame us

me: nay! i do not wish to tame thee! only pet the soft fur betwixt thine ears

bunnies: is asking of us to change our nature not taming, sirrah? would you have us display our soft underbellies to the dogs next?

me: tis not my intention-

bunnies: your intentions are irrelevant

me: wait!

bunnies: *disappear into the bushes*

love when charlie has a semi-vulnerable moment where he feels insecure about his behavior and dennis swoops in to go “noo omg baby!!! i love it when you’re crazy don’t worry!!!”

get real

I'd doublefist 9/11's. Call that a tower in each hand

*guy forgetting the word for compromise* uhh what if our choice was bisexual

Honestly with some distance i think I'd say german teenagers were onto something when they used "hobbyless" as the default insult in the early 2010s

Fling Posse the world‼️‼️

BREAKING NEWS: I GOIG TO FUCKING GET YOU

it is truly astounding how unembarrassed people are to have less basic curiosity about the world than a rural peasant from the 1400s

someone figured out how to eat tapioca and you won’t boil an egg

I don’t like the phrase ‘learned helplessness’ bc I think 90% of what we use it for right now isn’t learned helplessness at all, it’s learned refusal. Nobody actually thinks they are too stupid and incompetent to try boiling an egg or to click on the second page of google results, they just can’t be fucking bothered and have learned all kinds of cargo cult structural inequality talking points to justify it.

Ohhh schools don’t teach critical thinking any more ohhh my parents never taught me how to boil water ohhhhhh not everyone is privileged enough to have the time and energy to read two whole wikipedia articles I have no choice but to go through life with the accumulated knowledge of a dead beetle.

You'll notice that people do this in multiplayer games for much the same reason!

he was waiting for that moment

Hey don't cry. 50 million hot demon guys okay?

Yes they are hung. Please don't cry okay?

i thinkyou should be allowed to tell customers that they are going to hell when they die.

*ଘ( ॢᵕ꒶̮ᵕ(꒡ᵋ ꒡ღ)zZ‥

Condom machines off for the royal period of mourning💔💔💔