day 14: rest; for @shes-fast-like-me cause their support fuels me <3
(cw: anxiety and implied self harm)
Ajay woke up all of a sudden when someone knocked insistently at her door. It was 3 in the morning, dammit. She dragged herself out of bed and opened the door slowly.
“Ajay.” It was Octavio. From the moment her eyes laid on him, she knew something was wrong. He was hopping on his feet -one and two, one and two- and fidgeting with the gloves at his hands. “Let me come in.” It wasn’t much of a request, since he slid in the opening Ajay created between herself and the door.
“What’s wrong, Tavi,” Ajay questioned, sounding exhausted to her own ears. Octavio looked around the room, as if he hadn’t been there hundreds of times, but it was different. He couldn’t stay still, moving his head right and left, distracting himself. “Did you take anything?” Ajay then asked, wondering if he was under the effect of some drugs. It wouldn’t be surprising.
“I didn’t!” Octavio snapped, an ugly hint of anger in his rough voice, but then he lowered his eyes, ashamed. “Sorry. I didn’t really use anything, chica. It’s just—“ he started, looking at the edge of the bed as if he wanted to sit down but the mere thought of it was painful. “I’ve been having a rough night. Can’t stand still. Can’t sit for more than two minutes, figure sleeping, carajo.”
Ajay stared at him, genuinely worried. She stood in front of him in her loose pajamas and pulled her hair in a quick bun. “Was the dose of tha stim wrong?”
Octavio shook his head, not deigning that of a reply. Yeah, he wasn’t one to screw doses up. Then—
“Anxiety, Tavi? That kinda rough night?”
His eyes met hers and he nodded imperceptibly, leaning into her touch when she brought a hand to cup his cheek.
“Give me a sec.” Ajay turned around and reached for the shelf above the desk against the wall. She grabbed a kit and extracted a tiny bottle from it, pouring a few drops of its content in a glass of water.
“Here, take this.”
Octavio drank the liquid in one long gulp, not even questioning what was in there.
“Sleep with me tonight, Tavi,” Ajay asked, making her hand slide along the scars of his arm and reaching the ones on his wrist. Octavio stopped to think about it.
Ajay knew he didn’t like her to see him like this, but he also knew she was one of the few -if not the only one- that could handle him in these moment, the one that knew how to. Ajay had told him many times there was no shame in that, that she would always, always, accept everything of him, even this part. Because that’s how she was, because he did the same.
In the end, Octavio accepted. Ajay pulled him over the sheets and laid her head against his shoulder while he adjusted at her side. She hadn’t given him anything too strong to knock him out on the spot, but it would be enough to send him to sleep in a matter of minutes.
For a while, Octavio’s fingers traced the shape of her waist and arm in silence, coming to a rest when they laced with Ajay’s, and then stilled. His breath was slow and stable, and the frown that had been darkening his expression until that moment slowly started to disappear. Ajay leaned closer, kissed his temple, and closed her eyes.
