goal 🥺
i wish … getting their , just need to stop being bloated every time I take a sip of Diet Coke
TW . ED. AN
(Not me in pic 🥲)
Uhhhh I get my N in a month and I am so scared because they ask you what your height, eye colour, and weight is etc…. When I went in for my L test my dad said I weighed 125lbs which was generous because I weighed around 135ish. What is crazy is that not even 4 months before that I weighed 118lbs and I was so mad that I couldn’t bring up my original weight. I was ashamed of myself so I promised on that day that I would lose all of the weight that I gained including additional weight. Now I have a month to lose some weight before my N test. Sadly after I took my L test I gained a lot of weight and I went all the way up to 145lbs at 16 years old. Now I am 17 and I am 120lbs. I am giving myself a month to lose 10 pounds “nothing I haven’t done before lol” only thing is, is that it is so hard for me to lose weight because I dropped most of it in a short period of time. Suffering from anorexia I don’t eat that much to begin with so that means I will need to exercise a shit tone ( I have a gym memebership so now I will try and get back into my old routine of 5 days a week) I just am so tired, drained, and cold all the time. (I will also be drinking so much water) 
If this all works out then I can’t wait to tell the lady I weigh 110lbs, even if she makes me stand on a scale. I don’t think my dad will be next to me when I tell the women my weight for my license (hopefully he’s not with me) the only way my parents will find out I’m 110lbs is if they look at my License 💀. (Keep in mind they know I struggle with my eating yet they don’t do shit (as in they don’t care) so I don’t care if they see it)
dreamyandotherworldly
oh god oh fuck my mom KNOWS I DIDNT EAT YESTERDAY
this bitch was like “you know that not eating can be considered something called AN0REX1A” LMFAO YEA MF THATS WHATS GOING ON 😄
in other news i’m halfway done with my 48 hour fast 😮💨💋
That was my dad 🙄 he said “you know not eating makes you gain weight” … I’m like “not if you eat at all 😐✌🏼” but for real my dad always has the nicest things to say “I’m being completely sarcastic”. I just want to tell him “None of this would have started if it wasn’t for you” my anorexia started to get extremely worse because he kept nagging “mean” comments at me. I wish a lot of people “parents “ would watch what they say to their friends or children.