rizahauukeye

Captain Shart

God just is making anyone these days

TXF 5x12

when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.

to clarify. my dad used to be a cab driver in ny and he also grew up in india so he just drives like a dickhead.

"Women hold up half the sky"

All-women Palestinian guerrilla unit of the Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine (DFLP), Palestine.

Ughh….. nah man I can’t drive. Fucked up on jasmine rice right now.

I can quit any time I want just. One more bowl 🍚

rewatching fullmetal alchemist after you know that selim is pride is the funniest thing in the fucking world

He goes to SCHOOL. “he’s the top of his class and got the best grade on his assignment” yeah I bet he did. I bet this prideful bitch wouldn’t be able handle getting anything less than it.

They got kimblee out of jail because they were hard on hands that’s SO funny because pride is RIGHT THERE!!!!!! But they can’t use him bc you know why? He’s too busy doing his ENGLISH HOMEWORK

EXACTLY!!!!!!! Pride is ready at any moment to slaughter an entire family but first he has to eat his 4.99 chicken fingers that his mommy got him off the kids menu!!!!!!!!

Alright now no one tell anyone

cw: racialized violence, canon typical violence, vomit

Hey, I know I'm a day early for 10/3 but since its the 20th anniversary of fma 03 and I just happened to get back into it in time I thought I'd go all out, so i have 3 videos coming out for 10/2/3/4. This one is for the the 19th anniversary of the last episode!

niche fma jokes that cater to me specifically

[FMAB] The moment before, or after

almost peed my pants today when my bf told me about this dude in his hometown who dressed up like ryan gosling in Drive every day (including driving gloves) but did not own a car. bf was like “yeah we called him Walk”

me & the salmon swimming upstream

character development

Let me tell you something. Sex is not fun. Sex is wrong. Immoral. Terrible. So stop having sex with your husbands. I will shoulder the burden of sin. I will fuck your husbands on your behalf.

Thank you sasuke