somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

A proboscis monkey makes a daring leap into the river below

How to get so sopping wet in one simple step

okay

you want to help stop tumblr from murdering itself? here's how!

i encourage you to reblog this so we can get as many people leaving feedback as humanly possible. we need to let staff know this is an utterly terrible idea

by the way, tumblr has turned off asks on all of their staff blogs, so this is the only way to tell tumblr how you feel

here it is again because uh. seems relevant.

Finally a use for my astronomy knowledge.

Based on kibty’s current situation, it would appear it is not full of dark matter (which does not interact with normal matter in this way, if it exists at all). It seems far more likely that kibty is full of neutron star, which is far heavier and tastier to boot.

when your boy is reblogging foreskin memes but you know damn well he is a cut crusader and not a hooded hero 

PSA, as we enter a recession (or are already in one, depending on who you ask)...

now is NOT the time to join a multilevel marketing business.

it's never the time (because they're pyramid schemes) but now is ESPECIALLY not the time, and they're gonna be out in full force trying to recruit people, especially if we start seeing widespread lay offs

If someone wants to offer you a "job opportunity" but won't tell you the name of the company, RUN

if a company requires you to purchase a starter kit, FUCKING RUN

if someone invites you to an "opportunity call" or otherwise pitches this "opportunity" to you, and it's just a whole bunch of love-bombing and motivational speaking, RUN

if you cannot "rank up" in the company without recruiting more people to your team (aka downline), RUN

if you already joined one, cut your losses and quit now. seriously

if your friends/family join them, do not buy from them, even if it's just to support them... buying from people who join MLMs gives them false confidence that they will succeed, and it keeps them in longer, and ultimately they will lose more money, and probably damage a lot of their relationships along the way

99% of people either make no money, or worse, LOSE money, in multilevel marketing. They're scams and commercial cults and the "recession proof industry" marketing campaigns are already well underway, especially in MLMs that are currently on the brink of collapse (like Monat)

don't be fooled. there is no opportunity. it's not a job. it's a scam

(also, watch out for their alternate names... network marketing and social selling are just synonyms for multilevel marketing.)

Eta: if you're not sure if a company is an MLM, Google it. There's an entire database online for this. Search "is [X] an mlm" and if it is, you'll find a wealth of information about how their scams work.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

“Why is a business where I sell stuff to people I know so bad?” You may ask.

MLM stands for Multi-Level Marketing. A multi-level marketing structure relies on infinite recruiting. There’s two ways to make money in an MLM: commission, where someone buys a thing from you, and you get a kickback of a percentage, much like affiliate marketing or a conventional sales rep job where you make commission. Except the company provides you with nothing in terms of marketing stuff, and has you purchase your own products from them, and there’s not compensation for the time you spend hawking the products.

The other way is through recruitment. You convince other people to join to MLM underneath you, essentially asking you to provide yourself with your own competition. If you recruit, and you get five friends to join, you get a bonus off of them joining, and then a percentage off each of their commissions, and off anyone they recruit’s commissions. This is where there real money is. But number one, if you assume that you recruit five people, and they each recruit five people there can only be about ten levels of this before you run out of people on planet earth, second, in order to finance this bloated financial structure, the products end up wildly overpriced, and third, in most companies you must purchased a certain amount of inventory in order to continue to receive commissions, and you have to keep everyone in your down line still in the company in order to continue making money off them.

Because it’s a pyramid scheme with products. The reps ARE the clientele. Something like 3/4s of MLM reps will not only not make any profit from this business model, but will actively LOSE money. They buy product, maybe they even buy product to keep getting their bonuses (not based on end sales to consumers, based on how much they’ve been ordering).

How joining an MLM usually goes is you pay for a starter pack, your friends and family give you a few pity-purchases, but they’re usually paying something like 30-50% over average market costs for the w product (they can get it cheaper if you become a distributor too!) and something that usually doesn’t need to be replaced that often. So maybe one person joins, or your mom does or something, and you think, well, maybe it’s a slow start… And then you have to keep making purchases every month to stay active in the company, and eventually you’ve got too many and can’t sell any more, and you quit, $700 poorer, $7000 poorer, maybe even $50k in credit card debt, because your up line kept telling you that you had to buy more to sell more and she had that free BMW from the company, and said anyone could do it, (never mind that she’s a pretty, thin blonde woman with a Disney marketing executive for a husband who also sells tutorials about how to succeed at this company) and for months you spent bothering people you didn’t know and guilting people you did.

this is literally better than the joker

actually, I love Pennsylvania’s rich culture

TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.

via reddit.com

Jesus ffucking christ bro.

Seems like he had an oral fixation… Almost as if he were replacing the cigarette with… No i shant say…

Then we’ll all say it together

F

U

N

K

Sooo hilarious but I can completely see this being a real conversation between streaming execs 😏

(original vid: Asif Ali - instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2p8jpkzz)

“they even put an Indian guy in WandaVision”

hang on a second, I gotta look up something

yeah, this is really funny

Map: States where you can get birth control from a pharmacist

Arizona last week became the latest in a growing group of states that allow people to get birth control from a pharmacist without a doctor’s prescription.

Since 2016, 29 states and Washington, D.C., have passed laws allowing pharmacists to prescribe hormonal contraception such as birth control pills and patches. Arizona’s new policy, announced Thursday, applies to people 18 years and older and comes on the heels of similar legislation that Rhode Island Gov. Dan McKee, a Democrat, signed into law last month.

build-a-bear, bookstore, bondage and breeding 😌

And beyond