monster lovin'

Monster March 10 - Gargoyle

I skipped March 9. :P

Just a gargoyle saving someone who fell from a tower.

Played with gradient mapping for this one. idk how I like it.

"What do you mean there's something even tinier in there??"

I love the idea of a tiny person showing their big friend that they're pregnant and the big friend being all curious and extra careful not to do anything that might hurt their little friend & passenger!

Actually this has to be its own post, I hate how people treat the moral of the ugly duckling tale like it’s “don’t worry you’ll grow up to be beautiful”

no!!! It was never an ugly duckling because it was never a duck!!! It was a baby swan!!! A cygnet!!! It was never ugly to begin with!!! People only thought it was ugly because they were judging it by their own standards!!!! The moral is that you aren’t ugly, people just don’t see you as you are!!!!

I wish benevolent giants would collect me and put me in a safe place when I eat too much fermented fruit.  

absofuckinlutely not

You’re just continuing a long line of retail tradition babey

im gonna get a huge wolf-like husky and give it a name like James or David or Sandra or something. Something really human sounding. And convince everyone who comes to my house that theyre just my friend who was cursed with lycanthropy.

I’m gonna renovate my guest bedroom so it looks really lived in. It’s got posters for like. Wolves and stuff on the walls. And a to do list that has stuff like “pay rent” “turn into dog” and I’m gonna put some scratch marks on the walls and the bed and a chain on the heater. And I’m gonna train the dog to sleep there so it really pulls off the whole effect. This is a really long con plan.

I discussed this idea with a classmate of mine and they pointed out that when i was looking for a room mate and said “you need to be out of the house every full moon and be okay with large dogs” they would surely assume that I was the werewolf in this mix and really this is just the beginning of my life as a weird tv sitcom.

It would be a great cover for your perspective roommate, an actual werewolf

@lycanbucky

drawing old neglected oc hours 👿

UPS has reached an agreement with the Teamsters union to equip its iconic brown delivery trucks with air conditioning for the first time for new units.

The agreement, announced by UPS on Tuesday, comes as the delivery giant and the International Brotherhood of Teamsters negotiate the terms of a new contract for more than 330,000 U.S. employees. (source)

Unions work, unionize.

They only just now got air conditioners?!?!?!

Yeah it’s a huge win. Those trucks are death traps on a good day. A bunch of drivers died and more got severely ill last year from heat stroke. The temperature in the back of those vans is usually 10 degrees hotter than outside. It’s terrible, and I’m so proud of my union for how harshly they’re negotiating right now. We’ve got a bunch of smaller consessions already but this one was big.

This round of negotiations is difficult. The UPS Overlords are trying very hard to keep their billions of dollars in three pockets instead of spreading the wealth we (the workers) earned for them during the pandemic’s influx of home delivery. They’re trying to give us as little as possible and spinning the news articles to make it look like they’re super generous. Meanwhile almost everyone in my warehouse is on food stamps cuz we aren’t paid shit.

The UPS Teamsters Union are currently voting on whether or not to go on strike in August, so prepare for that. Stock up on essential supplies, just in case. We’ll let everyone know how to support us when the time comes.

This job is my first time being part of a union and I never wanna go back to not having one. It’s amazing to have so much fighting power.

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."

Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?

At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.

No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.

"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.

I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.

This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).

It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.

Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys

Sure you can monsterfuck and enjoy loving the monster for their otherness, but what about YOUR otherness? YOUR insecurities and idiosyncrasies? Wouldn't you like the monster to find you and see you in a way you couldn't? Wouldn't you like to be loved and feel how much it kills you not to be hated with how long it's been since you've felt something good?

I want to be a vampire mainly because I want my monster partner to be able to be as rough with me as they want and I’ll always heal.

I’m always thinking about being a vampire working at a place all sorts of monsters pay to have sex. Maybe some like being extremely rough in ways humans can’t handle. Maybe some simply have anatomy that can’t be used with human bodies without causing harm. Either way, a vampire with extreme healing abilities is the perfect companion.

Hey don't be sad! Giant werewolf cocks that force your body to make room for it, okay?

Happy pride I hope you get that werewolf dick and/or pussy you crave 🥰

I think about this a lot.

may I add also “butt dial” vs “booty call” vs “bottom text”

"invite people to my cottage in the forest" sounds nice but "invite people to my cabin in the woods" sounds like a horror movie waiting to happen

seeing reddit refugees repeatedly hit their post limits and comment their thoughts on every reblog is kind of refreshing. site migration be damned these guys know how to blog

it feels like reintroducing captive born animals into the wild to replenish the natural population

A fun update to the ongoing Reddit meltdown: r/femalefashionadvice has, after polling their users, reopened to only accept posts about 18th century fashion.

See, THIS is why Reddit refugees were welcomed with open arms.