My attempt at an Edward Gorey "Gashlycrumb Tinies" homage but make it Aziracrow. His style is so hard to reproduce and the crosshatching... my god the crosshatching.

Also feel I should apologize. No idea what possessed me to inflict this on myself let alone on any innocent bystanders who might see this.

witches and cowboys are the same entity but just separated at night and day.

Could you kindly elaborate on that please

Moonshine is an alcoholic potion brewed by witches and cowboys; “Moon” to represent the Witching Hour, and “Shine” for sunny High Noons.

Rootin’, tootin’, toil n’ shootin’

Fire burn and cowboy bootin’

Eye of newt and spicy beans,

Toe of frog and denim jeans,

Whiskey, grits, n’ demon spittle

tossed into my iron griddle

With the tannin’ of our hides,

Somethin’ wicked this way rides

current mood: tamagotchi after it poops

Is….the poop dancing too?

drinks from the simpsons rated

bart’s hot cocoa marshmallow

is it still technically a drink? who cares! grampa wanted a slice and i do too 10/10 skittlebrau

i’m still waiting for some artisanal craft beer company to crowdfund the actualisation of skittlebrau 9/10 malk

brittle bones are a small price to pay for all that vitamin r 7/10 the all-syrup super squishee

this drink comes with consequences. are you prepared for what that might mean? 5/10 shelbyville turnip juice

turnip juice is a real thing apparently? who looked at a turnip and wanted to drink it? 3/10 homer’s morning glass of syrup

my teeth are crying 0/10 marge’s homemade pepsi

an undefinable and unknowable entity ?/10 lays liquid potato chips

i’ve got questions and they’re all about how i can forget i ever had to think about this 0/10 worcestershire flavoured soft drink

carbonated worcestershire is truly a cursed concept 0/10 a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat

the bartender requires you to sign a waiver before he serves you. this drink takes you to a strange new place where the man whose hat you are drinking from tells you the meaning of life in a way you are never able to articulate after you regain consciousness number eight/10

this is, obviously i think, the best post on this site. we all can stop posting now. i feel such relief

now hold on just a minute, op forgot a few essentials

tomacco juice

tomacco was the produce made by homer, when mixing tobacco and tomatoes after putting a plutonium rod in the ground near tobacco and tomato plants. considering tomacco was highly addictive, repulsive + possibly deadly 0/10

flaming homer/flaming moe

the secret ingredient in the flaming homer and flaming moe is krusty’s non-narkotik kough syrup for kids, probably more addictive than tomacco but everyone seemed to love it so 9/10

ned flander’s hot cocoa from the simpsons movie

this is the same cocoa that made bart mutter “oh my god” 22/10

Why

This is the most genius thing i’ve seen in years. Thank you happytoast.co.uk 💯

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

on this day two year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

on this day three years ago someone sewed a fried egg to a shirt

Pussies are biologically designed to receive regular poundings and stretch to birth an entire miniature human; one kick to the testicles can destroy a guy. Yet for some reason, we associate “pussy” with weakness and having “balls” with strength.

Reblog for a smile ❤

ok but…. im just saying… this picture of mercury makes it look like the roundest potato in existence that someone started to peel but got distracted

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

Lmfao let this never stop

carnalincarnate

You can’t not reblog this

There should be a limit to how many times your mind can be blown in one post.

uterus during period: Ohmygod I’m so embarrassed. I thought we were having a baby. DONT LOOK AT THIS! *rips down baby wallpaper* PLEASE JUST IGNORE THIS! *tears apart baby room* LETS PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED.