Not dead

So I didn't let myself get hit..... but I still wish I had

Should I?

I’m currently going on a walk and contemplating whether or not to let a car hit me

Original Poem Time

I am good I am great I am not second rate I am good I am strong I wish that I was never wrong But I am Quite a bit That's OK, I don't throw a fit Except when I do I do it alone So I can be free

Confession Time

So I've fallen in and out of my bad habits of self neglect for a few years, but I recently started starving myself again. I don't even know why I did it really. I mean, I've been super irritated and stressed out lately but not enough to do this again. And the thoughts. If I'm alone, like right now, I'm worried I might do worse to myself. I've never thought me capable of hurting myself worse than the starving and hair pulling in the past, but lately I've wondered if I put the knife to my skin, would it help any? Would it feel better than the lack of food that I've gotten so used to? Or better than my shrinking eyebrows and eyelashes and head hair? Would it be better? Or if I just took the knife and drove it in my stomach, would that relieve the pain I'm not quite sure I feel? Idk but if things don't change for the better, I might just do it.

Ugh

Maybe yesterday and today shouldn’t have come for me. I wish tomorrow was here to take me somewhere other than where I am right now, physically as well as just in life. I need to go somewhere other than here. I can’t believe people even want to know me or hang out with me or love me. I’m a horrible nuisance who is just in other people’s way and I need to go somewhere nobody knows me so I don’t feel that way anymore. That is all and good day.