I Have No Idea

Do you remember?

if you dont believe in aliens youre fucking stupid

i dont give a damn about roswell or area 51 or whatever the fuck. thats not what i mean. the universe is infinitely large and weve already found living bacteria and stuff on comets. space has some crazy shit. it rains glass on venus and there’s a planet made of solid diamond. jupiter’s great red spot is a billion year old hurricane and like ten million earths could fit inside the sun. who gives a fuck if they arent little green men from mars. aliens exist and if you dont think so youre clowning hard my man

two sorts of people

DIY shingles

like the disease or the roof tiles

whatever

So I was talking to a boy today and called him “dude” and he goes, “Hey, I’m not your dude. I want to go by bro.” And the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘wow, he has preferred bronouns’.

omg

directions

comics then: funny cat loves lasagna and hates mondays comics now: pigeon experiences a micro-aggression

hmmm

we are boycotting amazon siri play despacito

apple’s not any better….gregorian monks start deepthroating

i meant to say throat singing but you know what that’ll work too

hmmm

good female anthro design: 

bad female anthro design: 

Best female anthro design:

cursed female anthro design:

FISH ARE NOT MAMMALS! THEY DON’T HAVE BREASTS! WHAT THE FUCK!?

Fish Tiddies

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her

LOL

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

wishing i was on a balcony in italy, wearing a long floral dress, eating fresh fruit, and staring at the sunset and landscape below me

Wish I was the hulk

wish i was the hulk on balcony in italy, wearing a long floral dress, eating fresh fruit, and staring at the sunset and landscape below me

me: dress how you want!! gender is fake!!! nothing matters!!!!!!

trans person: i like gender tho

me: hell yeah i respect that!!!! i apologize and don’t mean to dismiss your identity with my optimistic nihilism!!!!!!!

Good post OP

Hell yeah! Great post OP!

can’t stop thinking about how around 5 years ago i used to reblog videos of a random girl saying a hoe never gets cold and now she’s cardi b